I have thought he may be a victim of coercive control. This is now a recognised reason for divorce. I don’t know all the ins and outs but someone experiencing it may not be aware it’s actually happening. I remember there was a video where she told him she was going to get very drunk that night and the look of horror on his face was palpable and stopped him dead in his tracks - maybe because he knew he would be in for it. I wonder if his family and friends ever want to do an intervention. He’s become a shadow of who he was and is now putting out work where he is clearly marching to the beat of her drum and as a result making himself look a bit odd (empty briefcase business man ) to say the least. His dress sense can be a little old shall we say? It never used to be.
Yee i agree wand I have often wondered this too.
Thing is, even back in the day I found Ali the more softer/ gentle of the two. He's always been so natural around animals and people,and I felt he used to bring out Lydia's softer side, especially in the first house. And when they were in that house they were much more tactile and genuinely in love. He had lots of friends and was always going out with them, and he would go to the gym and work hard with his electrician stuff.
But since the bunga, its all changed. I don't know whether Ali felt in the shadows when Lydia's earning power was at its peak, but somewhere along the line, his gentleness could not outweigh her control. He does everything to please her out of fear he might upset her, but what sort of relationship is that? Lydia has proved time and time again with other people that she can't be reasoned with. I find it desperately sad.
He doesn't seem to have many interests of his own where she has not had some sort of influence, which strikes me as hugely concerning too. Don't get me wrong most of the stuff he does is totally cringe and he is just as much as a poser than Lydia, but part of me always has a soft spot for Ali.
He's always loved animals and his family, and even now his respect for women, people and responsibilities is showing up by this lack of voice he has in his relationship. I find alot (not all)of his qualities as a man as really admirable and I wish more men were like that. The difference is Lydia sees these qualities as a weakness and as a result walks all over him. I do think there will come a time though that Ali will get so fed up that he has no choice but to walk away from her for his own sanity, it may take years but I do feel he will.
His old friends always seemed so normal and down to earth and maybe one day when he's with them and they've all had families of their own and he sees the love and equality in theirrelationships..... he will open his eyes and realise just how far he's drifted.
For me, il always be rooting for Ali to be happy. I honestly think Lydia is toxic and she rots everything around her.