He’a like a middle brow fortune cookie.
We could collectively bang out a Matt Plague guide to embracing the magic of shitting your pants in public in >4 hours and it would be a better/funnier read.he's deleted the tweet about bad reviews
anyway, I've been thinking about something
Extract from The Comfort Break Book
by kachoochoo, saviour of the world
Toothbrush
Imagine you are a toothbrush. Waiting patiently in your beaker on the sink. They say no toothbrush is an island. And yet, here you are. You anxiously await your twice daily moment to shine. And shine you do. Literally, you abrade teeth until they sparkle. Sparkle like Mr Sparkle, that detergent box Homer Simpson found at the tip. Don't put yourself in the tip. Keep smiling, like the smiles you keep sparkling
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that'll be £600K please and thank you
Yup. If only he could be like this all the time.
we need to pitch this to Unbound.Room (tunnel’s version)
Imagine a room. Imagine that room holds all your worries, stresses and comparisons like the balloon you had as a child when rooms were bigger and balloons never burst. Now let go of that balloon. See it float away. Imagine that room. Be that balloon.
Edit- this could be so much fun and make my relatively (at the moment) tedious life much better. Seen one for growth on IG- .
Never been described as either of those things so absolutely here for the 600k.we need to pitch this to Unbound.
"The Little Tattle Book of Haig Piss-Takery"
"Highly intelligent and beautiful Tattlers present a wry take on Matt Haig's arrogant and condescending comfort break book.
"Within these pages, we will ruthlessly mock and simultaneously improve Haig's snoozesome prose and basic takes."
Target £600k. We trouser the cash Monroe/Gladwell style and we're set!
Sorry Tunnel dear heart but 'hot tunnel' sounds like a new, horrible euphemism for fannyHot (tunnel’s version)
bleeping self centered tosser. Extremely dark humour and cynicism has gotten me (and many of you I'm sure ) through many moments when arguably I've been well over the edge. Reading a 15 page thread on a small gossip forum and then subtweeting about it when you have many, many published books and thousands of genuine fans is pathetic. Why don't you give them some attention?he's had a grunk then.
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seriously, I think the majority of us on this thread are living proof that cynicism is absolutely NOT the luxury of the well
honestly, duck all the way off. cynicism gets me through the day sometimes. I've been to the edge and ghost stories are my comfort reading!
we are all different you absolute clown! count your money and let us carry on taking the piss in peace, thx luv
How long until he does a Fack and turns up to defend himself?
Matt should go and walk around the outskirts of a city like Napoli and then come back and post this.Stop being a privileged twit. Own your privilege and duck off.
(I haven’t expressed what I want to say very well. In a word I think it he is being really offensive to the Italians, to people who live in areas that may not be as pretty and affluent as he would like (Grimsby and Stevenage for example) and just anyone actually- he is pissing me off.