- Notice
This story reads a lot like many other fabricated cancer stories out there. The big red flags:
- You’re dating but you don’t know where he works or lives. How can you not know the company where he works (at least)?
- His brother texted you from his phone (this seems to be a reoccurring theme with fabricated stories - a third party always pops up in acting / communicating on behalf of the person because the main party is “too unwell”). It’s probably him pretending to be his brother.
- If you follow real cancer stories on YouTube etc, surgery doesn’t happen that quickly after the initial diagnosis. The process is more complex than “we need to operate immediately” and goes through various layers of reviews / examinations / options assessment.
- The story keeps on getting more concerning and escalates quickly every couple of days. There is always a fast progression with amplified facts with these fabricated cancer stories.
Go and take a look at YouTube - there are plenty of these fake stories.
Be careful because the next step in the story could be him asking for money or donations because the doctors supposedly want to give him a treatment that’s not so common and needs significant funding.
- You’re dating but you don’t know where he works or lives. How can you not know the company where he works (at least)?
- His brother texted you from his phone (this seems to be a reoccurring theme with fabricated stories - a third party always pops up in acting / communicating on behalf of the person because the main party is “too unwell”). It’s probably him pretending to be his brother.
- If you follow real cancer stories on YouTube etc, surgery doesn’t happen that quickly after the initial diagnosis. The process is more complex than “we need to operate immediately” and goes through various layers of reviews / examinations / options assessment.
- The story keeps on getting more concerning and escalates quickly every couple of days. There is always a fast progression with amplified facts with these fabricated cancer stories.
Go and take a look at YouTube - there are plenty of these fake stories.
Be careful because the next step in the story could be him asking for money or donations because the doctors supposedly want to give him a treatment that’s not so common and needs significant funding.
Last edited:
HelloStereo
VIP Member
Hey I have a little update on this if anyone is interested. I had them both blocked on my phone but still saved as contacts. A few days ago I was on tiktok and a new account appeared on the "from your contacts" section. From memory the profile pic was the same one T's brother used on whatsapp (obscured so you couldnt see his face but the pic was his), but the username was T's 
. So basically the "brother" was T.
It has been a month since i last spoke to them so it doesn't bother me and I'm not dwelling on it and haven't contacted them etc. Just an update for everyone who contributed to this thread
.
I think I am going to take a step back from dating for a while though and work on myself - this did affect how well I trust people
. So basically the "brother" was T. It has been a month since i last spoke to them so it doesn't bother me and I'm not dwelling on it and haven't contacted them etc. Just an update for everyone who contributed to this thread
.I think I am going to take a step back from dating for a while though and work on myself - this did affect how well I trust people
Rippedjeanmaybe
VIP Member
Block, delete and move on.
id be doubtful that the brother even exists, let alone the cancer.
way too many red flags there. The fact you’ve never been to his house and don’t even know his last name?
honestly just walk away!
id be doubtful that the brother even exists, let alone the cancer.
way too many red flags there. The fact you’ve never been to his house and don’t even know his last name?
honestly just walk away!
Miss Lulupops
Member
Without giving too much away about myself, I work in the cancer department at a hospital.
You need to see a GP. You get referred on a 2 Week Wait. There are exceptions to the rule but the NHS have an aim of seeing somebody with suspected cancer within two weeks.
When they give you that appointment, it is only then they will discuss next treatment plans whether that is a CT scan, biopsy, colonoscopy etc. The waiting lists for CT scans especially are extremely high and in a lot of cases people need blood test results back before they can have a scan so the consultant can have all the information possible to give an accurate account on if there is cancer.
There is then a 72 day guideline to make sure people that people who have been referred have had their first appointment, tests, follow up appointments and their first treatments and operations.
You also would not have an operation straight away unless the cancer was causing such serious complications that you are admitted to A and E and they operate then. They try to get you in quick for an operation if needed but waiting times are different for each department and they like to prepare you that you are having an op and you will often need other tests done before this so you will usually have a few weeks before any op takes place unless as I stated, it is an emergency incident.
Obviously this can vary. 72 days tends to be the max.
It is also very unlikely he had radiotherapy and chemo and then chemo or whatever it is you were saying. Both are very very invasive treatments. And it is likely (not in all cases before anyone comes at me!) that a consultant would only want to treat you with one at a time. Chemo and radiotherapy together at the same time is rare although can be done.
As another poster mentioned, the bed crisis is very real. If he is terminal, they will send him to hospice or home and he will only be on treatment to prolong his life. Usually with terminal the aim would be to make him more comfortable so unlikely they would be throwing loads of chemo and radiotherapy at him.
If he is not terminal, he will 100 percent be an outpatient.
So in short, he's lying to you.
I am confused that you said you searched him on Facebook as I thought you didn't know his last name.
But to be blunt, with the information I know about cancer through work and people in my personal life suffering, i have no clue why you would even entertain this. I'm not trying to be rude but it couldn't be anymore obvious that he's lying.
You need to see a GP. You get referred on a 2 Week Wait. There are exceptions to the rule but the NHS have an aim of seeing somebody with suspected cancer within two weeks.
When they give you that appointment, it is only then they will discuss next treatment plans whether that is a CT scan, biopsy, colonoscopy etc. The waiting lists for CT scans especially are extremely high and in a lot of cases people need blood test results back before they can have a scan so the consultant can have all the information possible to give an accurate account on if there is cancer.
There is then a 72 day guideline to make sure people that people who have been referred have had their first appointment, tests, follow up appointments and their first treatments and operations.
You also would not have an operation straight away unless the cancer was causing such serious complications that you are admitted to A and E and they operate then. They try to get you in quick for an operation if needed but waiting times are different for each department and they like to prepare you that you are having an op and you will often need other tests done before this so you will usually have a few weeks before any op takes place unless as I stated, it is an emergency incident.
Obviously this can vary. 72 days tends to be the max.
It is also very unlikely he had radiotherapy and chemo and then chemo or whatever it is you were saying. Both are very very invasive treatments. And it is likely (not in all cases before anyone comes at me!) that a consultant would only want to treat you with one at a time. Chemo and radiotherapy together at the same time is rare although can be done.
As another poster mentioned, the bed crisis is very real. If he is terminal, they will send him to hospice or home and he will only be on treatment to prolong his life. Usually with terminal the aim would be to make him more comfortable so unlikely they would be throwing loads of chemo and radiotherapy at him.
If he is not terminal, he will 100 percent be an outpatient.
So in short, he's lying to you.
I am confused that you said you searched him on Facebook as I thought you didn't know his last name.
But to be blunt, with the information I know about cancer through work and people in my personal life suffering, i have no clue why you would even entertain this. I'm not trying to be rude but it couldn't be anymore obvious that he's lying.
This has an episode of “Catfish” written all over it - if you’ve ever seen the show, you would’ve seen there’s people out there who lie about this stuff for YEARS.
I honestly find it really weird that his “brother” is messaging you - if your sibling was really poorly in hospital, would you be spending time messaging someone they were having casual dates with, that you’d never met?
I personally would block but if you want to be nice about it, send a message first and just say you’re so sorry but there’s literally no support you can offer if you don’t even know this man’s last name, can’t visit him and can’t contact him directly. That you wish him the best and hope it all works out and maybe you’ll reconnect in the future. Block. Move on.
I honestly find it really weird that his “brother” is messaging you - if your sibling was really poorly in hospital, would you be spending time messaging someone they were having casual dates with, that you’d never met?
I personally would block but if you want to be nice about it, send a message first and just say you’re so sorry but there’s literally no support you can offer if you don’t even know this man’s last name, can’t visit him and can’t contact him directly. That you wish him the best and hope it all works out and maybe you’ll reconnect in the future. Block. Move on.
And_that's_okay!
VIP Member
I'd message the brother this:
Hi, * insert name
I was chatting to someone yesterday, they know * insert name from school and said they'd recently spoken and he'd told them what hospital he was in so they bobbed in for a quick visit. I've just been to buy a few supplies (deodorant, shampoo etc) and am round the corner from the hospital so close by. * Insert name said the hospital staff were friendly and helpful and will likely let me pop my head round the door. I hope he's pleased to see me
See what the response is.
I'd fuck with them back to be fair.
Hi, * insert name
I was chatting to someone yesterday, they know * insert name from school and said they'd recently spoken and he'd told them what hospital he was in so they bobbed in for a quick visit. I've just been to buy a few supplies (deodorant, shampoo etc) and am round the corner from the hospital so close by. * Insert name said the hospital staff were friendly and helpful and will likely let me pop my head round the door. I hope he's pleased to see me
See what the response is.
I'd fuck with them back to be fair.
Phil I Buster
VIP Member
Everything coupled with the fact you last saw him in October says walk away. I had someone play a similar stunt on me and it was despicable. Sorry you’ve dealt with this but block and move on.
candyland_
VIP Member
I’d message from another phone pretending to be a lad and text him saying ‘You out for a pint tomorrow mate?’ See if he’s living his normal life.
HelloStereo
VIP Member
Yeah I used to post every now and then in the dating thread last year
I haven't made up this thread, I almost wish I had it would have saved me a lot of worry in the past
I think you’ve been given plenty of support and information including medical perspective supporting the fact that this story is fabricated.
If you’re still inquiring about tiny details such as sedation when it’s obvious he’s not being truthful, then I’m sorry to say no amount of advice on here will help. You’re just torturing yourself. I know you’re trying to convince yourself that this is fabricated, but you’ve enough evidence at this point.
You just need to face this situation for what is and just move on instead of dissecting every detail. You haven’t been together for this long and you haven’t seen him since October. There’s not much to hang on to at this stage.
If you’re still inquiring about tiny details such as sedation when it’s obvious he’s not being truthful, then I’m sorry to say no amount of advice on here will help. You’re just torturing yourself. I know you’re trying to convince yourself that this is fabricated, but you’ve enough evidence at this point.
You just need to face this situation for what is and just move on instead of dissecting every detail. You haven’t been together for this long and you haven’t seen him since October. There’s not much to hang on to at this stage.
Clovis
VIP Member
Wow, what a story. My thoughts:
The brother is likely him. A brother may exist, but I doubt that's who is communicating with you
Do not give this person any money under any circumstances, whatever they may claim. Do not confirm any information about yourself either e.g. mother's maiden name, name of first pet, place of birth. Nothing.
This part is harsh - you don't know their full name, work place or address. There is no relationship here. Block them and move on.
The brother is likely him. A brother may exist, but I doubt that's who is communicating with you
Do not give this person any money under any circumstances, whatever they may claim. Do not confirm any information about yourself either e.g. mother's maiden name, name of first pet, place of birth. Nothing.
This part is harsh - you don't know their full name, work place or address. There is no relationship here. Block them and move on.
candyland_
VIP Member
I don’t think so. I recognise this poster from the dating thread I think.
Tomorrow is a brand new year.. Leave him in 2022 and see it as a lesson to walk away the first time someone starts to play you.
I'm reading your responses and really feel for you. You're giving him too much credit and seem to be clinging to the idea he's being straight with you. You need to step back and take the emotion out of this situation. He's at it, save yourself more angst and move on. This won't end well.
candyland_
VIP Member
Just from the first paragraph huge red alarm bells are ringing. I think you are someone he hooks up with while away from home and he’s making ridiculous excuses to get out of it. The whole situation is bizarre.
Tell him good luck and block.
Tell him good luck and block.
Very traditional
VIP Member
None of what you’re being told rings true, I don’t know why anyone would lie about something like this but I think that’s what’s happening here. I would definitely stop contact. I really hope you’re ok, I can’t imagine how this must have made you feel xx
HelloStereo
VIP Member
So a little update from me. I thought so long and hard about telling his wife. When I found out he was married obviously I felt many emotions but I didn't want to just be telling her to get back at him as I know finding out your spouse is cheating must be devastating and might break up a family. But equally it must be horrible to be completely oblivious and find out a long time afterwards. I know there was a bit of conversation from a few of you on here saying how you'd have wanted to know if it was you etc.
I've spent some time looking after myself and taking care of my emotions but I still had it in the back of my mind whether I should tell her or not, and that along with the screenshots in case I did decide were holding me back a little bit. I know it might seem like I am overinvested but it's not so much I want to be with him / care about him or think about him specifically anymore, just how I would leave the situation and whether I would tell her.
I found another social media account belonging to the wife today and someone from 2011 had publicly addressed her with multiple screenshots of a conversation her husband was having with another woman, with the caption "@ your husband is cheating on you, here's proof." These conversations were all made in his real name with his profile picture attached etc. I felt devastated for her as it must be humiliating having your husband's dirty conversations aired out in public. But it seems like she was aware of his behaviour / inclination for infidelity in the past and has forgiven him so I feel like I can move on.
I've spent some time looking after myself and taking care of my emotions but I still had it in the back of my mind whether I should tell her or not, and that along with the screenshots in case I did decide were holding me back a little bit. I know it might seem like I am overinvested but it's not so much I want to be with him / care about him or think about him specifically anymore, just how I would leave the situation and whether I would tell her.
I found another social media account belonging to the wife today and someone from 2011 had publicly addressed her with multiple screenshots of a conversation her husband was having with another woman, with the caption "@ your husband is cheating on you, here's proof." These conversations were all made in his real name with his profile picture attached etc. I felt devastated for her as it must be humiliating having your husband's dirty conversations aired out in public. But it seems like she was aware of his behaviour / inclination for infidelity in the past and has forgiven him so I feel like I can move on.