Vlog Monday 29.06.20. Filmed a life-time ago.
- No prizes for guessing the vlog opens with her 'sprutes'. She's very excited, but admits not much is happening over here. Talking about life in general Lydia?
- She's impressed herself with her talents. You vastly overestimate your abilities Lydia. There's literally 3 'sproutings' in 5 acres of soil. She's obsessed with basil. She rubs her fingers on the leaves to smell them when walking past. What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've heard Lydia. Ever.
- She now admits the courtyard is not a courtyard after all, but a lightwell. She doesn't like being let down when workers don't turn up when they say they will. I wonder how it feels to be a Glóby customer right now Lydia?
- Less than 5 minutes in and she's talked about 3 separate deliveries. Sustainability for life. Well only on days that don't end with y.
- She highlights her 'poor little redshot eyes'. Knowing what we now know, they're about to get worse. A lot worse. Believe me.
- She highlights followers criticise her for spending x amount of money on a mug or scrunchie. She wants to emphasise everyone puts monetary worth on different things. Well I place a whole 5p on Glóby. And not a nice shiny silver 5 pence piece. No, 5 individual copper pennies. The ones you know that have been found on the floor or behind the sofa.
- Her new Gianvito Rossi purchase are a 'brainchild'. They're flip flops. But apparently you can wear them to a wedding. She obviously advised all her own wedding guests to do this. So you know she appeared tall *taller in comparison.
- She's also found a white linen wedding dress which is 'the dream'. She acknowledges the dress might be too big. She tries it on. It's not. I really think you have body dysmorphia Lydia? And brain dysmorphia too.
- She's feeling lethargic. Again. Might need another day off Lydia. Oh wait until the end of the vlog, she's taking 3 week days off in the sun. Standard.
- It's her first time going out by herself in a long while. You such a big girl Lydia. Sorry big shawt girl. Whatever. Does she vlog this first venture out in the unknown? Of course not.
- She can't remember what happened before March. I have a feeling you're not going to forget June Lydia. It's called karma. And it's pronounced haha.
- She thinks she has put too much fake tan on her top lip. Maybe bring out a tash mitt in Glóby Edit No. 2 Lydia? Not that it'll make any difference. We all know it's a hairy tash that no amount of buffing will remove.
- She struggles to bend down to give equally narcissistic cat her food. She says 'mummy's legs don't work after daddy's workout'. I wonder if Ali got any action the night before? On the balance of probability I think not. You're not going to be getting any anytime soon either Ali. Well maybe hate sex. Maybe not.
- A shot of Ali's bum in the flowerbed at 11:30 at night. She states they're 'one cheeseboard deep'. No, not another sexual innuendo.
- She admits she created a 'rod for her own back' about posting on instastories of Ali being livid for gardening so late. Everyone makes mistakes. Future Lydia, you're about to post another cringe story very soon.
- There's a little mothy on her lavender bush. We might not be able to hear her because of the wind. I actually like the sound you make when you shut up Lydia.
- Her actual job of the day is to prep the veg. The veg she won't eat. All about that healthy lifestyle.
- She's making another blueberry and lime cake. (Thermo)mix it up girl and actually make something else. Variety is the spice of life after all.
- It's just clouded over. She's livid as the day's weather report lied. You should be Lydia. There's definitely going to be more rain on your parade in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...
- She opens a parcel of books. She 'doesn't know what this is but she's obviously been sent it'. Yes, I'm just as surprised they think you can actually read. These will never see the light of day. RIP trees.
- She's learned so much after the movement following George Floyd's death and about who her audience is. She had 'a tunnel vision mindset' before. She says 'call me ignorant'. You're ignorant Lydia. She's going to do better for her beautiful and diverse audience. Well that lasted long.
- She's proud she's shared a plus sized dress. She's a supporter of 'fat' girls too. But her stomach then rumbles repeatedly. She's very hungry. She needs to have her smoothie. She's not adding peanut butter in though as she's been losing definition recently. There is no unit of measure for her stupidity.
- Speaking of units more wine chat. She highlights she consumes alcohol in a responsible way. You know just in case a child is watching her channel. Now this really would be a case for the NSPCC.