Lucy Letby Case #4

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there are two words above “I killed them on purpose because I am not good enough to care for them” which could make that sentence completely different. But I can’t make out what they are.

For example if it was ‘they think’ or ‘they said’ but I don’t think it is, but it’s something…
the first word is definitely “they” imo, but i can’t make the second one out at all. looks like it starts with an i?

edit: actually, the second word looks like “can’t” to me - there appears to be an apostrophe. that doesn’t really fit with the rest though, but it’s such an agitated note that it’s hard to know what links to what in places.
 
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Why was she writing about the police in her note? How did she know they were coming? This is all so weird...
I assume that she would have had meetings at the hospital about her conduct and they would have told her it had been referred to the police.
 
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the first word is definitely “they” imo, but i can’t make the second one out at all. looks like it starts with an i?

edit: actually, the second word looks like “can’t” to me - there appears to be an apostrophe. that doesn’t really fit with the rest though, but it’s such an agitated note that it’s hard to know what links to what in places.
Does it not say ‘like they used to be’?

Edited to add I am reading wrong part. I also think it says can’t I can see the apostrophe too
 
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the first word is definitely “they” imo, but i can’t make the second one out at all. looks like it starts with an i?

edit: actually, the second word looks like “can’t” to me - there appears to be an apostrophe. that doesn’t really fit with the rest though, but it’s such an agitated note that it’s hard to know what links to what in places.
I read it as “I don’t deserve to live, they can’t, I killed them on purpose” go back & look & you’ll see it 💔
 
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the first word is definitely “they” imo, but i can’t make the second one out at all. looks like it starts with an i?

edit: actually, the second word looks like “can’t” to me - there appears to be an apostrophe. that doesn’t really fit with the rest though, but it’s such an agitated note that it’s hard to know what links to what in places.
I think it says "they won't", following the paragraph above it, "how will things ever be like they used to"
 
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the first word is definitely “they” imo, but i can’t make the second one out at all. looks like it starts with an i?

edit: actually, the second word looks like “can’t” to me - there appears to be an apostrophe. that doesn’t really fit with the rest though, but it’s such an agitated note that it’s hard to know what links to what in places.
It looks to me like
“How can things ever be like they used to be.
They can’t. I did this. I don’t deserve to live.
I killed them on purpose because I’m not good enough to care for them and I am a horrible evil person”
 
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the first word is definitely “they” imo, but i can’t make the second one out at all. looks like it starts with an i?

edit: actually, the second word looks like “can’t” to me - there appears to be an apostrophe. that doesn’t really fit with the rest though, but it’s such an agitated note that it’s hard to know what links to what in places.
This is a reach I’m probably for talk wrong. But does it maybe say ‘they can’t (someone’s name) did this’ aka blaming whoever for it. I’m thinking this as you can see that black line going up slightly in between the ‘Can’t’ and ‘did’ and there looks to be a word at the end of the line like she’s tried to add it in. But then she’s gone over the added word when she’s circled the ‘HATE’ in the bold circle.
 
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why doesn’t this surprise me 🤦🏼‍♀️ i can’t believe someone actually made this.

Does it not say ‘like they used to be’?
the “they used to be” carries on a straight line (and is partially lost under the dark circle around “hate”) - i think @Moronic is referring to the two words above “i killed them…” which don’t seem to be related to anything else.

It looks to me like
“How can things ever be like they used to be.
They can’t. I did this. I don’t deserve to live.
I killed them on purpose because I’m not good enough to care for them and I am a horrible evil person”
i think you’re right - it definitely looks like “they can’t” to me.
 
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What I don't get is that as instances of these sort of deteriorations are so rare, why this cluster wasn't picked up sooner and why nothing was done? I don't mean suspecting or accusing anyone even, just measures put in place to figure out what was going on, we have plans in place if needed for this kind of thing. Obviously don't know ins and outs and I know doctors did pick up on it but whatever happened there needs to be a better contingency surely.
 
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Now I have looked again I defo think it says ‘how can things ever be like they used to they can’t ‘
 
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You can still be in the NICU and be pretty certain your baby will be coming home (obviously no one can be 100% certain) but it seems these babies were doing very well despite everything going on and the deaths were not expected. I also think some of these babies need more credit yes there is always set backs but a lot of babies these days will come out the other side and just need some extra help so to keep loosing babies one after the other is a bit strange regardless of if she is innocent or not
Exactly, babies "who had not been unstable at all" or "on the mend", "suddenly deteriorated", "for no reason at all".
These unusual cases followed her from night shift to day shift. It's not a coincidence.
 
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The experts would have analysed that note 100s of times. They will know exactly what is says.
 
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Its an interesting one regarding the NG. The stomach of a neonate is tiny, and even though you can put air down an NG - their abdomen would have been massively distended, surely another member of staff would have noted this? It wouldn't have been a case of popping air down a tube and a quick death.

Edit: Im not sure if the baby was intubated either. When a baby/child has a cardiac arrest they will be venilating by hand until a breathing tube is in. Ventilation by hand can cause a huge build up of air in the stomach too. Theres a lot of finer details we don't know.
They’ve touched upon this. CPAP can also result in abdominal gas.
 
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Exactly, babies "who had not been unstable at all" or "on the mend", "suddenly deteriorated", "for no reason at all".
These unusual cases followed her from night shift to day shift. It's not a coincidence.
That’s what I think too but defence saying they were ill from the start/when lucy was no where near. Babies on the NICU including my own baby always had episodes of not breathing (forgetting they need to breath) which i was told was normal. I do wonder what defence mean by that because it is obviously they aren’t going to be 100% healthy hence why they are there but NICU doesn’t mean a death sentence.
 
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The evidence s
I am trying to catch up, I’m still on the previous thread and think there will be a new one before I get to this one.

I was a neonatal nurse, 11 years ago now. I will try as others have to answer any questions etc, but be aware that best practices change, especially after more than 10 years although many fundamentals stay the same.

I have thought about this, an honestly I worked in a brilliant NICU (high dependency)which was also a SCBU (for babies who need help feeding mainly)
Our high dependency was a room with a 360 nurses station in the middle and incubators around the walls, hope that explains it.
But people get busy, and engrossed in what they are doing. Often babies would stop breathing, (and this might sound awful) but a quick tap of the pedal to make the incubator move up or down would be enough to give the baby a little shock and remind them that they need to breathe. (I have seen people asking how common these deteriorations can be) in my experience these little episodes are quite frequent. The only child death we had in the three years while I worked there was a full term baby who had complications, very sick babies were transferred to a specialist children's hospital close by.
There are numerous times in a day when you are preoccupied with your patients, talking to parents, or simply running to the lav, simple things happen numerous times a day where your trusting your colleagues and they have times where they are ‘unsupervised’
She could have easily had syringes prepared with medication in her pocket, just waiting on an opportunity to strike. So in plain sight if you understand me.

I don’t really know my point in saying this, it has probably been covered 100s of times, but I feel better getting it off my chest and sharing.
So 7 death in LL's hands within a year, it's total abnormal right?
 
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Looking through everything, the stories, the notes.. I always usually have an ‘innocent until proven guilty’ stance but this is just another level. There is no way all these babies have coincidentally died.
 
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