Louise Cooney # 5 Cloo-less Cooney launches brand, and in true form it is bland.

[I got up at 5am]

Her brand name sounds like a laxative.

 

[ahtisyourself]

Is that her launch? A bit of a damp squib, no? A few second old clip and then back to pics of Finn Lough. I think if I was her I would have deferred the night away for another time, who goes for a night away the night before a big brand launch? It’s almost like announcing it is an inconvenience to her relaxing and lounging in bed but care would she pass up a freebie. Imagine if she had coverage issues this morning! You couldn’t rely on your network to be stable in the middle of a bloody forest.

The gear is also the most boring, uninspired looking clothing I’ve ever seen. I would genuinely walk past these in Lidl.

In that Independent piece she says;
“I understand my audience and i see the return on content when I share other brands”

In other words it’s all about the money. I want a piece of the money pie. Not sure should you have said that, Lou.

 

[Oohthedrama]

My favourite quotes from Louise Clooless

“I’m probably best known for my fashion credentials” BAHAHAHAHAHA

Speaking to the Irish Daily Mail’s You Mag, Louise confirmed she was in a relationship but explained that her

partner was very private and she was happy to honour that,
“I have a boyfriend, yes,
he’s private so I respect that,
It’s not a secret but there is no reason to share him with the world.”

a few weeks later…

 

[not_influenced]

Roz Purcell promoting Ireland verses Louise- no comparison. I'm no Roz Purcell fan but she does a fantastic job at promoting Ireland- her photos and content. Verses Lazy Lou

 

[gigi00]

When she first mentioned he brand last year she was in a lab and I thought a beverage of some sort. Even when she had her shoot over the summer it seemed like a drink.
So now I'm wondering did it get completely scrapped and she has panicked and rushed into the activewear

 

[MarryMe]

My gut feeling is Joanna Coops jumped Lou on the brand launch today. Joanna’s didn’t seem like it was meant to launch today, not much hype and few items on her website. She launched underwear similar to K Kardashian’s SKIMS. I really think that Lou’s brand launch will be similar. AWKWARD Plus Louise did not post any stories today. LOL that’s what ya get for going on a the VaKays!

 

[Julesffs]

Jesus how much would that Armani press trip cost. Maybe 10k or more. All for a stepford/sweet valley high influencer who can’t do reels and has questionable taste in fast fashion.
I don’t remember Louise ever mentioning Armani before

 

[Adeline]

Can't believe that one of those pieces costs 95 euro! I'm assuming it's the completely impractical cropped bomber (with the terrible crooked stitching and bizarre lack of a full zip).

 

[boarddotie]

YSL (French designer) bag.
"So nice. It's gonna remind me of Rome"

No Lou, the little coin purse your BF bought you with Il Papa on the front will remind you on Rome.

A designer YSL bag will remind you of frivolous spending on basic hun items.

 

[ahtisyourself]

That jacket she is releasing would be totally unflattering on anyone who isn’t a slim size 6-10. I don’t think she has considered any other body frame apart from her own when plucking from a catalogue sorry I mean “designing”

 

[ahtisyourself]

She was always going to show him. It was only a matter of time. She has been itching to do it for months. It won’t be long now until he is a fully fledged insta boyfriend and featured more as a plus one. He’s grand looking, I’m not getting the hype but a significant upgrade on the last fella for sure

 

[ahtisyourself]

It’s actually hilarious that she thinks come January she can take her foot off the pedal and have a break. What if the orders are still coming in, who’s going to pack them and ship them? Where is she storing them? I could criticise Pippa and Rosie for various reasons but I will say that they were both very hands on with that kind of thing from the outset. Pippa was in with her team packing orders until it made financial sense to out source it, Rosie was doing it from her house.. they gave insight into what’s going on in the background whereas Louise has given absolutely no insight. Does she think she can switch her brand on and off as it suits? I’m not sure it works like that.. it seems she wants all the perks of having a brand and being a boss bitch but doesn’t actually want to do any of the slog

Also for someone who loves to repeat how they have a masters in marketing, she really is terrible at it

 

[ahtisyourself]

Put the phone down and enjoy your holiday you lacklustre boastful donkey

 

[ahtisyourself]

Yeah I can’t wait to see her model it in her living room full length mirror where she stays focused on herself just that bit too long where you can hear her breathing down the phone

 

[Addd]

Sure they have now just confirmed that they are definitely reading here

 

[ahtisyourself]

The way she stands at the mirror with the leg stretched out lest we forget she has aaaamazing legs is always made all the better when you turn up the volume and can hear the dead silence and her heavy breathing while she stands for a good solid 10 seconds admiring herself

 

[ahtisyourself]

Her eyes were darting all over the place when she was on talking. There’s something very odd about it all. She seems very uncomfortable talking about it.

 

[ahtisyourself]

Lol shouldn’t it be ‘invite you TO the launch event’ she can’t even write an email correctly

Don’t be such a hater. She barley had time to open her PR this week, and you expect her to be able to be able to form a grammatically correct email?

 

[leeroyjenkins1]

Might fuck work off tomorrow to follow Lous daily care routine. Don’t need a job when I can make fruit bowls and take baths. Expert tip : don’t forget to drink water !!!!! Go away Lou you mad thing.

 

[leeroyjenkins1]

Next week….

“Megaaaannnn come take pictures of me dropping off Christmas presents to the poor people for my insta story

It’s so sad but like ….why don’t they just get more money ??? “

Watch Lou single handedly take down direct provision with a banger reel.