LornaLuxe #5 liar, liar acrylic pants on fire

[Ohmydays]

Exactly. She’s going to be treading a fine line If she starts banging on about vegan products. Most of the stuff she uses isn’t vegan.. so... she’s just hopping on a band wagon, suspect she’s not thought this through. Anyone remember what happened to Lydia when she started talking about vegan ?

And she’s just had a bacon sandwich

 

[Fallen48]

She doesn’t know who she is or what she’s doing but her self confidence is something else!

 

[AllAboutTheMayhem]

Fukk me I thought ‘depth of a puddle’ was your best quote but ‘shit in my hands and clap ‘ I’m dead

classically trained pianist !!allegedly .. but she’s never played as a tooon

she brings out the absolute best in me. and I’m also stressed from moving house so zero tolerance for these fucktwits.

 

[InAweNoMore]

Same Ol same ol ...that video clip of themis horrid ... I don’t know why she shares it so much .. it’s not at all loving !!!!! oh and I’m sorry ... a £7 sunglasses frame .. seriously would it be able to withstand the heat and intensity of having prescription lenses fitted into them !!!!!! ?FFS

The video clip looks like a freak show... gross! Eww! She looks grossed out herself lol.

Grid has a lot of recycled photos lately, so lame.... The lass is wilting and very desperate, ergo the constant giveaways to keep her minions engaged. It’s so transparent!

 

[AllAboutTheMayhem]

Is Lady Muck up yet, it’s half 11?!! Idle mare.

I need her to tell me how glossy and thick her hair is looking and apply the same make up she has done for the last 9 weeks.

Although I expect she‘S thoroughly exhausted after another draining day buying shit, replying to emails, watching tv, drinking wine and trowelling on make up.


(Hope Monsieur Whip was out early this
preparing the sun loungers)

 

[Hereforthepictures]

Announce another give away

I just noticed Rosie Huntington W follows her She doesn’t follow Rosie though. Rude.

because she can’t stand other people who do well. She said she doesn’t even watch other peoples stories on insta in case she starts “comparing (myself) to them”

maybe you should fucking start Doing some research hun

 

[Lope]

Oh look... THE EXACT SAME “we are clapping for our nhs post” she uses week in week out. She might as well not post it.

And it’s always posted at 8pm on the dot. Impressive that she can clap and post a story at the exact same time

 

[Ohmydays]

I’m considering investing £250k in a flat in her building just so I can offer you insider footage

Hilarious !!! Maybe you could invite us for ‘tea’

 

[Its_Me]

I’m still laughing at the “grafter / ever such a hard worker” comment.


(For context, I’m up at 5am, looking after 2 kids, moving house, working full time AND a single parent. I’ve not had half hour to myself in nearly 4 months & not one single minute of help)

Meanwhile Lorna will be in bed for another 5 hours, will “ablute” for another 3 before either staring at herself, talking about herself or taking pictures of herself for the rest of the day.
THIS IS NOT WORK LORNA. This is nothing like real work, real business, real “graft” or real life.
Applying your 7th hair mask in 3 days IS NOT A FUCKING JOB.

It actually unnerves me that her stories typically don’t start until 11am or later but she says oh I’ve been up for ages, no you haven’t.

 

[Fluffy81]

She’s got no style, grace or fashion sense.
She just follows the latest ‘trends’
Copies it.
Photoshops herself to death

Seriously she needs to realise. She’s not Kate Moss. She’s not Helena Christensen. She’s not grace kelly. She’s not Audrey Hepburn ... she’s not anything but a human that is car crash couture ...

God I’m bored with Luxe. Change the Channel

 

[Ohmydays]

Exactly!
And ‘right I’m going to find John’ Find? Find? Where exactly? Stop making out like you’re in the West wing and he’s in the East when the reality is he is probably sat at the table in your tiny kitchen right next to you. Your whole house is a catfish!!

If he’s not there he’s probably dragging up some forgotten treasure from the cellar for her

 

[Just watching it all]

Now she wants a wee wee ... what she doesn’t realise is there is no public toilets open up anyone .. so she will have to pee in her dyson case

This is because she is a twat! I know i keep saying it but she is, prize twat!

 

[LadyLockdown]

No no no!!! That bloody dress! £500? What is wrong with all the people commenting on that picture, they’re all arse licking telling her it looks amazing when she looks utterly ridiculous words actually fail me! Who would ever do that to a designer dress and just completely change it!
she must be on it 24/7 deleting negative comments they must take it in turns!!

View attachment 141340
what the fuck is she even doing there? That’s the fakest yawn I’ve ever seen, looks like she’s giving a ghost a blowy.

I want to rent one of the flats next to her and just watch them and their everyday life, for a week or so I want to see her walking about the shared grounds in that massive hat and dress looking like a right bellend, I’m in need of a good laugh!!

This reminds me of when I was on holiday in Aruba. We were staying in this really lovely hotel and this woman rocked up in a floppy hat, billowing kimono and barely there bikini and dragged the sun lounger to the edge of the pool whilst her poor boyfriend was bellowed at to take photos of her in varying uncomfortable looking and unnatural poses. Me and my boyfriend just watched aghast. It was horrifying and mesmerizing in equal measure.

 

[Bubble-box]

LLL’s brand is basically a mail-order catalogue. She’ll accept any “paid partnership”, flog her cheap as chips ITS and recycle the same designer shit to add to the “Luxe”. This dipshit wouldn’t know the meaning of integrity if it botoxed it’s way on to her already botoxed forehead.

 

[Its_Me]

Oh fantastic she’s giving away a robe so her minions can be just like her! ‘Funny’ we were talking about soho house a few days ago now she’s had to drop in that she’s stayed there.

 

[Their all fake and greedy]

it’s Elton !

Who the hell is that ?
is it mr Luxe pre Botox?
Holy Shit Balls.

You can tell he's a heavy drinker and smoker he's aged terribly what a state

 

[Ohmydays]

Cracks me up how she’ll throw in random words to make herself look intelligent when the majority of her followers won’t have a scooby what she’s on about.
Eg. “Abluting”

My Grandad used to say that when he was going for a shite !

I’ll just leave this here .. A Dior bag tweet Followed by a donate to Yemen retweet !!!

 

[LadyLondon]

She actually thinks she is in SATC the OAP is no Mr Big

He’s Mr. Wig not Mr. Big!

 

[Sophie92]

And the OAP is back! Clearly she’s been reading here

 

[Ohmydays]

Her Crew flying tips .. !! What a load of Bollox .... I’ve flown numerous times on Virgin ...the worse flights were the ones back to London from the Caribbean !! Hungover , tired , lazy . Unprofessional Crew .. !! I reported too many flights to mention ...(. Cos that was my job. ). I also flew to LA once alone and sat next to a guy with his daughter .. prob aged 8 yrs old .. she threw up all over herself and him .. I called for help .. red lipped , big lashes attendant, sweating at the botoxed brow said .... OOOH I Dont do sick as she put on gloves , heaved and threw me some paper towels ‘ as she walked away .. I said ‘excuse me I don’t know these people ! ‘ no response ! No response to future bell so left me wiping the poor child down while her Dad cleaned himself up !!!
WOW ... I loved putting that report in ... ..