Good morning and welcome to today
How is your Christmas prep going? Are you frazzled yet? Like many of you, I’ve opened a fair few Christmas cards recently. I tend to place them in order of preference with the ones with the pictures I’m not that keen on at the back. I got an odd one yesterday. It was addressed to ‘Ops‘ so I knew by the spelling that it was a child‘s handwriting. Probably under 7yrs judging by the heavy and laboriously formed letters. It was a strange shaped envelope, rather bulky and it didn’t stick down properly at the back. If it had been sent through the postal system it would never have passed successfully through the franking machines without damaging the envelope. This had been hand delivered.
The sender, who must have run out of sellotape, had poured wax over the back of it. Very Jane Austen, I thought, but ho hum, I can stand it at the back if I don’t like it when I get it open. You get a sense with cards as you are opening them don’t you? It’s a bit like you almost know if you are going to like them just a second before they emerge out of the envelope. I was right about this one. It was one for the back row. A botanical print over-egged with cursive scrolls and fol-de-rols emerged announcing the sender’s surname. Wow! Thought I, that’s a bit over the top. Well, being truthful I actually thought it looked a bit pretentious but it’s Christmas - good will and all that good stuff. It was just like a small wedding invitation. Inside, gentle reader (yes, this tedium does continue so please bear with…) was a packet with more botanical printing on the front. I stifled a yawn and turned it over a few times until my eyes adjusted to the loopy lettering and the packet told me it contained seeds from the sender‘s garden.
Now, I’m not the brightest heavy spade in the garden shed, so this gave me a dilemma. The packet had been sent without instructions. It didn’t tell me when to plant the seeds and
most importantly didn’t tell me what the wretched things were! I mean would I want beetroots or whatever growing under the laundry window? Were they vegetables? Were they flowers? What were they? Where should I plant them? When should I plant them? Were the seeds all one species or had they been mixed together? I think different plants like different soils and light in order to grow, but don’t quote me on that. I mean, I’m only a landscaper…I tried telephoning the sender in order to make a polite enquiry about the contents of my particular seed packet but the line was constantly engaged. Probably a load of other seed recipients all asking the same questions. I did what most would do in the end - I threw the packet in the
‘odds ‘n’ sods’ drawer in the kitchen. Knowing me, I’ll forget all about it.
Peace on earth, piece on earth, peas on earth
