MOD & FOD #35 Hiding out by the coast, luckily there’s old pics to roast

[Jumperoo62]

I am 3.5months pregnant with baby number 3. I dread to think that midwives might be judging my bits when I am too fat to administrate the fanny to their taste.

 

[Emmadale]

We were planning a Friday evening in Whitstable with chips.. Maybe I should switch to ramsgate? Or margate? Or a kent coast tour, frantically scanning for a FOD shaped baffoon

We’re planning a weekend to Whistable in a few weeks, I think my fiancé would take the ring back if he thought I was on the lookout for some child selling racist insta grabbers!

 

[Pocahontas]

I live for your pics, @Axatogrind, truly

ETA: just read the song list
So glad to see He Is A Father made the track list Hahahaha

 

[OhMyWord]

There's got to be a private account. Did anyone see the caption? Was it FOD style 10 paragraphs of crap, or something simple for family?

What would his private username be? @metaphorsrus or @bikerideshealyoursoul or @ididntwanttomovetoramsgate ??

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Everything was fine on Monday
Cash's teaser appeared on Tuesday
Went to see the solicitor on Wednesday
And on Thursday they sent the C&D...
..
..
We chilled on Sunday.

View attachment 171305

Sweet threads, Glen.

 

[Gem74]

How very apt!

View attachment 169949

A-MAZE-ING!!!

I’m brain dumping everything I can remember about Cash here:

She grew up in Penge. She says she was bullied badly at school.

She was in a punk/indie band (?)

As a young woman she won a writing award or wrote a play for the royal court or something.

Then she had an abusive partner/ran away did sex chat lines/soho peepshow.

Then she was in a refuge (possibly in Notting hill).

Then a man who claimed to be her saviour came along and she moved in with him, started writing a mummy blog with reviews/freebies etc - not sure if that was later claimed to have been a situationist art prank or something.

She wrote a blog about her vagina ‘falling out’ due to damage while giving birth.

She was up for a mumsnet blogger award and claims other women at the award show sniggered at her and avoided her because she was honest about the damage to her body and because they were jealous of her writing talent.

She deleted that blog ‘the comeback mum’ because she had been living a lie/it wasn’t the real her.

She wrote some political poetry. It wasn’t very good.

The second man, the saviour, had become abusive (also possibly gay?) and she escaped with her child.

She got another place in a refuge. The ceiling fell in.

She was given a council flat in Kent.

At some point she said she was an alcoholic and was now abstinent- when someone saw a bottle of wine in a photo of the fridge and pointed it out she got angry and defensive.

Some women claimed she had used their stories and pretended they were her own.

She goaded the child sellers and said anyone who took money from companies who donated money to the Tory party were also Tories. She listed companies. She gloated at how many people unfollowed her. She had postcards printed with ‘not a Tory’ and mailed them out to people who asked for them.

There was some to-do with an account called ‘the influencer trainer’ and possibly a WhatsApp group of instamums bitching about her.

People questioned why she had Waitrose branded food when she was claiming to be living in extreme poverty.

If she was talked about online anywhere she would get histrionic and claim people were driving her to suicide.

I don’t know what went down with her and Clemmie but I think they are as bad as each other.

I can’t wait for the play!

Julie Burchill+Caitlin Moran=cash caraway non?

‘Her vagina fell out due to giving birth’ did she find it?

 

[Saddlesoap]

Has it ever been considered that MOD (or even Anya) changed his password and then logged out to save themselves from him.

 

[ILoveUnicorns]

Wow that’s a review and a half!! Sadly doesn’t surprise me, makes the Axa IWD ad even more ironic now!

 

[Agent Krycek]

I don't know much about the Cash Carraway person (apart from what I have read on this thread), but I am very impressed how she has bided her time to get her revenge on Glen - the SODs must be fuming!

 

[FrannyGallops]

Are we completely sure that those pics of naked Fod haven’t come from his ‘OnlyFans’ account? He’s got to find some way to make up that lost revenue since Clemmie’s racist blunder (sorry, his ‘wife’s actions’)? I’m sure all his Texas huns would chuck him a bob or two for that sort of content.

 

[Dogmuck]

FFS just read the Huffpost arse to elbow split vagina thingy As if a Dr would ever say “I’m going to slice you”! Not to go into too much technical detail here (and I’m no Dr), but surely whether a tampon stays in has no bearing on a 4th degree tear? Utter nonsense.

Did remind me of a weirdo at work who used to corner people in the ladies and tell them she had “half a fanny” and ask if they’d look at the discharge in her pants and advise if they though it was normal?

Please tell me that work colleague story is NOT true. Please tell me you just made it up for the Lolz

@frostily - we will be reviewing your chatty member status. With a error of this magnitude there may be a demotion back down to Well Known Member.

 

[Emmadale]

His book has its own website with links of where to buy it (#desperate) and on the google link they can’t even spell ducking Hooper right!!

Sorry I’m not taking one for the team and buying it. Tbh I can’t believe it’s full price, I’d expect to see it on the bargain table at the Works!

 

[LuBiLu]

I don't know much about Cash or DLM, so cannot comment.

I just checked Sly's followers to see what country is now following him en masse, and Ronan Keating is following him!!

 

[Jumperoo62]

Wonder how they’ll feel when they come to sell up and the new owners immediately remove everything they’ve installed, in order to return it to its proper, original, Victorian style?

And if the new owners had social media? Even better! “We’re renovating this poor house and removing the chavtastic tat fitted by the previous owners... our particular hate is this pink bathroom, with public toilet gender labelling on the floor, but the second kitchen, which was bizarrely referred to as a dressing room, will also be thrown out and burnt on a communal rubbish pile”....

We bought our own Victorian money pit last year. When we first bought it there was holes in the floor, mould on the walls and a cat poo on the second floor? The previous owner hadn’t turned on the heating in fifteen years. It has flooded twice since we moved in and soaked all our stuff. This week we got excited because we no longer need to fill the bath from a pipe and turn the water on with a screw driver.

I can’t believe what they’re doing to their lovely house in the name of Insta. I’m still pissed off that they stuck that lovely bath in the garden. I’m all for putting your own stamp on things but why would you wreck a perfectly nice house?

 

[Dogmuck]

Omg you're so lucky.

Did my secret husband Chris come over and talk to you?

Now: 44 days, 3 hours, 7 minutes and 13 seconds.

I feel like Desmond from lost.

It’s bad because we didn’t even celebrate him getting down to 962k (unless I missed it) and now he’s down to 961k, because we know he should really be on about 950k the sneaky little shit!

 

[Curio]

To be fair, my fellow trolls, there’s much work to be done on lots of other SODSTER type folk on Instagram. This is why we had the evacuation team protocol put in place. In the event of FoD close down, we are all to meet in the foyer of the Jack Monroe thread where @Pocahontas will do a head count. Those of you who think this thread is full of funny af smart people will not believe the levels over there...
Jack Monroe is the Tattle gift that keeps on giving there’s new threads almost daily with the shit she gets up to. So give it a go, dip your toes in another social media car crash, there’s lots of “in” jokes but there’s always a good intro at the beginning of every thread so you can get on board fast.

I think the SODs are done, even if they wanted to come back their space has already been taken up by another 8billion beggy desperado parent/Reno bloggers with twins/triplets and some don’t even have kids and just do interiors cos they are actually good at it. Sly and Clam are the Richard and Judy of day time tv. They were ok at first, then they became annoying, then the world realised Richard was a shoplifter, they went off air...never came back really. They are not a national treasure and the SODs certainly aren’t. Their time is over, I’d like to think we had a hand in that

Careful, they might start a book club. With their two books.

I agree. We need each other. I'm almost 29 and still single. What am I going to spend my time doing if I don't have fod or tattle? I don't even have sex dreams properly- last night I just kissed a random guy on the cheek (this is after he saved my youngest sister. )

Plan B:
A knitting club
A painting club
Lego club?

On topic 961379.

One of us obviously needs to have a baby at Kings.

 

[Pom]

Having followed these threads for months, it’s almost sad to see the FOD shaped tumbleweed travelling through here.

Not that I wish to see either of them reappear anytime soon. They both infuriate me and deserve to be knocked off the Instagram Wall of Fame, onto the Instagram Wall of Shame.

 

[Pocahontas]

We were planning a Friday evening in Whitstable with chips.. Maybe I should switch to ramsgate? Or margate? Or a kent coast tour, frantically scanning for a FOD shaped baffoon

You know what you have to do.
We’ll all be behind you, in spirit.

I’d say first port of call has to be nature’s photo frame failing that, build a roadblock and stop and search any and all men in Lycra.

 

[Smartie]

I'm busying myself on other threads, but this will always be home

If he could just throw us a bone every month or so. We don't need much. Just a faux post like he did a couple of weeks ago by accident? Anything.

 

[rainbowlemon]

So

"MOD & FOD #36: Sorry bot sorry" or my suggestion

MOD & FOD #36 here a bot, there a bot everywhere a bot.