Congratulations to
@TheMushroom for the clever thread title with 35 votes!
* We "slowly transition into Spring" in Lidl-land, while freezing our socks off in mid Winter IRL.
* She's "hibernating" to wait out the bad weather. We thought it was Spring?
* She's slowing down as she hits the ground running. Don't you speed up?
* Lidl claims to be into vintage, luxe and heritage. That'll be Amazon and H&M then!
* "The consensus" is we are confused about her style after her H&M haul saw Lidl dressing as a 75 year old cruise ship passenger.
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* Her hair is looking fried and she's "marinating" it in (hair) olive oil.
* After slagging off Dyson, Lidl's beg for a Dyson Airwrap failed! She had to BUY one for her UNSPONSORED review!
* If she hates the Dyson she will be giving it away to one of her subs!
* Her first attempt to curl her "coarse and frizzy hair" resulted in a Violet Elizabeth Bott 'lewk'.
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* She won't take some influencer's word on tiktok before buying something...but she expects us to!
* After spending £7k on her vintage Kelly our punctuation eschewing Lidl said: "I don't think they (Hermès) are wow pieces to me they are very understated and that's why I like them x"
* She's named the vintage Kelly
Hyacinth Margo. She bought it... but in years to come it will have been handed down in the family.
* We were shocked at the condition of Margo. Beaten up, tarnished and scratched ....and dare we say, red.
* She went to see her Nonna and cried because she
missed her grandfather doesn't have anything her master tailor Nonno made.
* She's been busy getting her lips dyed coral and her eyebrows microbladed to save time......for beauty appointments!
* Lidl appeared in
The Sun. Thankfully not page 3! Our wonder of nature hit the headlines with claims her hair grows inches in a matter of weeks.
* The new oak shed, complete with porch/woodstore, now has lighting and the fire is on in the Greedhouse. When fully lit The Bunga causes a surge in the National Grid.
* #pastagate - Tattlers were apoplectic at the sight of Lidl's fusilli and veg sauce. Less Napoli and more Ricky!
In other news:
* Ali is on a shoe shine "journey" having been deprived of a polishing kit as a child.
* We were concerned at the state of the gravy on Ali's Sunday roast. Insipid and thin, just like him!
* Vic is doing an ad for the latest LV collab. Lidl is not impressed.