Miscarriage/Baby Loss

[JLXRD]

My MVA after a MMC was 3 weeks ago and I’m STILL seeing a positive, so feel like my period will never come. But of course my husband can’t see it! Is there a line?!

There is definitely still a line there, maybe call your doctors if it’s not gone soon as there is a chance they might need to do more for you.

I have the opposite situation to you guys where my husband wants to try again ASAP but I just can’t put myself through this again. 2 chemicals in 3 months has been a lot for me, I just can’t see it ending well ever and I can’t go through it again so soon. I feel so guilty but I just can’t. It like I want to put this whole chapter in a box and not open the box again u til I can cope.

 

[begaphobia]

I’m exactly the same as you, I just want my period to come so we can try again, my husband wants to wait…which is easy for him, he has a child already. We just have to keep hoping we’ll get our babies one day.

My MVA after a MMC was 3 weeks ago and I’m STILL seeing a positive, so feel like my period will never come. But of course my husband can’t see it! Is there a line?!

I can still see a line. Did you have a scan to check whether everything had passed (sorry to ask) I had a faint positive until 3 weeks 2 days after my MC, then it went negative. I then took my period 3 weeks after that. It’s just over so not sure if my cycles are back to normal. It’s all such a hard waiting game.

There is definitely still a line there, maybe call your doctors if it’s not gone soon as there is a chance they might need to do more for you.

I have the opposite situation to you guys where my husband wants to try again ASAP but I just can’t put myself through this again. 2 chemicals in 3 months has been a lot for me, I just can’t see it ending well ever and I can’t go through it again so soon. I feel so guilty but I just can’t. It like I want to put this whole chapter in a box and not open the box again u til I can cope.

I’m the exact same as you @JLXRD - my hubby wants to try again and I just want a break from it all and maybe try in the new year. I took my first OPK this morning and was just so disheartened and thought I can’t believe I have to do all this again. Our entire families know about our MC and I almost wish I kept it to myself as I know they’re all waiting on me getting pregnant again, despite me saying we’re waiting a while. The pressure is all just awful. I just want to go to a desert island for a few months. Hope you’re keeping ok x

 

[Gossipgirl79]

Thanks all, I knew there was a line!! I rang them last week because they told me do a test after 2 weeks. They scanned AS they did the MVA so they could see they were getting it all (this is so awful to describe, so sorry if I’m upsetting anyone) and said it’s common to still be positive and my next period will clear everything…but I’m worried I won’t get a period if my hcg levels are still apparent. I’ll maybe ring again today.

 

[Shivla]

hi, I got my first negative just over 5 weeks after my miscarraige. Still waiting for my period x
Morning all. I

Thanks all, I knew there was a line!! I rang them last week because they told me do a test after 2 weeks. They scanned AS they did the MVA so they could see they were getting it all (this is so awful to describe, so sorry if I’m upsetting anyone) and said it’s common to still be positive and my next period will clear everything…but I’m worried I won’t get a period if my hcg levels are still apparent. I’ll maybe ring again today.

 

[begaphobia]

Thanks all, I knew there was a line!! I rang them last week because they told me do a test after 2 weeks. They scanned AS they did the MVA so they could see they were getting it all (this is so awful to describe, so sorry if I’m upsetting anyone) and said it’s common to still be positive and my next period will clear everything…but I’m worried I won’t get a period if my hcg levels are still apparent. I’ll maybe ring again today.

You will get a period - unfortunately it can take anything from 4-8 weeks typically. I actually got confused, and took a test 2 weeks after my MC but they meant for me to take one 2 weeks after I stopped bleeding. Just if that helps? X

 

[fishsticks]

I had the worst fight I ever had with Mr Banana last week because I was just so overcome with rage at how he just can’t get how I feel. He wants to start TTC-ing in the new year to give us a break to recover from my MC, but I am struggling and I just want to start trying again.

I got so angry because I just thought how dare you, I’m the one that had to go through this and lose my baby, and bleed, and go through all the awful tests again and again.

I also lost my temper at work because I just feel so resentful being stuck in my job to get my mat leave and I don’t know if I’ll even get to take it while people I’m managing are moving above me.

I know anger is part of grieving but I just feel so angry at the world because I feel like it expects me to just move on and forget because I may have another baby one day.

This was me!!!

I'm a huge people pleaser. Without sounding like a dork, always got top comments on appraisals etc. Had my early miscarriage in June, mid year review was late in the September to be told they've seen a dip in my performance. Well, I hit the roof. Anger, rage, then I cried. I haven't told them what happened in June. I don't feel like they deserve to know after how the spoke to me in September.

I might have been snappier or shorter with colleagues, but my performance definitely didn't drop bcus I threw myself into my work as a distraction.

However, it's made me realise that there are more important things in life that top comments, etc. I'm literally only staying where I am bcus of mat leave even though its absolutely pants. 90% for 6 weeks.

All these feelings are so valid. You're never going to just forget, I know I never will. Particularly when your rainbow arrives. It reminds you of how much you've been through.

 

[FoksiOska]

Anyone else feel like everyone around them is getting pregnant? this sounds awful and I'm genuinely happy for them, but a few friends have recently announced they're pregnant with their second and all I can think about is that I just want my first..
What should have been my due date is coming up too which makes it harder.

 

[flutternutter]

Anyone else feel like everyone around them is getting pregnant? this sounds awful and I'm genuinely happy for them, but a few friends have recently announced they're pregnant with their second and all I can think about is that I just want my first..
What should have been my due date is coming up too which makes it harder.

Yup. Just past my due date with 3rd loss and honestly it hurts so much more than i expected.
We have struggled for years to get pregnant and after 2 losses i thought that was it.
Maybe i would feel differently if i could get pregnant easily but every time its as if my body clings onto it and it takes longer to pass.

Oddly just reading through the posts, they've never offered me surgical. They mentioned if i gey up to x weeks without passing i would get it but never got there. Always lost under 9 weeks if that makes a difference?

Anyway i have 2 more goes then thats it. Shops closed. We are applying to become adoptive parents and as part of this we need to close that chapter and devote ourselves to hopefully our adoptive child/children.

Im not gonna lie, i am TERRIFIED of getting pregnant before the years out. Because 3/3 times its gone wrong, and they wont proceed with our application so soon after a loss. But i felt like i needed to say 1 (or 2) last chances. I just cross my fingers whatever the best outcome for us is what happens.

 

[Heyguysswipeup]

Hey ladies, unfortunately I’m joining this thread as I had an early mc last week and was fully confirmed today by the dr after having my bloods done. I’m desperate to be pregnant again but know that any positive test I get in the future will be tinged after what has happened, I don’t think I’d be able to enjoy being pregnant at all knowing how quick things can change. I really hope I am pregnant again before Christmas as I would have been 12 weeks on Christmas Day if this one had been successful don’t really think there’s much point to this post, I just wanted to get my thoughts out there. I read through the whole thread last night and just wanted to say what a lovely group of supportive ladies you are

 

[begaphobia]

Hey ladies, unfortunately I’m joining this thread as I had an early mc last week and was fully confirmed today by the dr after having my bloods done. I’m desperate to be pregnant again but know that any positive test I get in the future will be tinged after what has happened, I don’t think I’d be able to enjoy being pregnant at all knowing how quick things can change. I really hope I am pregnant again before Christmas as I would have been 12 weeks on Christmas Day if this one had been successful don’t really think there’s much point to this post, I just wanted to get my thoughts out there. I read through the whole thread last night and just wanted to say what a lovely group of supportive ladies you are

So sorry you’ve found yourself here. Hope you’re looking after yourself xx

 

[Twinklestar]

@Heyguysswipeup I’m so sorry for your loss darling xx I would’ve been 16 weeks at Christmas so I really get where you’re coming from.
I had a D&C yesterday and am now waiting to get back into the swing of my cycle. I’m taking myo-inositol to help regulate my cycle as like you I’m hoping to be pregnant again by Christmas. Let’s hope we get our special wish but let’s also be kind to ourselves too if it doesn’t go how we hope xx

 

[nurseren]

Hello. I use to be smallpotato, and now I’m nurseren. My daughter was born sleeping at 24 weeks, and that was 6 weeks ago. She had a hole in her heart and a really rare chromosome disorder, and after I had a big bleed, she passed away.

I take each day as it comes. Some days I’m okay. Today I was not. I have a 4 yr old, and I walk him to school everyday. Everyday I see a mum who was on the page of our local newspaper as her baby stopped breathing and she had to wait for 999. Everyday she smokes over this baby and shouts at her 4yr old. I don’t know whether it’s anger, envy, jealously… but today I snapped. I came home and sobbed so much that I ended up sleeping the day away.

Most days I want to die. I truly believe that I have no place on this earth anymore. My husband can find someone better, plus I have medical conditions so my life is insured. He would be okay. The only reason I haven’t killed myself is because of my son. He is giving me the purpose to live.

Im having lots of therapy due to the trauma of this pregnancy. Each week I was told whether she was going to live or die, or whether I needed intervention. In the end, she decided herself.

I do OPK everyday to track my cycle. My period was last week and it was so bad that I ruined so many pairs of underwear and leggings. Im not ovulating yet. If you asked me a few weeks ago if I wanted another baby I would have said yes. Now I’m not sure I can go through the trauma of pregnancy again, and I’m not sure I’m a good mum for a baby.

I’m sorry to post this. Other than therapy, I have no other place.

I’ve had so much trauma this year. I’ve worked in covid ICU since 2020. My brother in law was arrested for a really serious crime. I broke my leg. Then my daughter died.

 

[flutternutter]

Hello. I use to be smallpotato, and now I’m nurseren. My daughter was born sleeping at 24 weeks, and that was 6 weeks ago. She had a hole in her heart and a really rare chromosome disorder, and after I had a big bleed, she passed away.

I take each day as it comes. Some days I’m okay. Today I was not. I have a 4 yr old, and I walk him to school everyday. Everyday I see a mum who was on the page of our local newspaper as her baby stopped breathing and she had to wait for 999. Everyday she smokes over this baby and shouts at her 4yr old. I don’t know whether it’s anger, envy, jealously… but today I snapped. I came home and sobbed so much that I ended up sleeping the day away.

Most days I want to die. I truly believe that I have no place on this earth anymore. My husband can find someone better, plus I have medical conditions so my life is insured. He would be okay. The only reason I haven’t killed myself is because of my son. He is giving me the purpose to live.

Im having lots of therapy due to the trauma of this pregnancy. Each week I was told whether she was going to live or die, or whether I needed intervention. In the end, she decided herself.

I do OPK everyday to track my cycle. My period was last week and it was so bad that I ruined so many pairs of underwear and leggings. Im not ovulating yet. If you asked me a few weeks ago if I wanted another baby I would have said yes. Now I’m not sure I can go through the trauma of pregnancy again, and I’m not sure I’m a good mum for a baby.

I’m sorry to post this. Other than therapy, I have no other place.

I’ve had so much trauma this year. I’ve worked in covid ICU since 2020. My brother in law was arrested for a really serious crime. I broke my leg. Then my daughter died.

Im so sorry. I wish I could say anything that would make it better. What youve been through is utterly tit! I hope you feel a bit better for getting it off your chest. Going to counselling really helped me to be able to tell someone how I felt without judgement

 

[TinyDancer2602]

Small Potato… I am so so sorry to read your post. You have been through a truly awful time. There are no words. Please reach out to someone. I know it is so dark right now but there will be a dawn. Be kind to yourself. One day at a time. Much love

 

[nurseren]

Im so sorry. I wish I could say anything that would make it better. What youve been through is utterly tit! I hope you feel a bit better for getting it off your chest. Going to counselling really helped me to be able to tell someone how I felt without judgement

I sat in therapy last week and I was like, then this happened and then this happened, and then this… it was like a joke! One tit joke. I’ve decide that I want to be selfish for the first time in my life.

 

[instagramloverinlondon]

Hello. I use to be smallpotato, and now I’m nurseren. My daughter was born sleeping at 24 weeks, and that was 6 weeks ago. She had a hole in her heart and a really rare chromosome disorder, and after I had a big bleed, she passed away.

I take each day as it comes. Some days I’m okay. Today I was not. I have a 4 yr old, and I walk him to school everyday. Everyday I see a mum who was on the page of our local newspaper as her baby stopped breathing and she had to wait for 999. Everyday she smokes over this baby and shouts at her 4yr old. I don’t know whether it’s anger, envy, jealously… but today I snapped. I came home and sobbed so much that I ended up sleeping the day away.

Most days I want to die. I truly believe that I have no place on this earth anymore. My husband can find someone better, plus I have medical conditions so my life is insured. He would be okay. The only reason I haven’t killed myself is because of my son. He is giving me the purpose to live.

Im having lots of therapy due to the trauma of this pregnancy. Each week I was told whether she was going to live or die, or whether I needed intervention. In the end, she decided herself.

I do OPK everyday to track my cycle. My period was last week and it was so bad that I ruined so many pairs of underwear and leggings. Im not ovulating yet. If you asked me a few weeks ago if I wanted another baby I would have said yes. Now I’m not sure I can go through the trauma of pregnancy again, and I’m not sure I’m a good mum for a baby.

I’m sorry to post this. Other than therapy, I have no other place.

I’ve had so much trauma this year. I’ve worked in covid ICU since 2020. My brother in law was arrested for a really serious crime. I broke my leg. Then my daughter died.

Oh my goodness, I am so so so sorry t

Hello. I use to be smallpotato, and now I’m nurseren. My daughter was born sleeping at 24 weeks, and that was 6 weeks ago. She had a hole in her heart and a really rare chromosome disorder, and after I had a big bleed, she passed away.

I take each day as it comes. Some days I’m okay. Today I was not. I have a 4 yr old, and I walk him to school everyday. Everyday I see a mum who was on the page of our local newspaper as her baby stopped breathing and she had to wait for 999. Everyday she smokes over this baby and shouts at her 4yr old. I don’t know whether it’s anger, envy, jealously… but today I snapped. I came home and sobbed so much that I ended up sleeping the day away.

Most days I want to die. I truly believe that I have no place on this earth anymore. My husband can find someone better, plus I have medical conditions so my life is insured. He would be okay. The only reason I haven’t killed myself is because of my son. He is giving me the purpose to live.

Im having lots of therapy due to the trauma of this pregnancy. Each week I was told whether she was going to live or die, or whether I needed intervention. In the end, she decided herself.

I do OPK everyday to track my cycle. My period was last week and it was so bad that I ruined so many pairs of underwear and leggings. Im not ovulating yet. If you asked me a few weeks ago if I wanted another baby I would have said yes. Now I’m not sure I can go through the trauma of pregnancy again, and I’m not sure I’m a good mum for a baby.

I’m sorry to post this. Other than therapy, I have no other place.

I’ve had so much trauma this year. I’ve worked in covid ICU since 2020. My brother in law was arrested for a really serious crime. I broke my leg. Then my daughter died.

Oh my goodness, I am so truly sorry for the loss of your daughter, my heart hurts for you. What a truly horrific time you've been through. You're so brave even talking so openly about everything and how you're feeling. Keep talking, to whoever you need to and be kind to yourself. Sending so much love small potato xxxx

 

[nurseren]

Small Potato… I am so so sorry to read your post. You have been through a truly awful time. There are no words. Please reach out to someone. I know it is so dark right now but there will be a dawn. Be kind to yourself. One day at a time. Much love

Some days I feel great. It’s all gone downhill after seeing smoking mum, and it’s been the funeral. I’m Jewish we don’t do funerals. Also I’m absolutely mental and I’d not coped with the funeral. Husband went, but now MIL isn’t talking to me for not support him.

I try and look for sunshine. My son is absolutely incredible and I love him. My purpose is making his pack ups, giving him a bath and loving him as much as I can.

 

[calmyourritas]

Hello. I use to be smallpotato, and now I’m nurseren. My daughter was born sleeping at 24 weeks, and that was 6 weeks ago. She had a hole in her heart and a really rare chromosome disorder, and after I had a big bleed, she passed away.

I take each day as it comes. Some days I’m okay. Today I was not. I have a 4 yr old, and I walk him to school everyday. Everyday I see a mum who was on the page of our local newspaper as her baby stopped breathing and she had to wait for 999. Everyday she smokes over this baby and shouts at her 4yr old. I don’t know whether it’s anger, envy, jealously… but today I snapped. I came home and sobbed so much that I ended up sleeping the day away.

Most days I want to die. I truly believe that I have no place on this earth anymore. My husband can find someone better, plus I have medical conditions so my life is insured. He would be okay. The only reason I haven’t killed myself is because of my son. He is giving me the purpose to live.

Im having lots of therapy due to the trauma of this pregnancy. Each week I was told whether she was going to live or die, or whether I needed intervention. In the end, she decided herself.

I do OPK everyday to track my cycle. My period was last week and it was so bad that I ruined so many pairs of underwear and leggings. Im not ovulating yet. If you asked me a few weeks ago if I wanted another baby I would have said yes. Now I’m not sure I can go through the trauma of pregnancy again, and I’m not sure I’m a good mum for a baby.

I’m sorry to post this. Other than therapy, I have no other place.

I’ve had so much trauma this year. I’ve worked in covid ICU since 2020. My brother in law was arrested for a really serious crime. I broke my leg. Then my daughter died.

I have not stopped thinking about you Small Potato 🤍🤍 my heart aches for you and I wish there was something I could say that would take just an ounce of the pain away. Just know that we are all here for you

 

[nurseren]

Oh my goodness, I am so so so sorry t

Oh my goodness, I am so truly sorry for the loss of your daughter, my heart hurts for you. What a truly horrific time you've been through. You're so brave even talking so openly about everything and how you're feeling. Keep talking, to whoever you need to and be kind to yourself. Sending so much love small potato xxxx

I’m not brave at all, haha. Last week I sat and admitted to my therapist that I had a plan and wrote letters, but can’t leave my boy. Her, my husband, and you guys now are the only ones I’ve told this too.

I am grieving for all the lost plans that I had with her. I’m grieving on saying her name out loud. I bought a baby grow with little sister on and I swear it’s presence in the loft is so loud that I can barely sleep. I’m grieving that I won’t be able to dress her in my vintage doc martens that my dad kept. I’m grieving that I won’t be able to put her cheek on mine like I do with little potato now.

I have not stopped thinking about you Small Potato 🤍🤍 my heart aches for you and I wish there was something I could say that would take just an ounce of the pain away. Just know that we are all here for you

I’m so sorry I’ve crossed your thoughts. My sarcasm and dark humour usually prevails but it’s honestly got the better of me today.

 

[calmyourritas]

I’m so sorry I’ve crossed your thoughts. My sarcasm and dark humour usually prevails but it’s honestly got the better of me today.

Not at all - I’m glad you came back to us. You have been missed Everything you are feeling is completely valid