MOD & FOD #26 Fodcliffe, it’s mee, I’m Clammie, I’ve come home, so cold, let me in you drafty Victorian window!

heretoreaditall2019 · Mar 13, 2020

Slatternly said:
Fod must be sitting on his hands at the moment what with the possibility of being outnumbered in a quarantine situation. These are my content predictions for when he comes back.

1. A serious post about looking after ones loved ones and taking pleasure in small things during these hard times.

2. A picture of a deserted b and q which will allow for all manner of fod dancing.

3. A kitchen disco featuring the twins to while away the minutes.

4. Mother’s Day. A lovingly prepared tray to take to mod. Except she won’t feature as she’s in the attic rocking backwards and forward mumbling.

5. A serious post about intelligent, middle class ways of entertaining your middle class children. This will feature wooden board games and books.

6. Isn’t it useful to have gousto now the shops are all shut?

Have I missed any?

Looooool, these are great, is it bad I don’t think he’ll mention Mother’s Day because he’s all about the ££ and she fumbled it for them? But how can he avoid it?! Maybe focus on the girls and him being a saviour dad by organising a breakfast that has zany comedic catastrophes fresh for the gram? But never ever mention or show social anthrax wife lest the tides turn (again).

It’s the first MD since the scandal, ooooooo. Will she be rolled out from the crypt again, sausage roll in hand? It’s such a shame you can’t do polls on tattle!

Blahblahbuzzy · Mar 13, 2020

SaladDressing said:
Bank Holiday Market FOD would have no content if it wasn't for Slymon. He was probably the inspiration for having twins!

@houseofhoop I think your forecast may be right. He needs to post something to trigger the Huns into drool mode then he'll have some self-love material to crack on with for the weekend!

Trigger the Huns into drool mode

Edited to say, that would be an amazing thread title Trigger the Huns into drool mode #houseofhooperlaunch

Dragonmother · Mar 13, 2020

. "Mother’s Day. A lovingly prepared tray to take to mod. Except she won’t feature as she’s in the attic rocking backwards and forward mumbling."

Absolute. Gold.

poopypants · Mar 13, 2020

V interested to see how all the instafloggers respond to the Coronavirus issue, expecting lots of ‘support small businesses (that send us free shit)’ and ‘kindness’ posts

MarmiteExtract · Mar 13, 2020

houseofhoop said:
People who post pictures of Valentine’s Day gifts, Mother’s Day presents, personal birthday gifts...to quote @Dogmuck ..’boils my piss’ because these are personal, intimate gifts that are best kept private. MOD and FOD do this (or used to do this!) because they felt they had to prove a point... ‘look at us..see...we are happy and loving...’ just makes you look desperate love. Remember that picture/ poem thing in a frame FOD did for MOD ages ago on Valentine’s Day where he’d written out the lines of ‘oh my darling clementine’ how unoriginal. And she posted really bloody early in the day so she must of got it and already had her camera out to take a photo. He probably did it just for the gram anyway..’go on love, post it, post it now..quick.. for the likes ... and tag me in...’ Ffs, just enjoy the day!!
That’s all.
I’ve had my rant!!

My favourite was when they went for that weekend away and one of them uploaded the world’s cringiest video of Clem opening a present from Sly, think it might have been a ring or necklace. It was so staged and so awkward. It was peak MOD and FOD though, not even being able to go for a weekend away without uploading a load of nonsense.

Titfer · Mar 13, 2020

Cabbagepatch said:
Do we think this could be it? No more FOD?

That’s a thing of beauty. Bouffy hair and everything.

Hey @Titfer how about the FODFather -
Axa made him an offer he couldn’t refuse....

This is poor.... phone apps aren't as good as photoshop

Birdy60 · Mar 13, 2020

Slatternly said:
Fod must be sitting on his hands at the moment what with the possibility of being outnumbered in a quarantine situation. These are my content predictions for when he comes back.

1. A serious post about looking after ones loved ones and taking pleasure in small things during these hard times.

2. A picture of a deserted b and q which will allow for all manner of fod dancing.

3. A kitchen disco featuring the twins to while away the minutes.

4. Mother’s Day. A lovingly prepared tray to take to mod. Except she won’t feature as she’s in the attic rocking backwards and forward mumbling.

5. A serious post about intelligent, middle class ways of entertaining your middle class children. This will feature wooden board games and books.

6. Isn’t it useful to have gousto now the shops are all shut?

Have I missed any?

Sanitary products perhaps? As he's so in touch with his feminine side....

houseofhoop · Mar 13, 2020

Titfer said:
This is poor.... phone apps aren't as good as photoshop View attachment 95247

No this is FODING awesome!!!

Treeofforgiveness · Mar 13, 2020

MarmiteExtract said:
My favourite was when they went for that weekend away and one of them uploaded the world’s cringiest video of Clem opening a present from Sly, think it might have been a ring or necklace. It was so staged and so awkward. It was peak MOD and FOD though, not even being able to go for a weekend away without uploading a load of nonsense.

Oh! I remember that so well! It was so cringe worthy, she had a face on her like a slapped arse!
Wasn’t impressed with his present
Queen bee Clemmie obviously expected more of course.

frostily · Mar 13, 2020

Titfer said:
This is poor.... phone apps aren't as good as photoshop View attachment 95247

Loving your work!!

SaladDressing · Mar 13, 2020

Titfer said:
This is poor.... phone apps aren't as good as photoshop View attachment 95247

It's perfect! The face - smarmy AF!

Cabbagepatch · Mar 13, 2020

houseofhoop said:
People who post pictures of Valentine’s Day gifts, Mother’s Day presents, personal birthday gifts...to quote @Dogmuck ..’boils my piss’ because these are personal, intimate gifts that are best kept private. MOD and FOD do this (or used to do this!) because they felt they had to prove a point... ‘look at us..see...we are happy and loving...’ just makes you look desperate love. Remember that picture/ poem thing in a frame FOD did for MOD ages ago on Valentine’s Day where he’d written out the lines of ‘oh my darling clementine’ how unoriginal. And she posted really bloody early in the day so she must of got it and already had her camera out to take a photo. He probably did it just for the gram anyway..’go on love, post it, post it now..quick.. for the likes ... and tag me in...’ Ffs, just enjoy the day!!
That’s all.
I’ve had my rant!!

Many of the people that I’ve known that have posted pics of valentines, Mother’s Day gifts etc, in the past, are no longer together. Couples who post ott declarations of love too. I’ve been with my partner 22 years. Neither of us have ever felt the need to do this.

Titfer · Mar 13, 2020

Cabbagepatch said:
Many of the people that I’ve known that have posted pics of valentines, Mother’s Day gifts etc, in the past, are no longer together. Couples who post ott declarations of love too. I’ve been with my partner 22 years. Neither of us have ever felt the need to do this.

Us too, 24 years. Would feel very weird to declare my love for him on Facebook etc

Blockedbyadmin · Mar 13, 2020

Mustard said:
MoD’s mother has posted a while ago to say her mother died on 4 March, aged 98. MoD left a comment under the name winks.howard.

is this it?

Mustard · Mar 13, 2020

Blockedbyadmin said:
is this it? View attachment 95277

That is Clammie’s account.

Somerset girl · Mar 13, 2020

I'm soooo late to the party but the house of hooper (horror) account is now private as far as I can see?!

houseofhoop · Mar 13, 2020

Titfer said:
Us too, 24 years. Would feel very weird to declare my love for him on Facebook etc

Us also. 20 years and never felt the urge to post about....anything! (Except when FOD did his ridiculous ad on Saturday)

SaladDressing · Mar 13, 2020

9pm on a Friday and no post...

Mustard · Mar 13, 2020

Somerset girl said:
I'm soooo late to the party but the house of hooper (horror) account is now private as far as I can see?!

It went private after someone on here posted about it.

skronkywildcat · Mar 13, 2020

He must have some Pavlovian shit going on at 8.30pm on the nights he doesn't post. Can you imagine his twitchy insta finger going to look for likes every 3 seconds and then sadly putting the phone down when he remembers there's nothing to see.

MOD & FOD #26 Fodcliffe, it’s mee, I’m Clammie, I’ve come home, so cold, let me in you drafty Victorian window!

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