Most Embarrassing Thing That’s Happened To You?

[Blahblahahaaa77]

I always remember the time my grandma fell up the stairs at Disneyland Paris and grabbed on to the trousers of man in front of her ... unfortunately his tracksuit bottoms fell down and he was commando! It made for a very awkward 2 hour queue for the haunted house

 

[Mrs Cucumber]

I went sailing with my ex and he ran his yacht aground, did a mayday call and the RNLI were coming out to rescue us, I stood up just as the boat listed, the boom swang round and knocked me over board, luckily I had my life jacket on and was theathered to the boat. I managed to hold onto the side of the boat and was clinging on for dear life (weak swimmer) when the RNLI man WALKED up to me and pointed out i would be able to walk to their rib, I just had to put my legs down

 

[SpiceWeasel]

Oh God, loads.

The one that stays in my mind.... I bought a vibrator when I was 18, shaped like a lipstick. Mum found it when she was helping clear out my room so it could be re-painted. ‘Ah, is this the lipstick your dad got you for Christmas? It’s a lovely red, isn’t it?’ She tried swatching it and obviously it didn’t swatch... then found the button... held it out as it vibrated away... then asked LOUDLY IN FRONT OF THE PAINTER “Apple, why is it vibrating, tell me why, what is it?” literally over and over and over, I was mortified, the painter (old enough to be my father) was tittering away although tbf to him he also looked as though he could’ve melted through the floor, she then got the message. Still, “Apple has a d*ldo!” went around my whole family for a while. Sometimes I wonder if you can murder someone via vibrator because I came very close that day (pun not intended) at least nobody snoops around my room any more

I literally spent over a thousand pounds returning from the USA for a spontaneous trip ‘to visit family’ and ‘say goodbye to the house’ because my parents were moving. It was really because my dad would have been packing up my old room and I suddenly remembered a similar item under the
bed and wanted to avoid a similar situation

 

[Rose18778]

Haha this thread has cheered me up today
I have a few but two that stick out in my mind:

When I was about 18 I lived in a flat just me and my dad as my parents had divorced a few years before. I had gone out one night and was going to stay at my friends but didn’t feel great so called it a night early. Walked in on my dad having vigorous sex in the living room with some random woman the worst thing is he saw me and they didn’t even stop! I ran to my bedroom and put headphones in and we both just never mentioned it! Oh I’m cringing just thinking about it. She must have left straight after as she wasn’t there the next morning!

Another must have been around the same timeframe. I was casually seeing a guy for about a month and we had been out and had a lot to drink. Went back to his (he lived in a shared house) and slept together. I woke up a few hours later knowing i was about to throw up. For some reason I was naked except for my bra stumbled across the hall to his bathroom and didn’t shut the door (god knows why). I leant over to throw up and let out the loudest fart ever I was mortified. Made a speedy exit after that.

 

[HelloStereo]

I was coming home from drinks and I got on the tube. Everyone was staring at me funny but I thought maybe I looked really good or something. Turns out my flies were undone and i was showing off some pretty bright orange knickers.

Once I was in a pub after watching a rugby match with the guy I was dating and a few work colleagues. It was quite a busy and rowdy bar as people had been drinking throughout the game. There were some guys dancing on a table and we were standing right beside them. One of them fell off the table and landed on me. I subsequently fell down a few steps and knocked over a bin, its entire contents spilling onto me as well as the drink I was holding. All in front of the guy I was dating and my work colleagues. I had to get the train home smelling of beer and bin juice.

Oh yeah, and I sometimes cycle in London. I had a helmet which made my hair really sweaty so I got a new one with more ventilation holes. For some reason at the traffic lights I decided it'd be a good idea to stick my finger in one of the ventilation holes and I got my finger stuck. The traffic lights turned green and cars were beeping at me to go but I didn't want to cycle off one handed and I had my finger stuck in my helmet. I had to bail and park my bike on the pavement whilst I unstuck my finger.

 

[AutumnSpring]

Oh god also just remembered - In a meeting at work with a load of the big wigs about a charity event I suggested having a spit roast as we did one at my previous work and it went down really well.



Yes, I meant hog roast.

 

[newtoyou]

I was on the train and desperately needed a poo (it’s the first time I’ve ever thought I might poo myself in public!). I figured I could wait to get to the station rather than risk going on the train loos (because I knew I’d be in there for a while). Finally got in the station cubicle and let’s just say it wasn’t pretty. The problem was the cleaners were in there and for some reason were cleaning each cubicle after every person. After about 10 mins I was the only one left in a cubicle and I could hear the cleaners out there just waiting for me to get out. I finally did, and the cleaner went in, said “loooorrrd” and stepped right out. I washed my hands and ran

 

[Hereforthehottea]

Last year, Father’s Day I woke up and opened my bedroom blind. My neighbour and his young son were stood on the pavement outside so I gave them a big smile and a wave. The father looked slightly horrified and turned himself and his son away. I thought ‘rude’ then walked to the bathroom where I caught a glimpse of myself and horror descended- my thin strap nightie had shifted in the night and the arm hole was now perfectly framing my (large) boob. Neighbour moved shortly after that!

 

[AutumnSpring]

This Is brilliant.... and their response?

It all went quiet for a moment because I genuinely thought I’d said hog roast and then my boss said “I think you mean hog roast... we only do spit roasts when we hit target” and we all just cracked up for ages whilst I went a lovely shade of crimson!! They never let me forget it

 

[Apple In My Pie]

Oh God, loads.

The one that stays in my mind.... I bought a vibrator when I was 18, shaped like a lipstick. Mum found it when she was helping clear out my room so it could be re-painted. ‘Ah, is this the lipstick your dad got you for Christmas? It’s a lovely red, isn’t it?’ She tried swatching it and obviously it didn’t swatch... then found the button... held it out as it vibrated away... then asked LOUDLY IN FRONT OF THE PAINTER “Apple, why is it vibrating, tell me why, what is it?” literally over and over and over, I was mortified, the painter (old enough to be my father) was tittering away although tbf to him he also looked as though he could’ve melted through the floor, she then got the message. Still, “Apple has a d*ldo!” went around my whole family for a while. Sometimes I wonder if you can murder someone via vibrator because I came very close that day (pun not intended) at least nobody snoops around my room any more

 

[ChloChlo]

I heard lots of laughing, hysterics and screaming outside my bedroom window while my 2 kids were playing on the front and paid no heed for ages just sounded like they were having a ball. I eventually looked outside and there were my kids with all the kids on the estate kicking my big luminous blue rampant rabbit around and chasing eachother with it. The younger of the two was 7 at the time and didnt know what it was, he had obviously taken it outside where my then 12 year old and mates clearly knew full well what it was... well, I had to do the walk of shame to retrieve it. The kids were kicking it about and I felt like piggy in the middle trying to get it. Plus everyone was laughing. By then the neighbours were out laughing. I could feel eyeballs everywhere I couldnt even look anywhere I grabbed it and ran. The local kids were calling me Blue Dildo mum and a prostitute. My older sons name is Dylan so he ended up with an unfortunate nickname over it... to make matters worse on my run of shame inside I also spotted my giant cock lollipop from Blackpool wedged on the fence. It wasnt the reason I moved out of the estate but thank fuck I did!

 

[NapQueen]

My OH ‘pantsed’ me when I was on our doorstep holding up our dog to do a silly wave goodbye to our guests as they got in their car. Beaver out, the lot. Nearly threw the dog at him.

 

[WilmaHun]

I was in that honeymoon period with my partner, you know, where you always make an effort to look nice, scared to fart, try to eat nicely instead of gobbling it all in 2 seconds.

I'm lactose intolerant, and was yet to fart in front of my partner. His Mum had made us all shepherds pie for tea, but I'd forgotten to tell her that I am dairy free and I didn't even think about what might be in the food before clearing my plate. I felt my stomach aching as we left the dining table but thought nothing of it, other than maybe I'd eaten too much. As we made our way back upstairs, me in front, my partner behind me, I had this absolutely crippling cramp in my stomach. I let out the loudest, most outrageous fart I've ever known myself to do right in his face! His Mum had put cows milk and butter into the mash. His stairway at his parents goes into the living room, where his Grandma was sat enjoying a cup of tea! She spat her tea out. I've never been so mortified in my life! Needless to say I had to RUN to the bathroom to do my business.

 

[Curiositycandy]

I have laughed at these so much tonight so I will share mine...

My Mum, Gran and Auntie used to all go this award winning State of the art hairdressers and being 8 I was so in awe of all these ‘cool hairdressers’. One visit I’m sat in the waiting area and the receptionist is chatting too me and I threw my head back to laugh and managed to get it wedged in the state of the effing art rot iron flame affect high back chairs. My poor Gran had to come away from the back wash with her hair soaking (and half the Salon along with her) to unwedge my head - still mortified now and im in my 30s. I wonder if they think of me as the creepy kid who got stuck

On another occasion I went to a friend of a friends gig with her pals I didn’t know. My nerves got the better of me when the best looking guy out her group came up and introduced himself as Dave. My reply?

Hi I’m Dave

I’m a female and my name is NOT Dave, I’m still dying off as I type this

 

[Itsallaboutmememe]

I heard lots of laughing, hysterics and screaming outside my bedroom window while my 2 kids were playing on the front and paid no heed for ages just sounded like they were having a ball. I eventually looked outside and there were my kids with all the kids on the estate kicking my big luminous blue rampant rabbit around and chasing eachother with it. The younger of the two was 7 at the time and didnt know what it was, he had obviously taken it outside where my then 12 year old and mates clearly knew full well what it was... well, I had to do the walk of shame to retrieve it. The kids were kicking it about and I felt like piggy in the middle trying to get it. Plus everyone was laughing. By then the neighbours were out laughing. I could feel eyeballs everywhere I couldnt even look anywhere I grabbed it and ran. The local kids were calling me Blue Dildo mum and a prostitute. My older sons name is Dylan so he ended up with an unfortunate nickname over it... to make matters worse on my run of shame inside I also spotted my giant cock lollipop from Blackpool wedged on the fence. It wasnt the reason I moved out of the estate but thank fuck I did!

That reminds me of the time I got a phone call from my sons school
snooty teacher-can you come to school now?
me-sure,is everything ok?
snooty teacher-yes,but we need you here now
me-I’ll be 5 minutes

shot round the corner,but in my hurry I didn’t think to take my bag-only my keys,and as it was a boiling hot day I was wearing a dress with no pockets

got to the school,and snooty teacher was waiting for me
she hands me an object and walked off

it was my pink dildo!(the one I thought I’d hidden i a place nobody would find it-or so I thought)

the little shit had found it,stuffed it in his school bag and was seen waving it around in the playground

that was the longest walk home I’d ever done in my life…

 

[AutumnSpring]

Oh God, loads.

The one that stays in my mind.... I bought a vibrator when I was 18, shaped like a lipstick. Mum found it when she was helping clear out my room so it could be re-painted. ‘Ah, is this the lipstick your dad got you for Christmas? It’s a lovely red, isn’t it?’ She tried swatching it and obviously it didn’t swatch... then found the button... held it out as it vibrated away... then asked LOUDLY IN FRONT OF THE PAINTER “Apple, why is it vibrating, tell me why, what is it?” literally over and over and over, I was mortified, the painter (old enough to be my father) was tittering away although tbf to him he also looked as though he could’ve melted through the floor, she then got the message. Still, “Apple has a d*ldo!” went around my whole family for a while. Sometimes I wonder if you can murder someone via vibrator because I came very close that day (pun not intended) at least nobody snoops around my room any more

Mine is similar to this one...

I was still living at home (with my mum and her partner). Home alone all afternoon and I could hear a strange noise coming from the loft, this went on for hours. I kept opening the bedroom window to check it wasn’t a helicopter is was so loud. Anyway... they come home so I ask them to come upstairs and go into the loft to figure out what the hell the noise is as it’s driving me bonkers. Mums partner comes into my room and says that’s not from the loft it’s something in here... I continued to argue that it wasn’t. We were all searching around my room to figure out what it was and then the penny dropped. I had been having a little fun while they were out and “it” had accidentally switched back on. It was vibrating in the under bed drawer which was making the headboard and in turn wall/ceiling vibrate (hence thinking it was coming from the loft). I hastily kicked them out and told them it didn’t matter at which point I think the penny also dropped for them too

 

[HelloStereo]

Oh yeah, one time I stayed at a friend's house, must have been about 12 or so. We were sitting on her bed and my stomach started to feel funny. I needed a poo but I was at the age where I felt weird pooing anywhere other than at home. I figured I was going home in a few hours so could hold on.

About twenty minutes later another wave came and I realised I couldn't hold it. I remember standing up and I still didn't want to use the loo, so I walked over to where my friend was sitting going "help me" as I started letting out loads of little farts. She just recoiled and went "ew, no".

I don't remember what happened after, I think I just went to the toilet in the end. I'm not actually that embarrassed about it, but looking back it was so funny that I was slowly walking towards her farting and begging her to help me as I needed a poo.

 

[HelloStereo]

I was on the train and desperately needed a poo (it’s the first time I’ve ever thought I might poo myself in public!). I figured I could wait to get to the station rather than risk going on the train loos (because I knew I’d be in there for a while). Finally got in the station cubicle and let’s just say it wasn’t pretty. The problem was the cleaners were in there and for some reason were cleaning each cubicle after every person. After about 10 mins I was the only one left in a cubicle and I could hear the cleaners out there just waiting for me to get out. I finally did, and the cleaner went in, said “loooorrrd” and stepped right out. I washed my hands and ran

Ah I feel ya. It's like when you go for a poo in public and it's busy so you wait in the cubicle hoping the queue will subside. Eventually you make your run for it and someone typically comes in and goes into the toilet after you. I usually make a comment which is so obviously a lie like "someone left it in a state before me".

Similarly as awkward (although I wasn't the perpetrator). One time I went to the toilets with a friend and I thought it was just me and her in there. I was in the cubicle and heard an almighty fart, and I just went "Charlotte, goodness me what did you eat earlier?"

I didn't hear anything for ages and then I heard her gently reply "I'm just outside". Turned out I hadn't realised someone else had come in and it was them who was parping away in the cubicle next to me.

 

[LadyLockdown]

Years ago at a car boot sale I was ambling around and saw a table up ahead with loads of beautiful scarves. One of them was a gorgeous gold thread and really caught my eye. There was a scrum of people rifling through these scarves and so as I approached I grabbed hold of the gold one and yanked it only to find there was a woman attached to it. In my haste to grab the beautiful scarf I had overlooked the fact it was already owned and wrapped around the neck of someone else. Unfortunately, she had a black coat on and the table full of scarves also had a black cloth covering it so they'd sort of merged into one.

I was so mortified, I just let go of the scarf (and the woman) and ran off at full speed.

 

[HelloStereo]

I just sent this into my family whatsapp group because I have been thinking about it all day and absolutely howling to myself.

I'm glad it made you laugh! I remember panicking so much when it happened but it must have looked absolutely ridiculous to motorists behind.

I thought of a few more as well. One time I was showering after working out at the gym. I usually put my phone / work out clothes in my locker and grab some clean pants and walk to the showers in a towel. When I came back from having the shower I tried to open my locker and the padlock got jammed. I had to walk across the gym floor and go up to reception in nothing but a skimpy towel and ask them to break into my locker.

I also used the toilets at a Starbucks and someone tried to open the door but obviously it was locked so they couldn't get in. It's like in most Starbucks where you just get a few single toilets that are for men and women and have disabled access and baby changing facilities etc. Anyway, the person who tried to get in walks off so I thought they were just going back to their seat to wait. Instead they got an employee who had a key to the toilet as they must not have realised it was occupied. They unlocked it and were greeted by me sitting on the toilet with my trousers at my ankles. I just said "but I locked the door". They apologised and closed it again, but that was so humiliating.