MOD & FOD #35 Hiding out by the coast, luckily there’s old pics to roast

[Smartie]

Surely a midwife more than anyone would know the importance of contraception?

That first baby was not an accident.

 

[rainbowlemon]

View attachment 177687

His book has its own website with links of where to buy it (#desperate) and on the google link they can’t even spell ducking Hooper right!!

Sorry I’m not taking one for the team and buying it. Tbh I can’t believe it’s full price, I’d expect to see it on the bargain table at the Works!

Poundland! They had nice Dennis the Menace and Mr Men books at my local one.

Soz I wouldn't buy a copy either unless everyone wanted to chip in 20p.

The last book I bought myself was instrumental by James Rhodes in 2017. I only use libraries now cause I'm an aspiring minimalist. cause I'm cheap.

Like the smug mummas who loooove to reveal how they had a 48 hr drug free labour with their 13lb baby, good on em, but really who cares.

Don't forget the doulas giving them lavender scented towels whilst they chanted their hypnobirthing mantras and music played to create a harmonizing atmosphere to align everyone's' energy. The birth photographer will also have been booked the moment said child was conceived.

 

[EddieBeds]

I think it sounds worse with a bit of context: "We had to watch daddy have a shower while mummy took pictures... to put on the internet"

My toddler told his nursery the other week that ‘daddy was very naughty and the big police lorry came to take daddy away...’ - all lies/imagination but made for an interesting conversation!!! His response when being told ‘no’, especially by my partner is to tell us we’ve been very naughty and that the we’re ‘into arrest’ (he won’t accept the saying is ‘under arrest’). Once we reassured Nursery that the police hadn’t been present etc they found it highly amusing but god can you imagine what tales the Twins must tell their nursery...all of which can be verified with one little look at FODs insta!

 

[blurstoftimes]

Just noticed this in the reflection.

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I thought this was fringe off clemmie at first

 

[Peekaboo1234]

Good article on why you shouldn’t post pics of your kids on Instagram https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/risks-of-posting-photos-of-kids-on-instagram

 

[Cliqueypedia]

IIRC, he was at the swimming baths with the twins and one of the older girls (they were also in the original picture). I’m sure he captioned it with something along the lines of one the girls saying ‘look, it’s daddy’s penis’. He’s grotesque.
Scouse Rachel absolutely ripped the piss out of him for that one on Twitter, deservedly so.
ETA; sorry, I’m talking about the one with the red towel. The shower one is a new one on me.

Having just checked, I can confirm he does indeed refer to “look, look, it’s daddy’s willy” in the caption of the towel one!

 

[Libertine]

There is research that shows it’s much better for new mothers to be up and moving around - not bedridden for two weeks. (Not up mowing the lawn and giving the house a deep clean, just up using their legs!)

I haven’t read Clemmie’s book so I could be misunderstanding the ‘pull up the drawbridge’ analogy, but apart from it being really good for physical recovery from birth to be moving about, it’s probably also really good for many new mother’s mental health to have social contact and support.

Not everyone has a husband who brings us a tray of period paraphernalia accompanied by a basset hound expression.

I wonder how much of the book was evidenced based? Or was it a vanity book and supposed to be a light read?

 

[ExhaustedDad]

Nah hun but that's really sticking the knife in.

I still bear the scars from when I was accused of being FOD

 

[Axatogrind]

ETA: just read the song list
So glad to see He Is A Father made the track list Hahahaha

I wasn't going to bother replacing the whole original track list but then I decided it looked a bit wrong if I didn't (even though there was a track called "A Most Peculiar Man"), so I thought I might as well go the whole hog . Those tracks were just the first things that popped into my head!

 

[Libertine]

I've often thought how much I would HATE to be sent loads of stuff that I personally did not carefully pick and choose. I wouldn't care a jot that it's "free".

It’s the crap ‘artworks’ they put on their walls that gets me.

Awful, cheap, gifted typography that’s already dated, whacked into a cheap off the shelf frame. More bloody overrated Margo in Margate. Every Influencer home blending together as one’s eyes glaze over at the Hippity Hop and Be Kind posters.

 

[KittenRadziwell]

The one in the shower with the twins watching,I had Forgotten about

I have just, so many questions about that picture. But also I never want to talk about it ever. I just... what? Why? No. Never tell me. It didn't happen. Oh god. Just. What was the context? No. No. I don't want to know. Jesus Christ.

 

[Pocahontas]

Spoken poetry? Pretending to be poor? Dramas left right and centre? This Cash person sounds like Jack Monroe.

 

[Dogmuck]

Wtf is gurkaing? This back to work malarkey has me way behind! Damn job...

So I had to ask the Jack Munroe pose this too. This is how I understand it. So there’s someone on the JM thread called Grunka Lunka @GrunkaLunka (you’re a celeb on the FOD thread), because the JM thread moves so fast GrunkaLunka was always reacting on earlier threads. Other tattlers mentioned how GL was always behind and it became a name a verb to Grunka - which is effectively catching up on threads. Some smart Tattle bastard came up with that

Soz i can't tell the difference either, but omg Martha's drama over the rental is legit worth reading!

I bow down to the wisdom of trolls.

What’s the thread called @rainbowlemon

 

[judsmum]

A-MAZE-ING!!!


Julie Burchill+Caitlin Moran=cash caraway non?

‘Her vagina fell out due to giving birth’ did she find it?

Apparently so, it was under the La Redoute rug....

 

[frostily]

Woah, holy shit! Thanks for highlighting that. What an excellent and thorough review highlighting the body sharming and sexist tone, with plenty of examples as evidence.

I think this will work as a direct link, definitely worth a read:

Check out this Amazon review of How to Grow a Baby and Push It Out: Your no-nonsense guide to pregnancy and birth

Only skims the surface and filled with sexist and body shaming undertones

www.amazon.co.uk

Christ if she happened to be my midwife and I read that, and thus knew she was judging my body like she obviously does it would’ve destroyed my mental health. Why the fuck was she not pulled up professionally before now!?

 

[EddieBeds]

NEVER LET GO! THAT IS WHAT THEY WANTTT

Have you stumbled across his Tinder profile?!

 

[Jumperoo62]

I love how (I’m assuming) that ‘sorry not sorry’ was autocorrected to ‘sorry bot sorry’

Sorry Bot Sorry is a great thread name for his return.

 

[Evergreenforest]

I’m just watching the bbc drama “the secret she keeps” where the woman bloggers baby gets stolen. The dad is angry with the mum, saying that she made their family a target by putting them all over the internet. I know it’s only a drama but good for thought surely...

’m just watching the bbc drama “the secret she keeps” where the woman bloggers baby gets stolen. The dad is angry with the mum, saying that she made their family a target by putting them all over the internet. I know it’s only a drama but good for thought surely...

That was meant to say food For thought not good for thought obvs

Bloody hell you can tell im new to this site, I don’t know what I’m doing. Don’t know why that posted twice

Or why this keeps posting on the same response!! How do I write a new post??

 

[Dogmuck]

Okay I hope nobody will report me for going off-topic but FOD hasn't posted in six weeks so .

It's not so entertaining. I think we both realized like after two seconds "okay there is no chemistry"... Still ordered a drink but the smalltalk was so boring. He was talking a lot but without getting specific. I asked him for example what he had been up to today and then he talked for 5 minutes about YouTube videos and that there are many interesting ones where people teach you stuff and he started watching them and there are lots of experts and during lockdown he really got into certain topics but he never said what kind of topics and I was like "okay are you watching videos about playing the ukulele or learning Chinese or about how to dispose a body ????" Then we started talking about football and I think he realized that I know a lot about it and then he was like "wow for a girl you know a lot... That's special" and I was like: is it 1922 ??? At one point our smalltalk was so basic that I thought okay "when will he ask me about my favourite colour or pet (blue and dogs btw) ?" that was worse that the date I had a few years ago with a man whose first question was "do you like board games?"

Omg I’m so sorry I ended up getting in the bath and then remembered I’d asked you about your date so just slopped water all over the show to rush to get my phone! Soz!
Holy Shit that sounds like hell I don’t think I’ve ever been on a date like that but it’s been a while since I’ve been on a date...like 30 years. I’m pretty sure I’d just get pissed, insist on going clubbing, look for suitable alternatives and if not then snog date, probably shag date, wake up rough and horrified, gnaw my arm off to escape, grab clothes and put them on whilst rushing for door, walk of shame, sleep and repeat! You defo need to suggest going clubbing fairly early on if the date is crap so you can either dance, find another date or escape in the crowd. Actually are clubs even open?
Dare I ask...will you be having a second date. Also, who’s your footy team? Xxx

 

[CakeQueen]

Exactly this. Even if they’re offered it free for “exposure” surely the “kind” thing to do would be to politely decline a freebie and insist on paying

Yes! How about saying ‘that’s very kind of you, but I’ll pay and still share my wonderful experience and tell others’ Bloody arsewipes