I feel the same way. I don't dislike her for the sake of disliking her. I used to love watching her videos, I thought she was gorgeous and would be inspired by her outfits, makeup etc. But when she changed I felt like I'd lost a friend. Now I feel frustrated, betrayed and bitter. Was the Lydia we see today always there? Or has she genuinely changed? People don't like feeling lied to and I think that's what has driven a lot of us here. I can sometimes still see glimmers of old Lydia which does give me hope, but unfortunately the bad outweighs the good.I made a similar post to this last Autumn. I agree wholeheartedly. Whilst I have great concern about some of her inappropriate behaviour (Nicky etc) nevertheless, I don’t want her to hit the brick wall she seems to be heading for. I really do wish she now embraces what she has been preaching about self care. Ali should not be standing back and neither should others who may be able to guide her to getting adequate care from professionals. I don‘t think she is very well and I think she really does need to try to eat properly. If she can start working on that and take a break in order to get herself better that would be a very good move. At the moment she still has what appears to be a strong following therefore she should take time out and get better whilst she still has a following who would welcome her back and spur her on whilst she takes a sabbatical. I used to love her and would like to think I might be able to think that way again.