Please can I book you to come here for my long overdue life revue? I am available on Monday between the hours of 8pm and 5am and we can do it in the newly stocked cellar?She could still pivot and save the day.
I'm feeling generous, Lydia, buzzing from the very unhealthy sugar free Redbull I've just guzzled.
1. Send Nicky a private apology and beg for forgiveness. No excuses or reasons, just own up to how horrible you behaved and continued to behave. Don't say things like "I'm sorry you were hurt or offended". That is a tit apology. Clearly state that you were horrible, you know you were horrible and you are deeply sorry for all the trauma she experienced and abuse you unleashed on her and her business. This step must be completed privately; not blasted on social media. This is for Nicky alone.
2. Make a video acknowledging your failure with Globy. Admit the customer service was abysmal, pricing far too high and everything is much regretted. Say you're sorry looking straight at the camera. Again, give no excuses, just own up to it because you were the boss and it was YOUR failure.
3. In this same video, admit to the bullying and freak out at Nicky Lazou. The internet all knows about it, so don't try to pussyfoot around it. Own up to your behavior clearly and without excuse. Apologize profusely to her again in the video and let the audience know you've also apologized privately.
4. Announce that the economy has shifted everything for you and Ali. Interest rates are rising, everyone knows this. Be open and say you must downsize and are taking the audience with you. Meet with financial advisors and film them explaining how to downsize in the most efficient way. Emphasize how important it is to tackle debt now more than ever. And throw in an investment person to talk about investing for retirement. This would bring you a fuckton of engagement.
5. Take the audience with you as you scope out properties. This would be a gold mine of content. It's relatable and would give you back the sympathy of the public at large. The same audience that is having to tighten its belt as well. No shame in battening the hatches for the bumpy financial storm everyone in the world is experiencing. In fact, it would show you are shrewd and relatable. You can redo the new property with thoughtful care of cost and bring it to your "sympathetic" standards.
6. Physically donate all your extra stuff. Beauty goods (unopened), house goods, clothing, accessories, etc. Show the real time process and show how wonderful it feels to be charitable.
7. Make a vlog deciding which vehicle to keep. You don't need 3 cars. Both you and Ali always use car services or taxis anyways. In fact, get a smaller car. This would tickle everyone that is concerned with the environment. And explain how the savings on fuel costs alone make it worth it.
8. Sock away all the money that will be pouring in from all the brands willing to work with you again. Remember the mistakes that got you into this disaster and choose your actions and words carefully in the future. Lighten up on the tweaks to your face and stop dissing Alex on film. Grit your teeth and remember if you can't say anything nice while filming or posting, shut up.
There - I just saved your career. Your marriage is another story.
