Missing Blogger Esther Dingley

[Johara]

I take you’re well qualified in this field?

No. This is my opinion.
I've studied Psychology but I base my thoughts more on what I've read/listened to from real life experts who speak & write about covert narcissists.

I added a disclaimer to my earlier post today that this is my opinion, these are my observations.

(I just exited a Tattle code swamp as I somehow - trying to quote and reply - gathered 4 days of Tattle posts and images into my reply box and had to delete every single word & image to clear the reply box. Thus the delayed reply. )

 

[Tilly3]

I find things like this really interesting, I don’t have any experience other than watching Faking It ha ha!! I love watching people’s body language but I really didn’t see anything in that clip to alarm me, maybe I should watch it again based on what you say.
If he has said all these things in his book then surely he will know he’s the prime suspect, would he really harm her knowing the finger will be pointed at him based on what he has said?
Also, she looked really happy on that last photo, didn’t look like a woman who was unhappy or was planning on disappearing into oblivion. Just my opinion.

 

[Johara]

I take you’re well qualified in this field?

Tilly just to give you context, this is what sent me into covert narcissist territory.

He writes in his book (sells on Amazon, June 2020) that they cancelled their wedding 7 years ago because:

“What was supposed to be a chance to rediscover our love of one another did, at times, seem to have transformed into a festering pit of mutual loathing”.

And

“It was around this time that any last traces of romance slipped away from us. We clung on to the belief that we still loved each other, but beneath all the animosity, it was hard.”

Imagine how she felt?

Imagine your boyfriend wrote about your relationship like this?

For the world to read.

1. It's cruel.
2. Why bother continuing 7 years later?
3. Your boyfriend could say perhaps we realised we weren't equipped to be life partners.
4. A normal boyfriend wouldn't use words like loathing about you. It's almost worse than hate.

* not adding the link to The Times article that I did back on p 3 as it seemed to copy all Tattle posts for days. See p 3 of this thread for the link where his book excerpts were published.

I find things like this really interesting, I don’t have any experience other than watching Faking It ha ha!! I love watching people’s body language but I really didn’t see anything in that clip to alarm me, maybe I should watch it again based on what you say.
If he has said all these things in his book then surely he will know he’s the prime suspect, would he really harm her knowing the finger will be pointed at him based on what he has said?
Also, she looked really happy on that last photo, didn’t look like a woman who was unhappy or was planning on disappearing into oblivion. Just my opinion.

Tilly if I hadn't read what he wrote I may not have observed him in a new way.

I think my jaw dropped a bit when I read it.

These personality disorders are no joke. One could say that they think they are normal and so they do things that shock us but they don't realise it.

The key sign is lack of empathy for others.

Unfortunately - in my opinion based on the revelations in his book and his words - we have here a sweet lady who does her best to please him.

A lady whose self esteem has been so eroded that she puts on a smile to cover heartache and runs off to the mountains to get away when she can.

June 2020 when he published that hateful book must have been crushing for her.

 

[Tilly3]

Tilly just to give you context, this is what sent me into covert narcissist territory.

He writes in his book (sells on Amazon, June 2020) that they cancelled their wedding 7 years ago because:

“What was supposed to be a chance to rediscover our love of one another did, at times, seem to have transformed into a festering pit of mutual loathing”.

And

“It was around this time that any last traces of romance slipped away from us. We clung on to the belief that we still loved each other, but beneath all the animosity, it was hard.”

Imagine how she felt?

Imagine your boyfriend wrote about your relationship like this?

For the world to read.

1. It's cruel.
2. Why bother continuing 7 years later?
3. Your boyfriend could say perhaps we realised we weren't equipped to be life partners.
4. A normal boyfriend wouldn't use words like loathing about you. It's almost worse than hate.

* not adding the link to The Times article that I did back on p 3 as it seemed to copy all Tattle posts for days. See p 3 of this thread for the link where his book excerpts were published.



Tilly if I hadn't read what he wrote I may not have observed him in a new way.

I think my jaw dropped a bit when I read it.

These personality disorders are no joke. One could say that they think they are normal and so they do things that shock us but they don't realise it.

The key sign is lack of empathy for others.

Unfortunately - in my opinion based on the revelations in his book and his words - we have here a sweet lady who does her best to please him.

A lady whose self esteem has been so eroded that she puts on a smile to cover heartache and runs off to the mountains to get away when she can.

June 2020 when he published that hateful book must have been crushing for her.

Thanks for that @Johara, I get where you’re coming from, but if he is behind her disappearance/death then he’s just signed his own death warrant.
Let’s hope he hasnt managed to cover all his tracks.

 

[kazizzle]

I’m fascinated by this case after finding this thread yesterday. Ive been lost in a websleuths hole all day today reading the full thread on there for it
I really hope she’s ok somewhere and has voluntarily gone off the trail and is avoiding being found as I really dont want her to have come to any harm - either from a fall or from someone else. Sadly experienced hikers regularly have accidents or go missing in the hills

 

[Tilly3]

I’m fascinated by this case after finding this thread yesterday. Ive been lost in a websleuths hole all day today reading the full thread on there for it

It’s a strange one isn’t it!

 

[Johara]

In that joint video above I can see almost a pleading look in her eyes. Her smile distracts but she wants and hopes to win his love back.

In my opinion this is the classic crushed, meek codependent with the emotionally void narcissist.

The very first red flag I saw was his Facebook post when he told everyone she'd gone missing.

He wrote about her as "the person who taught me how to feel."

I'm sorry. Nobody teaches us how to feel. We either feel or have no feelings.*

Narcs are emotionally vacant ito love.
They feel anger, happiness, desire or lust etc but due to a lack of object constancy they don't feel the love bond. There's no loyalty or bond. People are just useful or not. Pleasing or not.

* Just realised I should clarify: researchers say narcs use movies, novels and song lyrics to literally teach themselves how love is supposed to be. They don't feel it organically so they use Hollywood or books to learn how they should behave/what's expected socially.

 

[kazizzle]

It’s a strange one isn’t it!

Definitely. I do a lot of walking here in Scotland with my partner and would really love to try some of the trails and hikes in Europe that Esther and Dan have done so I think that’s why i find it extra interesting!

 

[Tilly3]

Definitely. I do a lot of walking here in Scotland with my partner and would really love to try some of the trails and hikes in Europe that Esther and Dan have done so I think that’s why i find it extra interesting!

Just don’t go on your own

 

[Johara]

Thanks for that @Johara, I get where you’re coming from, but if he is behind her disappearance/death then he’s just signed his own death warrant.
Let’s hope he hasnt managed to cover all his tracks.

Yes. And let's hope!

 

[Tilly3]

In that joint video above I can see almost a pleading look in her eyes. Her smile distracts but she wants and hopes to win his love back.

In my opinion this is the classic crushed, meek codependent with the emotionally void narcissist.

The very first red flag I saw was his Facebook post when he told everyone she'd gone missing.

He wrote about her as "the person who taught me how to feel."

I'm sorry. Nobody teaches us how to feel. We either feel or have no feelings.

Narcs are emotionally vacant ito love.
They feel anger, happiness, desire or lust etc but due to a lack of object constancy they don't feel the love bond. There's no loyalty or bond. People are just useful or not. Pleasing or not.

We can only watch and wait.

 

[thegirlscout]

In that joint video above I can see almost a pleading look in her eyes. Her smile distracts but she wants and hopes to win his love back.

In my opinion this is the classic crushed, meek codependent with the emotionally void narcissist.

The very first red flag I saw was his Facebook post when he told everyone she'd gone missing.

He wrote about her as "the person who taught me how to feel."

I'm sorry. Nobody teaches us how to feel. We either feel or have no feelings.*

Narcs are emotionally vacant ito love.
They feel anger, happiness, desire or lust etc but due to a lack of object constancy they don't feel the love bond. There's no loyalty or bond. People are just useful or not. Pleasing or not.

* Just realised I should clarify: researchers say narcs use movies, novels and song lyrics to literally teach themselves how love is supposed to be. They don't feel it organically so they use Hollywood or books to learn how they should behave/what's expected socially.

I don’t know, I think you’re potentially looking to find things to confirm your bias? I really don’t see a pleading look in her eyes. Plus when he said she taught him how to feel it could mean she taught him how to understand what he was feeling and name his emotions.

 

[Johara]

I don’t know, I think you’re potentially looking to find things to confirm your bias? I really don’t see a pleading look in her eyes. Plus when he said she taught him how to feel it could mean she taught him how to understand what he was feeling and name his emotions.

I played it again to check my impressions. It's after she says "and because I got to meet Dan!" And he closes his eyes as if to shut something out and says "we got to meet and whadda whadda trivia". Watch again and you'll see her smile dying slowly.

Pleading may not be the right word. Hurt is.

Reminds me of Charles saying "Whatever love is/means" and Diana covering up her hurt with a quip.

-----

On the taught me how to feel thing he is a writer. I've read his poems etc on his instagram.
Yes he identifies his emotions so you could be right. He could mean that.

The other possibility is that as a writer he means what he wrote. He means that he was numb before and she taught him how to feel.

On the confirmation bias thing, I find it weird how at university our essays had to make a case and hammer it home. That's considered an excellent essay in academia.

Lawyers do this all the time. It's how court cases are won.

Yet today it's trendy to say let's do the opposite.

Analytical thinking demands a conclusion. A writer researches, reaches a conclusion and then begins writing the article.

I think we'll have to differ about confirmation bias.

 

[petitspois]

Thanks for that @Johara, I get where you’re coming from, but if he is behind her disappearance/death then he’s just signed his own death warrant.
Let’s hope he hasnt managed to cover all his tracks.

Sorry to lower the tone but I was reading an article where he talks about literally shitting himself frequently due to his bowel condition. I presume he’s still suffering from this. Doesn’t fit well with covering his tracks really.

 

[JoanieDee]

After reading through this thread I did a bit of research and found they had a YouTube channel. This video is quite chilling considering what has happened. I hope she’s ok.

 

[Bettyboo2475]

After reading through this thread I did a bit of research and found they had a YouTube channel. This video is quite chilling considering what has happened. I hope she’s ok.

Oh my god. The way he dominated everything. She couldn't get a word in. I hope she has escaped. Poor girl.

 

[petitspois]

If he has done something and thinks he is so intelligent he can 'get away with it' then he's mistaken. They always are aren't they?

 

[Bettyboo2475]

I wonder if because she mentions in her Instagram post she's met another hiker, a man, if this has triggered something. Thing is shes 3 hours away isnt she?

 

[Johara]

[/QUOTE]

After reading through this thread I did a bit of research and found they had a YouTube channel. This video is quite chilling considering what has happened. I hope she’s ok.

Great find. And revealing.

I wonder if because she mentions in her Instagram post she's met another hiker, a man, if this has triggered something. Thing is shes 3 hours away isnt she?

Like an Oscar Pistorius scenario possibly. Both men with birth defects and controlling personalities.

Oh my god. The way he dominated everything. She couldn't get a word in. I hope she has escaped. Poor girl.

Exactly. Her natural personality is not submissive but here we see her being dominated.

 

[toffeejelly]

I worry that there’s no new stories now it’s all gone quiet ... like one of them cases that are just never solved and no answers I feel like she’s a lovely person an would love her to be found safe and alive

And the fact the husband didn’t raise the alarm till after six days.... what could he get done in six days? That’s what I’m thinking but I am judging a man I don’t know so could be way off

There's an update on the Facebook page, from the mum and Dan.