Louise McSharry Moaning Michael her brows are a fright, views so left, she's always right

[Shivers1983]

Did anyone see her insta tv this morning on not making fatphobic comments about your own body because it hurts her. She’s in a seriously bad space about her own weight. I’m not a skinny mini myself but if you have put on weight it can make you feel tit. So now people have to keep their feelings about their own body and how it’s making them feel to themselves to save hers. She’s really lost the plot. Getting the vaccine must have triggered a fresh wave of anger in her and it’s worse she’s getting about it as time goes by. Sometimes she can make good points with regard to fat phobia bmi plus size issues but she’s lost the plot if she’s thinking she telling people what to say to save her feelings is okay.

no I agree with her this morning. I’ve friends whose comments about their weight and other peoples weight seriously affect me. They make the nastiest comments about overweight people whilst I’m in their company, and I’m sitting here thinking what do they really think of me, are they disgusted with me? Girls who are a size 8 who tell me they look disgusting cos they have put on 5lbs while I’m a size 16 so must horrify them.

 

[Sleepyjean123]

no I agree with her this morning. I’ve friends whose comments about their weight and other peoples weight seriously affect me. They make the nastiest comments about overweight people whilst I’m in their company, and I’m sitting here thinking what do they really think of me, are they disgusted with me? Girls who are a size 8 who tell me they look disgusting cos they have put on 5lbs while I’m a size 16 so must horrify them.

No I understand what you’re saying but I think commenting on other peoples weight is different to commenting on your own. If you feel awful in your own body NOBODY has any right to tell you how to feel in your OWN body or to keep your opinion on how your feeling to yourself. That’s a totally slippery slope to go down and completely different to making comments about other peoples bodies. Putting on weight can make you feel crap and I’d only dream of being a size 16 again so I get the fat phobic comments but I think it’s dangerous to go around the place telling people what they can and can’t say about themselves. Everyone’s body is different.

 

[Shivers1983]

No I understand what you’re saying but I think commenting on other peoples weight is different to commenting on your own. If you feel awful in your own body NOBODY has any right to tell you how to feel in your OWN body or to keep your opinion on how your feeling to yourself. That’s a totally slippery slope to go down and completely different to making comments about other peoples bodies. Putting on weight can make you feel crap and I’d only dream of being a size 16 again so I get the fat phobic comments but I think it’s dangerous to go around the place telling people what they can and can’t say about themselves. Everyone’s body is different.

I can see what you are saying but it’s still very hurtful. I think she was trying to say think about what you say before you speak and know your audience

 

[Vesuvius]

My sister is a size 8 and obsessive about her weight. I'm a size 18. I'm not happy about it, she sure as hell doesn't seem happy about her size either. But when she stands there in a tiny dress in a shop that doesn't even stock my size and pokes at her non existent tummy and tells me she looks huge, that is hurtful to me.
Its about knowing your audience. She can say 'do I look good in this dress?' rather than 'does this dress make me look fat?'.
When my five year old says I have a fat tummy I don't go "I do, don't I? I hate it..." I say "We all have different size tummies and I love my tummy because it gave me you!" she doesn't need to know my real feelings about it because they might have an impact on her opinions of herself. Simples.

 

[JillZarin]

I think Louise made a extremely valid point and I'm so glad she is talking about this.

 

[IGer1]

Anyone know who she is taking about this morning?

 

[Lucylululu]

Anyone know who she is taking about this morning?

I wanna know this too. Although I have to respect her for not saying who, as I can’t stand when Instagrammers with big followings throw people to their followers for abuse in response to some comment they’ve made. When I used to follow Graham Linehan back in the day on Twitter before he became problematic he did this all the time. Laura Whitmore is another one, and Rosie Ramsey

 

[Kinvarra]

I totally agree with her. I remember my mother lamenting the changing of sizes M&S meaning she was in a size 14, having been a proud 10 -12 all her life (she was the same size as ever it must have been a very mean design or M&S were going through a phase of inconsistency size wise). Me an actual teenage size 14. Absolutely cut me.

Louise has even gone so far as to say, people can say what they like about their bodies but if you learn along the way that it hurts others, and you still choose to do it on public platforms, that is knowingly hurtful, and she will take issue with it. As is her right.

I have a very large cousin who’s sister (also my cousin) is neurotic about her weight and enters into that type of chat. It absolutely makes my ears ring. Can she not imagine how it must make her sister, not bopo at all, feel?

 

[Sooz]

I dunno, in the comments a lot of people were saying their thin friends had casually made those comments about themselves in conversation and they were just sitting there and it made them feel awful.

And I get it, if you're a size 22 and your size 10 friend is like OMG I've put on 5 lbs, I'm suuuuuuch a fat pig OMG....it would be horrible. You'd be there thinking well I guess you just think I'm a fat pig then?

It's no harm if people don't do that in front of their fat friends.

That said, when she uses the term fatphobic I think it muddies the message. Because it's unclear what that means and it has a political undertone. I was confused at first because I thought this random IGer was being mean about someone else, and it took me a while to figure out Louise meant she was being fatphobic towards herself and then I was confused by that. It took me halfway through to catch up with what was going on, and it was because she used the term fatphobic about 5 times.

Far better to just use plain English and say "this person was saying horrible things about herself in the context of feeling fat. It may make her friends and followers who are fatter than her feel like she would view them poorly because of their size. Let's be aware of that if we're putting stuff out on such a public platform. People will not just have slim followers"

She would probably say she's trying to educate people about the definition of fatphobia and that's fine but these terms can be a hindrance when you've only got 1 minute to tell a story.

 

[Thump]

no I agree with her this morning. I’ve friends whose comments about their weight and other peoples weight seriously affect me. They make the nastiest comments about overweight people whilst I’m in their company, and I’m sitting here thinking what do they really think of me, are they disgusted with me? Girls who are a size 8 who tell me they look disgusting cos they have put on 5lbs while I’m a size 16 so must horrify them.

Sorry but your friends are just not nice people if they make, as you say, the nastiest comments about overweight people. Of course they are not going to care how you feel if that’s the type of people they are. They need to cop on and you should be pulling them up on it. Would you let racist or sexist comments slide too? If they make you feel bad you need to rethink your circle of friends.

 

[JillZarin]

People don't realise they are even doing it. At work (precovid) we would sit around together for lunch, my closest friend in the group, a size 4/6 would regularly call herself a "fattie" because she was eating a large lunch, or she took a biscuit at the end of lunch. I have been every size from a 12-22 and every single time she did it it hurt.
I was having a chat with another friend about a year ago and we were talking about FBG. My friend described her as a 'big fat nit'. Not in a group conversation but in a one-to-one. I still haven't forgotten that.
They genuinely don't even realise that these comments are hurtful. That's why I think Louise's IGTV is so beneficial. Creating awareness.

Sorry but your friends are just not nice people if they make, as you say, the nastiest comments about overweight people. Of course they are not going to care how you feel if that’s the type of people they are. They need to cop on and you should be pulling them up on it. Would you let racist or sexist comments slide too? If they make you feel bad you need to rethink your circle of friends.

 

[Kinvarra]

Internalised fatphobia is a fairly common phrase in the “movement”. I’d say most women have a dose of it.

Should @Shivers1983 be pulling her friends up? I’d say that’s a intimidating and anxiety inducing thing to take on. But wonderfully cut and dried advice up there anyway.

 

[Thump]

Internalised fatphobia is a fairly common phrase in the “movement”. I’d say most women have a dose of it.

Should @Shivers1983 be pulling her friends up? I’d say that’s a intimidating and anxiety inducing thing to take on. But wonderfully cut and dried advice up there anyway.

I’ve pulled family members up such comments very recently. It’s the people making the comments who should be left feeling anxious and ashamed of themselves but they will continue on being nasty while others sit there in their company and say nothing.

 

[Kinvarra]

That’s amazing for you. Not all of us have the power dynamic, energy levels, head space to do that sadly.

In my example above, I would have been told, quite harshly, not to be silly. Dissent isn’t allowed towards the seniors in my family. Especially the mother unit.

 

[Thump]

That’s amazing for you. Not all of us have the power dynamic, energy levels, head space to do that.

To be honest if they really are your friends it shouldn’t be that hard. They should hear you when you say it and if they didn’t realize they were doing it they’d probably be very embarrassed about it. Now if it was a colleague then I’d probably find that harder but friends, well I’d hope people surround themselves with friends who are decent people.

 

[Shivers1983]

To be honest if they really are your friends it shouldn’t be that hard. They should hear you when you say it and if they didn’t realize they were doing it they’d probably be very embarrassed about it. Now if it was a colleague then I’d probably find that harder but friends, well I’d hope people surround themselves with friends who are decent people.

oh believe me I pull them on it every time and I get the comment back that they don’t think of me like that, and oh I’m not as big as them etc.Most of my friends are decent people but the amount of women who speak like that off the cuff is amazing. And genuinely ignorant as to how it would make someone else feel. I’ve loads of amazing friends thanks

 

[Bluewolf]

Louise needs to stop trying to control whatever everyone else is saying and just get on with her own life.

She defines herself by her weight. No one else.


people can say what they want about their own bodies. If Louise makes that about her then that’s her issue, not theirs.

 

[rantingqueen]

Louise needs to stop trying to control whatever everyone else is saying and just get on with her own life.

She defines herself by her weight. No one else.


people can say what they want about their own bodies. If Louise makes that about her then that’s her issue, not theirs.

There’s a whole group of fat activists on twitter who spend their time being angry about clothing, seating sizes or the latest one was complaining hotel baths aren’t comfortable. Making your weight your main conversation piece/identity whilst silencing slim people who might have body confidence issues is BS.

 

[Bluewolf]

There’s a whole group of fat activists on twitter who spend their time being angry about clothing, seating sizes or the latest one was complaining hotel baths aren’t comfortable. Making your weight your main conversation piece/identity whilst silencing slim people who might have body confidence issues is BS.

Fat activists? Even the phrase is an oxymoron.

I say that as someone who is grossly overweight myself.

 

[JillZarin]

And the last few comments are one of the many reasons why fat people don't discuss how they feel about their bodies or how 'harmless' comments make them feel or why they feel shame when talking about being uncomfortable in an aeroplane seat or hotel bath.