I'm not going to visit his house. It was more a thought of how dangerous it could be if I did.The fact you’re contemplating visiting him at his house after all the red flags have been highlighted … I don’t understand, honestly. You’re really setting yourself up.
Life with Monique was in hospital for the last year of her life but she was in a really bad way and had lived with cancer for five years.Definitely lying, not to sound too morbid but if he’s terminal, he wouldn’t be taking up a precious hospital bed, he would either be in a hospice receiving palliative care or at home with palliative nurses coming in to administer morphine.
Block and don’t look back
Ahh ok.. it's the most minute chance that I could know who this person is but your post just struck a chord, probably with you choosing the pseudonym of T. I can't for the life of me figure out how to send a private message on this site. It's likely not the same person anyway. I hope you figure it all out!I sort of worry what might happen if I agree to visit him at his house and someone comes along to pick me up claiming to be his brother, that seems unsafe.
I have spoken to T twice when he has been better and not sedated and he said he'd have understood if I had moved on. But the curiosity just meant I wasn't really thinking about other dates just yet.
His name doesn't begin with T I just used it for some anonymity. He lives in the south west of England though his "brother" lives in South Yorkshire....
They took away private messaging.Ahh ok.. it's the most minute chance that I could know who this person is but your post just struck a chord, probably with you choosing the pseudonym of T. I can't for the life of me figure out how to send a private message on this site. It's likely not the same person anyway. I hope you figure it all out!
Definitely lying, not to sound too morbid but if he’s terminal, he wouldn’t be taking up a precious hospital bed, he would either be in a hospice receiving palliative care or at home with palliative nurses coming in to administer morphine.
Block and don’t look back
No and this is another red flag to me, and I have asked his brother lots of times and that question seems to go unanswered. I just know he had a lump in his groin and now has spread to his spine, despite the amount of scans he has had.By the way, did he confirm what type of cancer he supposedly has?
Yeah I'm guessing the more specific he is the harder it is to lie. Also then you have to remember more details which gets harder the more details you give.It’s very telling he didn’t even mention what type of cancer he supposedly has. It’s the most basic information. I guess he did not want to tell you a fabricated cancer type so you wouldn’t go around Googling every treatment step he claims he’s undergoing to compare the real treatment information can find online. He’s keeping quiet about this to make up his story and amplify it as he goes.
He apparently told his brother to keep me updated when he can't...it is intense how his brother is always gushing over T and trying to pry my thoughts. He'd always be like "he's so kind, the kindest person in the world" etc.This has an episode of “Catfish” written all over it - if you’ve ever seen the show, you would’ve seen there’s people out there who lie about this stuff for YEARS.
I honestly find it really weird that his “brother” is messaging you - if your sibling was really poorly in hospital, would you be spending time messaging someone they were having casual dates with, that you’d never met?
I personally would block but if you want to be nice about it, send a message first and just say you’re so sorry but there’s literally no support you can offer if you don’t even know this man’s last name, can’t visit him and can’t contact him directly. That you wish him the best and hope it all works out and maybe you’ll reconnect in the future. Block. Move on.
I thought about this and messaging to try and force his hand and call his bluff etc.I’d message from another phone pretending to be a lad and text him saying ‘You out for a pint tomorrow mate?’ See if he’s living his normal life.
Oh just leave them to it. Move on.I thought about this and messaging to try and force his hand and call his bluff etc.
I was in two minds as to whether to do that or just not sink to playing games and just leaving it.
Yeah good point. He will probably sus it is me or another woman if he has led multiple people on.The thing is he could be using one number to speak to you and another to speak to his mates, so if you text him pretending to be one of them, he’ll know it’s you. Besides, someone operating like this and presumably faking cancer probably doesn’t have a lot of friends if any.
These people are smart enough to use different numbers to avoid anyone finding out information about them. If his phone number didn’t allow to find any profile on any social media, he’s probably using a burner phone or different number to speak to you.
Yeah I always wonder this. Like how much do I really know?The thing is as well, that you cannot even be certain that his first name is his real first name if he hasn't given any other details and you can't find him on social media with his phone number. He could just have plucked a name out of thin air.
I just want to check if when you met this guy after work did he have any gold teeth or was super flashy?
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