Lying about cancer?!

[Meg78]

Thank you for this. I have blocked them out of my life so I'm not sure about questioning them, but I did do some of your suggestions already. When I met him he said he doesn't really use social media, and I couldn't find any accounts associated with his number, nor his brother's and I don't know his wife's name to check. I did ask about sending a gift / card but was told the hospital was strict about it, but they didn't say which hospital it was. We met in my city as he goes there for work every now and then, I don't think he has any dating profiles.

Like you said, if he wanted me there I guess I would be at hospital with him. I think cutting them out is easier for me than trying to distance myself though, I find I am often all or nothing

Ah see it would drive me nuts not knowing, and I’d want to warn his wife

 

[HelloStereo]

Ah see it would drive me nuts not knowing, and I’d want to warn his wife

Not knowing does drive me nuts haha, but I think it'll pass. Better than being involved more anyway as I think that would drive me more nuts.

I hope if he has a wife she will find out after a while. Although if he has he kept it well hidden as we'd call each other throughout the day everyday

 

[IGiveUp22]

If he’s got a wife he 100% lies to her about absolutely everything as well

 

[Sabbie]

I went through all these pages hoping for a reveal all. Glad you finally dumped the psychopath. But please get checked at a clinic since you slept with him. Just to keep yourself safe and healthy. You we’re obviously not his first rodeo.

 

[HelloStereo]

Hey I have a little update on this if anyone is interested. I had them both blocked on my phone but still saved as contacts. A few days ago I was on tiktok and a new account appeared on the "from your contacts" section. From memory the profile pic was the same one T's brother used on whatsapp (obscured so you couldnt see his face but the pic was his), but the username was T's . So basically the "brother" was T.

It has been a month since i last spoke to them so it doesn't bother me and I'm not dwelling on it and haven't contacted them etc. Just an update for everyone who contributed to this thread .

I think I am going to take a step back from dating for a while though and work on myself - this did affect how well I trust people

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

Hey I have a little update on this if anyone is interested. I had them both blocked on my phone but still saved as contacts. A few days ago I was on tiktok and a new account appeared on the "from your contacts" section. From memory the profile pic was the same one T's brother used on whatsapp (obscured so you couldnt see his face but the pic was his), but the username was T's . So basically the "brother" was T.

It has been a month since i last spoke to them so it doesn't bother me and I'm not dwelling on it and haven't contacted them etc. Just an update for everyone who contributed to this thread .

I think I am going to take a step back from dating for a while though and work on myself - this did affect how well I trust people

I can’t say I’m shocked that they were the same person.

My ex used to make multiple different social media accounts to stalk girls (literally) and I always guessed he must have a second sim or something.

Some people are very strange!

 

[IGiveUp22]

Hey I have a little update on this if anyone is interested. I had them both blocked on my phone but still saved as contacts. A few days ago I was on tiktok and a new account appeared on the "from your contacts" section. From memory the profile pic was the same one T's brother used on whatsapp (obscured so you couldnt see his face but the pic was his), but the username was T's . So basically the "brother" was T.

It has been a month since i last spoke to them so it doesn't bother me and I'm not dwelling on it and haven't contacted them etc. Just an update for everyone who contributed to this thread .

I think I am going to take a step back from dating for a while though and work on myself - this did affect how well I trust people

That feature on tik tok is very interesting! Especially in this situation.

I’m also not surprised but honestly it’s so so weird that there are people like this out there. It’s scary!

 

[HelloStereo]

That feature on tik tok is very interesting! Especially in this situation.

I’m also not surprised but honestly it’s so so weird that there are people like this out there. It’s scary!

Yeah it is. His "brother" would talk to me for ages about T's condition and everything. It makes you wonder what they get out of it. If they don't want to talk anymore take the cowardly way out and ghost.
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I can’t say I’m shocked that they were the same person.

My ex used to make multiple different social media accounts to stalk girls (literally) and I always guessed he must have a second sim or something.

Some people are very strange!

Yeah second sim definitely - makes sense why they were never online at the same time . I feel sorry for T's wife / partner.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Hey I have a little update on this if anyone is interested. I had them both blocked on my phone but still saved as contacts. A few days ago I was on tiktok and a new account appeared on the "from your contacts" section. From memory the profile pic was the same one T's brother used on whatsapp (obscured so you couldnt see his face but the pic was his), but the username was T's . So basically the "brother" was T.

It has been a month since i last spoke to them so it doesn't bother me and I'm not dwelling on it and haven't contacted them etc. Just an update for everyone who contributed to this thread .

I think I am going to take a step back from dating for a while though and work on myself - this did affect how well I trust people

Wow. What is wrong with people. I don’t understand why he’d go through all that. It’s sick to lie about cancer. Sick to string you along and lie so much. Not sure what has gone on in his head to actually do this !!
That last bit is wise. I could imagine it would be so hard to trust a person again! Hope you’re ok

 

[HelloStereo]

Wow. What is wrong with people. I don’t understand why he’d go through all that. It’s sick to lie about cancer. Sick to string you along and lie so much. Not sure what has gone on in his head to actually do this !!
That last bit is wise. I could imagine it would be so hard to trust a person again! Hope you’re ok

Especially for so long. And he'd text long essays quite a bit throughout the day and text almost every day. Makes you wonder what they had to gain from it as it seems like a waste of time on both our ends now. It is an awful thing to lie about and makes a mockery of all the people who genuinely have cancer.

I'm okay, it feels like a big weight has been lifted from my shoulders now I have that bit of information and an answer. It will just take a while for me to build trust in people, I know I will get so anxious if they don't reply for a bit. Thank you for your comment though

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Especially for so long. And he'd text long essays quite a bit throughout the day and text almost every day. Makes you wonder what they had to gain from it as it seems like a waste of time on both our ends now. It is an awful thing to lie about and makes a mockery of all the people who genuinely have cancer.

I'm okay, it feels like a big weight has been lifted from my shoulders now I have that bit of information and an answer. It will just take a while for me to build trust in people, I know I will get so anxious if they don't reply for a bit. Thank you for your comment though

Aw bless you. Maybe you will but I’d like to think the next person wouldn’t pull this stunt. I would probs be open and honest with them and explain you have trust issues & maybe fill them in a bit on the story. That way you’ll know by their response if they’re worth it. I would if it was me. But your choice.

 

[HelloStereo]

Aw bless you. Maybe you will but I’d like to think the next person wouldn’t pull this stunt. I would probs be open and honest with them and explain you have trust issues & maybe fill them in a bit on the story. That way you’ll know by their response if they’re worth it. I would if it was me. But your choice.

Yes, just so theyre aware i guess it epuld be fair for the next person to know why i am how i am. Or at least I will be better at spotting red flags in future. It has been quite the experience

 

[cantthinkofaname2]

Just glad you’re ok HS

 

[HelloStereo]

Just glad you’re ok HS

Thank you so much, I will be in the end

 

[Ari-55]

I only have a little experience in dating but my main takeaway is - some are definitely assh*les and have issues but none of the men I’ve ever dated have had a problem telling me their last name or where they work (eg the company) once we’ve met in person a few times. Withholding this information is a bit of a red flag since the most you could really do with it is do some online stalking, and they shouldn’t have much of a problem with you seeing what they post unless they are trying to hide something.

Once you’ve moved on I think all this would make an interesting conversation for a date actually.

 

[HelloStereo]

I only have a little experience in dating but my main takeaway is - some are definitely assh*les and have issues but none of the men I’ve ever dated have had a problem telling me their last name or where they work (eg the company) once we’ve met in person a few times. Withholding this information is a bit of a red flag since the most you could really do with it is do some online stalking, and they shouldn’t have much of a problem with you seeing what they post unless they are trying to hide something.

Once you’ve moved on I think all this would make an interesting conversation for a date actually.

Yeah that's fair, next time I will check how open they are being with me and take it as a red flag if after some dates they seem guarded about their true identity.

You just don't expect because their last name etc hasn't come up in conversation they're going to lie about being seriously ill / their whole identity / make up a brother to spin you tales of how their treatment is going. To me that's extreme and I'd think they'd only be cagey about their life if they were planning on doing a runner.

I will be more careful in future though. I think at the beginning I let a lot of odd details slide because I'm naturally not a confrontational person.

 

[Sabbie]

Hope karma comes visits him one day and he’ll not be happy about it. What an weird human being. We all knew it was him, but I hope getting the final piece to the puzzle is a relief for you.

 

[HelloStereo]

Hope karma comes visits him one day and he’ll not be happy about it. What an weird human being. We all knew it was him, but I hope getting the final piece to the puzzle is a relief for you.

I wouldn't wish cancer on anyone but it was such a horrible experience.

He lied about both names I found out. He is married and used his son's name as the guy i thought he was initially and his other son's name as the guy I was dating's "brother".

What is scary is that he was saying to see the guy I was dating the hospital would need visitor details such as a full name and address and that i could provide this to the hospital or he would happily pass it on. I didnt and would never have given him the details but it adds an extra later of sinister to it that he spun this massive lie and would have then known where I lived...

 

[CoffeeMamma]

I wouldn't wish cancer on anyone but it was such a horrible experience.

He lied about both names I found out. He is married and used his son's name as the guy i thought he was initially and his other son's name as the guy I was dating's "brother".

What is scary is that he was saying to see the guy I was dating the hospital would need visitor details such as a full name and address and that i could provide this to the hospital or he would happily pass it on. I didnt and would never have given him the details but it adds an extra later of sinister to it that he spun this massive lie and would have then known where I lived...

You poor thing, what a horrible experience. Thankfully not everyone is like that out there but definitely take a step back until you feel happier in yourself having just lost my MiL to cancer I’ll happily find him and rip his arms off so I have something to hit him with.

 

[Clickbait]

I wouldn't wish cancer on anyone but it was such a horrible experience.

He lied about both names I found out. He is married and used his son's name as the guy i thought he was initially and his other son's name as the guy I was dating's "brother".

What is scary is that he was saying to see the guy I was dating the hospital would need visitor details such as a full name and address and that i could provide this to the hospital or he would happily pass it on. I didnt and would never have given him the details but it adds an extra later of sinister to it that he spun this massive lie and would have then known where I lived...

How did you find out he was married and used his kids’ names? What a complete fantasist. There are some strange people who walk among us.