Louise McSharry Moaning Michael her brows are a fright, views so left, she's always right

[Kinvarra]

It’s mad isn’t it. Nuance, kindness, trying to change the landscape a little, walking a mile in someone else’s shoes - be gone.

*Mind you I’ve read a lot of the worst fat hate is from self hating fats.

My darling cousin (mentioned above) bought upgraded long haul flight seats (to front row ones) for her and me and my other cousin. Retrospectively I realise it was because she wanted the room and must have been having some anxiety about the 13 hour flight. She framed it as her treat.

*This isn’t meant to be at all aggressive.

 

[JillZarin]

It’s mad isn’t it. Nuance, kindness, try to change the settings, walking a mile in someone else’s shoes - be gone.

Mind you I’ve read a lot of the worst fat hate is from self hating fats.

I hadn't heard that before but I can see how it could be true, it can be quite a challenge to love yourself when you're fat. Easier to join in with everyone else hating your body.

 

[rantingqueen]

Fat activists? Even the phrase is an oxymoron.

I say that as someone who is grossly overweight myself.

It’s a phrase I’m not overly comfortable using tbh. It can sound mean, but I think the logic is taking ownership of the word & reducing the negative connotations.

The hypocrisy irritates me. How can you be like “stop talking about body size” if you make your weight your identity.

 

[Kinvarra]

Society has imposed said personality on fat people no? (Stupid, lazy, dirty). I think it’s alright to turn that on it’s head, refute it? Literally take up your space in a world telling you you’re only any good if you shrink yourself. Raise awareness about the things (as outlined in her IG story) that many are just crashing through, causing hurt, being unthinking etc?

I dunno. I’m not big, in the sheme of things, and I have always found it very easy to understand what’s trying to be achieved here and be sympathetic to what I am being told. Be open to learning.

 

[rantingqueen]

Society has imposed said personality on fat people no? (Stupid, lazy, dirty). I think I too to turn that on it’s head, refute it?

Which is totally fair to want to stop that bs. Making people feel crap is never going to help anything.

I just find it really unhelpful when people say I can’t feel tit about my body because I’m smaller. I’ve been close to Louise’s size. I hated it. Now I’m wearing kids sizes & being warned by docs I’m at high risk of sudden cardiac death because I starve myself to feel better. My feelings about my body, or upset at not getting clothes in my size, are not more or less important than someone with a higher weight, but I get told it’s totally different and my opinion isn’t relevant.

 

[JillZarin]

Which is totally fair to want to stop that bs. Making people feel crap is never going to help anything.

I just find it really unhelpful when people say I can’t feel tit about my body because I’m smaller. I’ve been close to Louise’s size. I hated it. Now I’m wearing kids sizes & being warned by docs I’m at high risk of sudden cardiac death because I starve myself to feel better. My feelings about my body, or upset at not getting clothes in my size, are not more or less important than someone with a higher weight, but I get told it’s totally different and my opinion isn’t relevant.

I hope you're OK. You're opinion is so relevant. And your experience wouldn't be unlike many others. Take care of yourself

 

[Kinvarra]

I don’t think it’s irrelevant. That sounds frightening and I am sorry for your struggle.

i think maybe that is separate from when it’s framed in that awful general chat all women have to hand “I have put on <<insert weight gain>> “ I am a loser, and disgusting and worthless” , “ooh i am ever so naughty I had that biscuit”if you understand that a person in a bigger body will hear that as “I too am a loser, disgusting, worthless” or “eating that biscuit is foul” ….I dunno maybe we could all change the way we talk about this stuff?

 

[JJJ1234]

Louise needs to stop trying to control whatever everyone else is saying and just get on with her own life.

She defines herself by her weight. No one else.people can say what they want about their own bodies. If Louise makes that about her then that’s her issue, not theirs.

Louise needs to stop trying to control whatever everyone else is saying and just get on with her own life.

She defines herself by her weight. No one else.


people can say what they want about their own bodies. If Louise makes that about her then that’s her issue, not theirs.

Absolutely. Weight and the whole culture around it is so complex and people have their own perceptions and experiences. Some go through life never processing their feelings around their weight or other people’s and some (including myself) have struggled with all of it. Louise can and should only speak for herself. She is categorizing every person who is overweight as feeling as she does. Part of the issue around weight and body image is that ones feelings around it is not one size fits all, pardon the pun, and she cannot presume to know how every fat person feels.

Which is totally fair to want to stop that bs. Making people feel crap is never going to help anything.

I just find it really unhelpful when people say I can’t feel tit about my body because I’m smaller. I’ve been close to Louise’s size. I hated it. Now I’m wearing kids sizes & being warned by docs I’m at high risk of sudden cardiac death because I starve myself to feel better. My feelings about my body, or upset at not getting clothes in my size, are not more or less important than someone with a higher weight, but I get told it’s totally different and my opinion isn’t relevant.

Of course it is not different. Unfortunately, from a societal point of view, your issue isn’t seen as a problem because you look the way you should (not my opinion btw). Yours is a hidden struggle and unfortunately usually doesn’t get the support it deserves. Like many issues ( gambling, substance abuse etc.,), when people can function typically and present a certain way, their dissatisfaction and struggle can be invisible to others. When it comes to weight, it does seem to be harder for people to relate to someone who is at the lower end of the weight spectrum because they appear to be (visually) where others strive to be. I don’t know that we will get to where we need to be, but I wish you well.

 

[Heygooooyyyyzzzzz]

Which is totally fair to want to stop that bs. Making people feel crap is never going to help anything.

I just find it really unhelpful when people say I can’t feel tit about my body because I’m smaller. I’ve been close to Louise’s size. I hated it. Now I’m wearing kids sizes & being warned by docs I’m at high risk of sudden cardiac death because I starve myself to feel better. My feelings about my body, or upset at not getting clothes in my size, are not more or less important than someone with a higher weight, but I get told it’s totally different and my opinion isn’t relevant.

I 100% agree with this. I’m an ED survivor but I have to fight constant triggers to not give in to it every day ( for me when things are out of control, what can I control; my food). If I then put on weight I feel even more out of control. So it’s a vicious circle. Just because I am technically considered “thin” doesn’t mean I don’t have my own struggles with my MH and my body.

On a similar note I have a friend that uses the pig emoji every time she has a “treat” like a croissant or cake etc and it drives me mad. So I guess I see Louise’s point but I think she could have framed her own message a bit better - as someone else said it’s about the language used rather than the person expressing their opinion about their own body.

 

[Heygooooyyyyzzzzz]

I unfollowed her a while ago ( her thing today showed up in my feed) so I’ve just gone and had a snoop of her page. Does she ever smile? She looks angry all the time

 

[girlygirl774]

And the last few comments are one of the many reasons why fat people don't discuss how they feel about their bodies or how 'harmless' comments make them feel or why they feel shame when talking about being uncomfortable in an aeroplane seat or hotel bath.

Exactly.
I think people who are normal sized (I use that term purposefully- our society looks at normal and abnormal sizing), cannot imagine what it’s like. I’m sorry, but imagine not being able to find clothing easily. Being told you’re disgusting. You should just ‘fix it’. Always being referred to as “the bigger girl” or “sure she has a really pretty face”.There are sooooo many examples.

maybe Louise upsets some people because she cuts a bit close to the bone?

 

[Sleepyjean123]

I think so many of the points made here are totally valid and completely relatable but what seems to be going over the heads of many people is something which Louise herself has often said which is that fat does not = unhealthy. You can be a size 22 and have perfect bloods, good fitness and no health problems and feel fine you can be a size 10 have poor fitness and be extremely nutritionally unhealthy. I’m a size 20 but yet not deemed big enough to qualify for a vaccine based on BMI so you can’t take looks or figures and assume to know enough about anyone’s state of health. Health does not equate with size and while society has set a standard and it’s important to change perceptions and Louise has made really good points in relation to this, a smaller or skinnier person saying actually I went on an awful binge and I feel so fat etc or my clothes look awful on me today is as valid as anyone of a different size saying it and so closely linked to mental health and expressing your feelings to the right people should never be problematic. I agree that it is about knowing your audience too and who to say it to but if you feel tit you should be able to say it to the right people. I feel that Louise lately has been so angry and aggressive in her commentary about this that her message has descended into something totally different and yesterday mornings IGTV came across all wrong.

 

[Idon'twanttobehere]

I think so many of the points made here are totally valid and completely relatable but what seems to be going over the heads of many people is something which Louise herself has often said which is that fat does not = unhealthy. You can be a size 22 and have perfect bloods, good fitness and no health problems and feel fine you can be a size 10 have poor fitness and be extremely nutritionally unhealthy. I’m a size 20 but yet not deemed big enough to qualify for a vaccine based on BMI so you can’t take looks or figures and assume to know enough about anyone’s state of health. Health does not equate with size and while society has set a standard and it’s important to change perceptions and Louise has made really good points in relation to this, a smaller or skinnier person saying actually I went on an awful binge and I feel so fat etc or my clothes look awful on me today is as valid as anyone of a different size saying it and so closely linked to mental health and expressing your feelings to the right people should never be problematic. I agree that it is about knowing your audience too and who to say it to but if you feel tit you should be able to say it to the right people. I feel that Louise lately has been so angry and aggressive in her commentary about this that her message has descended into something totally different and yesterday mornings IGTV came across all wrong.

This is so well put empathy is lost when we start wanting to silencing those who we deem to have it easy. You don't know anyones battles, you cannot assume that one person is healthy and another is not based on their size.
I think Louise could have good points but she just comes across so angry and unhappy all the time that they are totally lost.

 

[Sooz]

I also feel that it really undercuts Louise's message about bigger people not necessarily being less healthy when she is breathless when walking.

So I always find it a bit disengenuous because she's not "fit at any size" . She's not particularly fit.

 

[starryeyed10]

I find the health point not very useful anyway because we shouldn't comment on people's size whether they are healthy or not. People of different sizes and healthy or unhealthy deserve respect. I don't mind her using the term fatphobic, people do need to educate themselves about that. I think what she said is fair enough but I do agree she cannot dictate how other people feel about their bodies. We are all a product of a misogynistic looks based society. I'm "straight" sized and I've been guilty of what she is describing. I think knowing your audience is important like another poster said. And I am also generally trying to move away from commenting on looks or anybody's weight. Try to give compliments that aren't related to appearance. It's easier for me to not scrutinise others but harder for me to not scrutinise myself but I'm getting there . I think she made some valid points in fairness, people could be more mindful of the people around them when mentioning these things or even try to not mention appearances at all.

But I do get where the other posters are coming from with their comments. it's a complicated topic.

 

[Heygooooyyyyzzzzz]

I think so many of the points made here are totally valid and completely relatable but what seems to be going over the heads of many people is something which Louise herself has often said which is that fat does not = unhealthy. You can be a size 22 and have perfect bloods, good fitness and no health problems and feel fine you can be a size 10 have poor fitness and be extremely nutritionally unhealthy. I’m a size 20 but yet not deemed big enough to qualify for a vaccine based on BMI so you can’t take looks or figures and assume to know enough about anyone’s state of health. Health does not equate with size and while society has set a standard and it’s important to change perceptions and Louise has made really good points in relation to this, a smaller or skinnier person saying actually I went on an awful binge and I feel so fat etc or my clothes look awful on me today is as valid as anyone of a different size saying it and so closely linked to mental health and expressing your feelings to the right people should never be problematic. I agree that it is about knowing your audience too and who to say it to but if you feel tit you should be able to say it to the right people. I feel that Louise lately has been so angry and aggressive in her commentary about this that her message has descended into something totally different and yesterday mornings IGTV came across all wrong.

Brilliantly put

 

[Stillwater]

I thought she explained herself really, really well.

 

[AnnaBananaPie]

On a health note

I am struggling to understand how being obese can be healthy?

I always thought it led to higher risks of certain diseases , heart disease, high cholesterol , cancers stroke etc

Even excess weight is harder on joints like knees or your back? (Colleague suffers because of her weight with her knees)

 

[Idon'twanttobehere]

On a health note

I am struggling to understand how being obese can be healthy?

I always thought it led to higher risks of certain diseases , heart disease, high cholesterol , cancers stroke etc

Even excess weight is harder on joints like knees or your back? (Colleague suffers because of her weight with her knees)

I am a size 10/12 and a few years ago when I was 8/10 I had really really high cholesterol. Weight doesn't necessarily correlate with health. I had a really bad diet and was nearly totally inactive and it was reflected in my bloods!
In my opinion it is fitness not size that counts when it comes to health. I am not a medical professional but I really do think this is the case.

 

[Jollyolly]

I never really gave this whole issue much thought until I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes.
I was a size 10 when I got pregnant but because I was over 40, I was booked in for a glucose tolerance test at 28 weeks based on my age alone.
Went in that morning and did the test and got a call from a midwife that evening to say I had gestational diabetes and booked me in to see a dietitian the following week.
She was SO snotty with me on the phone, eg I asked ok well what do I need to do between now and the dietitian appointment and she actually said "well lay off the Mars bars now".
As it happened, I had a routine midwife visit the following day, and as it happened it was the same midwife who had called me the evening before. She calls me in and was like a different person, nice as pie and says oh god love you, you're having an awful time of it with the diabetes, "and you're not big at all".
I'm assuming the implication there was that if I was overweight it would have been my own fault.
I'm often sorry I didn't speak up at the time and pull her up on it.