Looking at the note, the word panic was, I believe, part of another sentence; “… I can’t focus everyday for that overwhelming fear/panic” and then the bit about “I’ll never have children” is a diff sentence written in between the lines of that. The right side of the post it has more blunt words and fewer full sentences on it.When she says panic I won’t have children and marry . Do you think she said that because she was being charged with murders .