MOD & FOD #15 Now we know Slymon really is a prick, because all he’s doing is taking the mick!

[Madbadsad]

I bought a ‘mother’ T-shirt when they first came out. I was searching for a new self identity now I’d become a mum.
In those days of Instagram (4/5 years ago) I found the instamums - and Clemmie in particular inspirational. I know that seems cringe. I’m just being honest.
They were cool mums, who still had a life and a career and went out. I wanted to be like them.
And I think in those days not everything was gifted.
Slowly that started to change. It was so insidious.

To my huge embarrassment I got a leopard print Tina and Marl changing Bag after the birth of my third baby in 2016. I naively didn’t realise they’d all been #gifted them. I was hormonal and vulnerable as everyone here says.

It’s very clever, very manipulative advertising. The fact that it’s aimed at new mums seems particularly shit coming from a midwife.

It makes me feel so much better reading the truth on here and hearing I wasn’t the only sucker!

 

[Colourpop]

Hi, it's Amber from MeettheWildes here - I've been a silent reader for a while and I've learnt a great deal from Tattle generally, so I hope that you don't mind me making a rare post to share that I've apologised on Stories also (it seemed less attention/engagement-seeking than to dedicate a grid post to the matter, though I appreciate that it's not ideal that my apology has disappeared 24h after the fact). As it can't be viewed any more, I've attached it here.

In short - I made a mistake and a serious one. I do feel that the NMC should investigate clearly what Clemmie said, the context in which it was said and the broader issue of whether there is a conflict of interest between midwifery and 'influencing' but it was inappropriate of me to suggest that my following should also consider reporting her to her regulatory body. Additionally, I closed the comments - for a number of reasons that felt justified at the time, but primarily because I had previously enjoyed a whole insta lifetime of being completely uncontroversial, I didn't know how to handle my comments blowing up. They are now back on, though I do hope that I'm 'yesterday's news' because I'd really like to return to bumbling along uncontroversially.

I won't interrupt your private space again, but as I've been reading for a while there are contributors here whose sound judgement I respect and who spoke out against what I had said, I just wanted to make it clear that I heard, and that I'm sorry.

Hi Amber- I have to say I hadn’t heard of or followed you previously but obviously understand the comments etc on Tattle. I think it speaks volumes for Tattle, and of your own mindset, that you felt not only that you could learn from comments here, but felt that you could also comment yourself. I respect that you’ve taken them on board and are learning with it too- social media is “new” for every single one of us in this respect, and whilst it’s a harder path it’s so important to do better when we know better... I also personally understand how it can feel when you are suddenly on the receiving end of something that has blown up in a way that you never envisaged it would on social media. But it seems very genuine that you’ve taken time to manage it and reflect and change.
I appreciate you being here

 

[SaladDressing]

So he's posted vids of himself dancing like he's dropped an E, referred to the dog as his 'son', jumped off buildings in broad daylight quite possibly recorded by one of the daughters, shown great concern regarding mass hairband disappeance - I'm beginning to wonder whether Clammie really isn't laying low in general and that she's in fact laying low under the patio. The man has gone potty

 

[judsmum]

‘Stuff’ can be very addictive. You get one thing and you want something else. You see it with drug addicts, people addicted to plastic surgery. Even in as simple a way as having one sweet and then wanting the whole bag. This has happened to the ODs but in entirely differing ways. Clemmie wants the stuff, she wants the high end clothes and the fancy sinks, like a spoilt kid at Christmas 10 presents isn’t enough, she wants 20. Simon is addicted to attention - he’ll do all he can to get 5000 likes but when he gets it he wants 10000. Nothing is ever enough for them. He doesn’t NEED to be a big player on social media he desires to be and Clemmie didn’t NEED that house renovating - she desired it. They are needy and narcissistic and two people that are needy and narcissistic are a bad combination because the battle to be top dog is never ending. You can never be a good parent when greed and desire comes before your children and it does.

 

[Belleeyes]

It says more about the people buying all the crap than the people selling it

Sorry?

No I disagree. It says a lot if the sellers are taking advantage of postpartum women. A lot of us were sucked in and felt that these items etc would mean we would be good mums/we would be on top of the house etc.

If you take advantage of a vulnerable group whilst pretending to advocate for them then you are a class A bellend IMHO.

 

[Upsidedown]

I think I actually like her more now. Slagging off her mates behind their back out of sheer frustration is the most relatable thing she's done for a long long time.

 

[judsmum]

Christ that list is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read! ‘Who knew there was a life outside of London’ - erm probably everyone who doesn’t live in London! She makes it sound like the rest of us live in the medieval times. Cosmopolitan Clemster wants to come to my small Barnsley ex-mining town, she’d think she’d arrived in the year 1520.

 

[GreyWolf]

Also looking at that house before, what a pair of fucking twats. The previous owner bought it for £300000. They renovated it and sold it for £700000 to our greedy friends. They thankfully made a huge profit out of these idiots as it must have been heartbreaking to watch them destroy all that lovely work and beautifully sourced additions to the house. It’s a house I would’ve envied. And then in comes Mrs Gifted Reno. With her penchant for dark and tat and germolene. And she redecorates (sorry renovates) the freshly renovated house. Lucky it was gifted as she’s not added £300000 to it surely.
Although the zen room will be a real bonus. As will the chavvy ‘girls’ bathroom.
Oh they get on my tits. What a silly woman wasting all that time, money and materials on an already beautiful house because she is so bloody greedy.

 

[SaladDressing]

Fod West

He posts for his fans, the comments he's checking, but where is Clemmie? She's under the decking

 

[CyanideKiss]

I wasn't sucked in by the rug, but I was most definitely influenced to have our en suite painted a very dark green, almost black. It looks properly shit and our teens refer to it as 'the dungeon'.

 

[Affiliatemebaby]

He's a 'fucking rubber nobhead' who clearly put a lot of effort into this latest post and has plenty time on his hands to make these one man sketch shows!

I stand by my theory that Clammie is under the decking (posher than patio innit?)

The claims in that magazine article about her "being in a dark place" (decking? ) and his "how are you/are you okay" (whatever phrase it was) do not surprise me at all as both lean heavily towards mental health which is always a pull on the heart strings.....

I work on a Child & Adolescent Mental Health inpatient ward - shame neither of their postings consider that particular age group..... Self-righteous, attention seeking fools.

As someone who has been inside one of those as a parent, thank you for your work.

But no, NONE of this everlasting mental health shit ever seems to scratch beneath the surface of feeling down and needing to chat over a cuppa. (Alcohol of course being a depressant but Prosecco Mum culture won’t address that.)

I’ve been affected in many ways in my life by genuine mental health conditions that my family and I have experienced. Never does #itsOKtonotbeOK venture into how easy it is to alienate all the friends who might provide an ear or shoulder and how profound mental illness is downright, lifewreckingly not fucking OK; how #tellsomeone is a bit pointless when all NHS and local authority services are cut to the bone and CAMHS is prioritising on how physically damaging a teen’s suicide attempt actually was; how isolating mental health problems really are, and how they are taking advantage of that.

It feels so very shit on ‘awareness raising days’ to see social media full of empty cliches and fashionable slogans. Properly painfully shit.

Feeling miserable, anxious and upset because life is throwing crap at you is normal and understandable. I’m sure MOD has felt dreadful recently. I’m sure FOD isn’t on top form. But don’t jump on the bandwagon.

And while I’m at it, ‘are you OK?’ is a nice thing. But it takes a huge amount more than that to resolve a mental health crisis.

 

[Emmadale]

You can make a Rave thread for people you like.

Still newish to Tattle....presuming that’s where you can say nice things about people? I’ll have a look. I’ve only let myself follow the modfod thread as I lose too much time on here as it is.

Me again. Just chatting to a friend at work about tattle and the Modfod drama as she’d seen it in the press. Her close friend runs a business (won’t say what in as don’t want to out her) but said when MOD was doing a certain bit of the ‘reno’ she called her up and said “I’m doing this....what can you send me? I’ll tag you in stories”
MOD obvs didn’t say it in stories like that but said she’d been gifted and mentioned the company name. Just so grabby!

 

[judsmum]

As I recall didn’t CT have another midwife who actually attended the labour and Clemmie turned up five minutes before the photo opportun... sorry the birth?

 

[JustHereForTheDrama1000]

I love this!

 

[Itsallaboutmememe]

Many many moons ago I had my 1st baby (went on to have 5 more)
I was young,skint and vulnerable
I honestly think if the (grabby) instamums has been around when I squeezed first child out I would have crashed and burned
No way did I have the time/money/energy to live up to the ‘buy this and you’ll be a fantastic mum but if you don’t your baby will grow up and murder someone’ hype
Thankfully I had an amazing dad who told me to trawl every charity shop I could find to buy her stuff-and I bought very little and second hand good quality stuff (dad pointed out kids are tiny for a matter of weeks so most baby stuff is almost new by the time they are done with it)
(I could barely afford nappies let alone a 4K sink for her bathroom-we had one bathroom that we shared)
I did the same with her siblings
And none of them have grown up and ended up in the papers for any crime
They are all hard workers and very happy I didn’t sell their souls for stuff they didn’t need
That for many people is real life
And no matter how much money people do or don’t have no child deserves to have their childhood online for ‘likes’ or freebies

 

[judsmum]

I once read something by a hotelier saying how fed up they were with influencers calling them and asking for a free night’s stay in return for a review.

I read that! It was an hotel in Ireland and relatively well known YouTuber rang to ask for a free stay in return for a review. The bloke refused stating his excellent reviews from paying customers was more than adequate. She proper slated him and his hotel so he slated her back and all the others like her! It was ace!

 

[frustrated]

I think most people have been there, and theres a vulnerability about being a new mum which is why they target them. I can't say I've been influenced to buy via Instagram to buy big things but I can see how people have. Sitting up at 2am wondering if a sleepy head will get you a bit more sleep. Having a colicky baby who screams most of the evening and wondering if 'that' bottle will cure it. Feeling shit about yourself and thinking someone looks great in that £40 sweatshirt so wondering if it would make you look great too. A lot of new mums will try anything to make their life easier whether its hinch's ebay caddy or a cybex car seat. The vulnerability stretches into you don't want to feel like your baby doesn't have the best of the best, so £1000 on a credit card for a pram. Someones using childs farm 'and it really is the best!' so you feel like your child should have this miracle bubble bath. It goes on and on. If you've got PND or post natal anxiety alongside it it can be magnified.

So I don't think anyone should be ashamed. The influencing is ruthless and reaches people 24hrs a day, theres no escape and why it works so well. The people shoving it down our throats should feel ashamed, but they would rather make 5p from your swipe up for something that is useless/ unsafe/ will break in a week than care about how you feel.

Totally agree with this. And when the line gets blurred and you're being influenced by a MIDWIFE (who you would therefore naturally assume has a new mum's best interests at heart) the waters become so muddied and murky. It doesn't seem ethical to me at all.

 

[Tothemoonandback]

I think I can trump the La R rug, ‘scamp & dude’ jumpers and ‘Tiba & Marl’ clobber .....

I bought those pointless “Yes mum” cards

 

[Pommes]

Kate lawlers reply to all the comments re MOD

That is the best (read: “only”) defence I have seen for MOD. Really well balanced reply. Not hiding from the mistake but keeping it in proportion. The only bit I’d disagree with is “hugely experienced midwife” which MOD arguably isn’t (three sets of maternity leave in 10 years of employment, part time after first babies, followed by one day a week after twins).

 

[Loulou de la Falaise]

I've rambled but what I think I am saying is that insta is nowhere near regulated enough. It is pure manipulation and the sooner the tide turns the better.

Wholeheartedly agree. I absolutely detest all the underhanded shilling that’s been going on and am so pleased it’s all coming out in the wash now.

I confess I was ‘influenced’ to buy a MOTHER T-shirt back in the day, it was more than I would ever usually spend on a t-shirt but as it was to raise funds for female survivors of war and more importantly, I knew I was being advertised to. HOWEVER, the quality was poor. It lost shape quickly, holes appeared, I felt like a nit. And I’ve never been so glad to be too poor to be influenced ever since

The genuine businesses, hawking stuff, is fine. it’s obvious. What I object to are these accounts, the meteoric rise of the relatable instamum flogging what is for most, an unrealistic and ultimately unattainable lifestyle; seeming to genuinely recommend all this stuff they JUST LOVE and if you SWIPE UP and buy it all, then you can be in their fabulous club too...

God the thought of all those new mums, scrolling in the small hours, exhausted, in the dark with a crying baby, lonely, struggling, desperate for help... and then in slithers a relatable instamum, “hey. I see you. You’re not alone. This is hard. I know what you’re going through. But we’re in this together. You can do it! See how I have everything under control? See my perfect life? You can have it all too! Just like me! You know what would help? This mediocre over-priced change bag. This one-size-fits-all makeup. This ludicrously prices candle. These boots. This baby snuggle thing. BUY THEM ALL.... (let’s just skip the part when I was give all this stuff for free and I would never have bought it myself, babe)”

They’re disgusting, underhanded, devious, greedy, parasites. And I for one am glad MOD has blown the lid off this whole thing, even further.