If I may proffer some further thoughts regarding Savoygate.
Firstly, some people have speculated that this might be a guerilla marketing exercise deliberately strategised to heighten engagement. I think it was purely a tactless guffawing blunder borne of low emotional intelligence.
Regarding Lydia’s response to the scenario, I imagine that this will have elicited some initial serious anxiety. Inducing shame in an individual with traits that might resemble narcissism can be a dangerous thing to do. I would not recommend doing so in a one-on-one setting. Let us remember that narcissistic traits evolve as an overcompensatory mechanism to protect an individual who has experienced some sort of catastrophic ego wounding. Inducing shame in a person with narcissistic traits can trigger those agonising feelings of chronic worthlessness that they try so hard to conceal and distract themselves from. Control is essential, and being out of control of the narrative can have dire consequences for the person with narcissistic traits who might resort to extreme acts to regain a sense of control. I think they may experience a flash of a diluted form of guilt- but to a lesser extent than would be commensurate for the situation. Next is the cascade of overcompensatory defence mechanisms. Denial! Projection! Splitting! Gaslighting! This is what we observe in the responses to comments. Then an emancipation tale emerges where the person with narcissistic traits emerges victorious over the naysayers, much like Shia and his ego death, or the proverbial “Phoenix from the ashes”. The defence mechanisms double down, insulating the person with narcissistic traits from accepting responsibility for self-scrutiny or behavioural change. That is why, in my belief, these patterns seem to atrophy over the years and often the individual in question appears to become more obnoxious and outlandish over time. It really is a pathological cycle and one that I do feel compassion toward, though I have learned to temper that compassion over the years… The balance must be found between rational compassion for this awful clearly trauma-based pattern and the need for each individual taking responsibility for their lives.
Actually, this whole process I have described is what led me to first comment on Tattle recently, because I was disturbed that Lydia discussed Shia’s redemption narrative and I felt it might induce narcissistic abuse survivors to break their “no contact“ regime. I posted accordingly on her YouTube, was swiftly silenced, so here I am.
So how do we give feedback to the individual with narcissistic traits? All interaction is positive and reinforcing. Praise, criticism - it’s all the same, functioning as “fuel” to feed the cycle. The only was is through cutting off the supply. No contact is the only way. Consider here how the distraction of social media might function to prevent a person with these traits from ever addressing their deeper core wounds.
I think this whole Savoy-gate saga would initially be experienced as very anxiety provoking, albeit in a morbidly thrilling way. The enablers will be recruited to bind wounds and tend to the wounded inner child that might erupt into fits of tears, rage, or frantic self-justification. The hardest part will be when the attention peters out and the potential social consequences of exclusion begin to become apparent.