Lydia Millen #81 Brag away, we know Bunny won’t give you the Thyme of day!

[AmaliaLana]

The knob of dreams gets a good fondling. The birthday boy by contrast, gets none.

Don't do that to me, I am eating a soup atm. I was holding the plate in one hand, and the spoon in the other and started to cackle whilst putting soup into my mouth. DANGER!

 

[PixelGirl]

a good friend of mine told me that it's bad luck to gift knifes. The meaning of knives it to cut, hence it will "cut" the relationship between the giver and receiver.

This is true, I was given a set of knives by a very close friend and that friendship is completely gone. To think we once saw each other every day.

 

[Themoomoo]

Hilarious, can your hubby comment on every vlog?

So she gets a table and plates for her birthday and Ali gets egg cups like the boiled egg and soldiers wooden plate Josie has.

I just asked him...... it’s a no from him

 

[Rubythefirebat]

Lecturing Lydia. How lovely. xxxxxx

When people constantly bang on about being happy, they aren't happy. Just sayin'.

Her insistence on gaslighting the audience, insisting how painting the cornice and trim the same sludge colour is making the ceilings feel higher just isn't working. No, Lydia, now the ceilings feel even lower than they did. Perhaps since she and Ali are so short they prefer to feel taller now that the ceilings feel ever so closer to their heads.

The knob of dreams gets a good fondling. The birthday boy by contrast, gets none. Ali is very muted in this video. Lydia says they're hungover. I would be too if I had to live with her. The sweet nectar of black out drunk evenings is probably the only peace he gets in his head.

All the orgasmic yelps over Lauren's work in the kitchen/dining area has been redone already. I present "twigs by Lydia". I daresay her opinion of Lauren's work is curdling, much like the paint colour of dreams. The dank, manky tones of this newest era within the bungalow of dreams. She admits she has to keep the guest bedroom doors open because the hallway is too dark. Guess that paint colour is the gift that keeps on taking what little light the dank house had to begin with.

She fluctuates from lecturing the audience, to claiming she is the happiest she's ever been, everything is all her now. Plus more MY MY MY. My greenhouse, my house, my dream.

Porter escapes his prison cell and does a runner down the hall. GO PORTER! Now make sure you leave a present on the new rug. The tiny, too small, dining table rug looks like pee pad, hope he keeps using it.

Ending with a lovely shot of the wonky arch of sour dreams. You can feel the house's luck swooshing out the door.

Oh no the table decor! So we only reached the Easter mark. I still give half point for those who voted for her birthday, because of the salt is still on, and for the Excalibur chair.

 

[Uninfluenced observer]

a good friend of mine told me that it's bad luck to gift knifes. The meaning of knives it to cut, hence it will "cut" the relationship between the giver and receiver.

I think that’s superstition and interesting it seem cross cultural. Knives, scissors and even needles. In some cultures if you receive a knife or sometime sharp you have to give consideration eg £1 so it’s not a gift and you pay for it so you don’t cut or sever relationship. I’m not particularly superstitious but I have you say this one I do agree with and I wouldn’t accept a gift I’d pay a family member or firmed wanting or trying to gift me a knife or scissors! Though if it were from some own like Lidl then maybe I wouldn’t be fussed!

 

[Jeana J]

Vlog Monday 12 April

- It's been her second run of the season. It's been euphoric. She didn't realise how not running was affecting her mentally. It's only a minute into the vlog and I feel like I'm already 95% bleeping done with this.

- Running tips by Lydia. Let me check my giveashitometer. No nothing. If you're getting out of breath go slower. Slower than you've ever imagined. The slower the more you get to see, the amazingness you get to take in.

- It's getting to that season where she just blooms. She's stepped away from working on social media. She's focusing on herself. Give it up Lydia. You're as worn out as a mood ring on a bipolar witch. If she can benefit from life coaches and therapists she will. She can't tell us how much better she feels, more confident speaking to us. She spent a lot of time in fear. She doesn't want us to feel when we see her happiness and progress that it just happens like that. She harbours negativity and ambiguity that's directing at her. She's removed it all. It's a working progress. She's at 50% of where she wants to be. After the rant in the pants I'd say more like 5%. With your physique, maybe bitchy isn't the way to go.

- The running glow is the best glow ever. Not the £50 tit mitt from China kind of glow. Definitely not.

- She's in the bathroom now and says naturally she has a busy day. She's going all out with her skincare, only the bougie stuff. Certain noises drive me insane. Like your voice. That's a big one.

- Cue to dressing room. Her eyes are going to give her away, she's being working like you wouldn't believe. She's bashed out 2 reels and a load of Instagram stories. She listened to the Fearne Cotton podcast. So much resonated with her. What validates her. People are like drains, some will drain you, some fill you up. Jake Humphrey is the type of person who will fill you up. Never has that been said about a male in that bungalow before. Ever.

- She shows us her black lace top. Oh the craftsmanship. She has a white bra under said top. Aren't you a fashun influ...duck it. Not my circus. Not my monkeys.

- She's never going to stop talking about the door knobs. Note to self: It's illegal to stab people for being stupid.

- She's designed bespoke rustic puppy gates for the doorways. They have 'Millen-Gordon' monogrammed on them. Tell me you're a chav without telling me you're a chav?

- She's wearing leggings and a blouse. Cinched in with her Hermès belt obvs. She was going to wear her Prada boots but her feet have swelled. From running? From alcohol? If I was any less tolerant of stupid people, I'd be mowing them down with my car by now.

- She's shut the door which is minus one handle so will now not open. If you want me to stop being so judgemental, you should stop doing so many stupid things that I'm forced to acknowledge.

- She's carrying on organising in the morning. She says the home is on the last stretch. Ali squeaks are you saying that again? Yes Ali. Yes she is. You can't fix stupid. But you can sedate it. Marriage tip to Lydia #1.

- Ali apparently didn't want any birthday presents as she's done the house and that was his birthday present. Oh and knives and an egg cup. At least the best thing about them being older is they did all their stupid tit before the internet. No wait...

- Her brother has bought them a tree for their birthdays. He works on designing affordable eco homes and he's really passionate on sustainability and the earth and stuff. To actually say this after your incessant hauls, you're more stupid than the stupid girl who trips and falls in horror movies. That's a lot of stupid.

- They've had a sausage roll party for breakfast. I'm sorry that we can't pray the stupid away. Your flatulence may however.

- She's baking biscotti. At times like this she's so glad Lauren allowed her thermomix to be left out. WTAF??! No really. I wish you weren't a mouth breather. Or a nose breather.

- She's ordering some more twigs for her tablescape so it's not so full on. She likes it to look twiggy. A light sprinkle. So tell me about your own 'woodland' at the back of the house? You know where stupidity twigs grow.

- She's not got her wreath yet and that's a big part of getting ready for a wonderful spring experience. But she's had a productive spring weekend. It must be so relaxing to be stupid.

- Take a shot for how many times I wrote stupid. Thankfully I've booked restaurants for the next two evenings. I'll be there recovering from this vlog. Oh and plz stop encouraging her to have a second boob job. Mine hurt like a witch. And this is the grlll who lists her ailments like she's auditioning for an extra on ER. There's just not enough alcohol to tolerate this pissy noob tuber in actual pain.

I’ve just had actual tears reading highlights of this masterpiece to the hubster. Really concerned for the fake tan I’ve just applied to my face (promise I’m not Lydia ) and what I will wake up to!

 

[Chels71]

Hilarious! You have a wise one there.
When my husband overhears a vlog, his comments are so similar to the comments here that I have actually questioned whether he has an account and is one of you!

My husband would be the same way and wouldn’t be able to stomach her and he surely wouldn’t think she would be anything special like she thinks of herself!!!

 

[blue_orchid]

Yes, she said that she wants them to be removed or replaced by smaller ones (more in proportion with her body) and that she won’t go back to the doctor who did them because although he is really good, she wants somebody who is nicer...(whatever that means).

That means somebody "free".

 

[Miss Trunchbull]

Having had everything done in the house her way, choice and for her use, a shed wouldn’t have been a nice gesture for all Ali’s labour to date

I meant wouldn’t a shed be a nice gesture? If you see what I mean.....

 

[Margo Polo]

Lecturing Lydia. How lovely. xxxxxx

When people constantly bang on about being happy, they aren't happy. Just sayin'.

Her insistence on gaslighting the audience, insisting how painting the cornice and trim the same sludge colour is making the ceilings feel higher just isn't working. No, Lydia, now the ceilings feel even lower than they did. Perhaps since she and Ali are so short they prefer to feel taller now that the ceilings feel ever so closer to their heads.

The knob of dreams gets a good fondling. The birthday boy by contrast, gets none. Ali is very muted in this video. Lydia says they're hungover. I would be too if I had to live with her. The sweet nectar of black out drunk evenings is probably the only peace he gets in his head.

All the orgasmic yelps over Lauren's work in the kitchen/dining area has been redone already. I present "twigs by Lydia". I daresay her opinion of Lauren's work is curdling, much like the paint colour of dreams. The dank, manky tones of this newest era within the bungalow of dreams. She admits she has to keep the guest bedroom doors open because the hallway is too dark. Guess that paint colour is the gift that keeps on taking what little light the dank house had to begin with.

She fluctuates from lecturing the audience, to claiming she is the happiest she's ever been, everything is all her now. Plus more MY MY MY. My greenhouse, my house, my dream.

Porter escapes his prison cell and does a runner down the hall. GO PORTER! Now make sure you leave a present on the new rug. The tiny, too small, dining table rug looks like pee pad, hope he keeps using it.

Ending with a lovely shot of the wonky arch of sour dreams. You can feel the house's luck swooshing out the door.

That is the ugliest table I ever saw, I just can’t stand it. Every time I see it I ask myself why would anyone make a table of rotten wood.

Can one of you posh birds tell me if it is normal to not know what colour your bedroom is going to be when you have an "interior designer" ( ahem ) in ? TIA

Or the bathroom floor....

 

[Louise84]

“the wonky arch of sour dreams”

Brilliant, just brilliant!!

 

[SunAndMoon]

As I'm relatively new to tattle, can someone tell me - is there a drinking game for each time she says (emphatically, with a stop between each word), "Oh. My. Goodness!"?
And why does every wall have to be either painted in Swamp Mud or Baby Diaper Brown?
In the kitchen - she wants "primitive" (the stools, table, and the new crockery), then in other areas she wants "bespoke" (puppy gates, doorknobs...oh, excuse me, door furniture!). Cognitive dissonance.
Did anyone else expect her to walk into the room in spite of the work man's ladder indicating she shouldn't? I was really expecting that to happen.
And that chair is still IN THE SAME PLACE!
She was whispering, I didn't bother to turn up the volume, and I feel I missed nothing. (Why whisper so quietly when you can't be heard? Just film the vlog later when you can speak normal volume.)

 

[toomuchstuff]

Ahhh soo much to read, watch and comment on, it's the dream. But for now I need to 'do my day'. Lovely to see an Elle Belle contribution sitting waiting to be enjoyed.

 

[Peppypoopar]

Apparently she's good at fake tan application

 

[Catcher_In_The_Lie]

Her Glasshouse. So now it’s Crystal Palace

What she thinks her greedhouse house is ...... and almost as tiny as this one

 

[Hunevoque2]

Apparently she's good at fake tan application View attachment 526695

Yes I noticed that on Thursday‘s vlog, like when kids paint their skin for fun!! Well isn’t that what fake tanning is? Sorry it is not a thing on the continent .

 

[JMD]

View attachment 525844

"Those who live in glasshouses should not throw stones"

Edit: @PixelGirl said it first!

 

[Hunevoque2]

What she thinks her greedhouse house is ...... and almost as tiny as this one

That looks like her greenhouse x coffin beds!

"Those who live in glasshouses should not throw stones"

No they throw plates and glasses

 

[MissMidnight]

Yes, she said that she wants them to be removed or replaced by smaller ones (more in proportion with her body) and that she won’t go back to the doctor who did them because although he is really good, she wants somebody who is nicer...(whatever that means ).

Sorry she wants a nicer surgeon? I've never heard such bollocks in my life. If someone is doing SURGERY on me I don't care if they're nice I care if they're goodat their job! Imagine spending all that money on a tit boob job and justify it by saying the surgeon was nice

Knowing Lydia, she probably didn’t follow her Surgeon’s post operative care instructions and if there is one thing that really pushes any Surgeon’s buttons, it’s a non-compliant patient.

If that was the case, and I’m assuming it was given Lydia cannot follow her Dentist’s instructions either, she was most likely given a very stern talking to and she wouldn’t have liked that at all!

 

[Miscanthus]

Thank you @Elle Belle for the hilarious vlog commentary! I like to grab a cuppa and get comfy before I settle down to read it!

Could somebody tell me if Lidl mentioned that she was featured in the Telegraph mag at the weekend? I can't believe I haven't seen it on her home account, which I'm not banned from!