Lorna Luxe #28 Sorry Boo, you'll have to wait, we're jetting off to shoot Act 2008

[Gurt Lush]

Doesn’t she already have a bracelet that looks identical to that?! Also anyone else notice how quick she opened it, like a greedy truffle pig

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

Dreadful.

 

[Neddy Bezzie]

Every time I see her with her 'knockers' hanging out I feel quite billious. So much so I thought I'd pen a little poem...
Loona Luxe always flaunting her chest,
One teats east and one teats west.
Hair not dissimilar to a birds nest
Her non existent boobs are more suited to a vest!!
Feel free to add more verses!!!...

 

[Its_Me]

Away with you, fake maxi dresses!

I actually cannot stop laughing

HOW???

She’s on holiday in a hot climate and seemingly layering on the shit tan. Whilst I don’t encourage heavy sun exposure I also don’t encourage the I just fisted my husband look <I’m sorry!!!!>

 

[styleoversubstance]

What does John do for work other then limp after Lorna like a dickhead?

Hes on ‘sabatical’ (aka forcibly retired) which isnt that suprising as men his age would have had a good final salary pension (the type gen x/millenials can only dream of)

He did work for HSBC pensions as a head of dept but after a deep dive a few monthy ago theres no mention of him on their website nor anywhere on the internet since 2007. HSBC stopped providing their own pensions a few years back so pretty sure that dept doesn’t exist anymore. His LinkedIn page is very out of date too. Everything they say is a lie so nothing shown by Loorna about him is true. She trying to launch him I think as a ‘Mr Luxe/JP Luxe’ brand which is hilarious particularly as neither of them have any marketing ability.

To be fair to our favourite p/t Gary Glitter/Cartier gift box impersonator did seem to have a quite good career in domestic banking (to to be confused with investment banking which Loona has always liked to allude to) pretty much working his way up at HSBC. He hasnt left her side in over a year and has taken numerous government non-advised trips so defo doesnt seen to be working… I would also imagine he takes a ‘wage’ via her business as a photograher/assistant as well as charging certain servces to ITS. The fact he had his camera upside down in the Breaking Fashion is neither here or there

Also its important to note his been working his entire life and doesn’t own a property, nor a new car and never had children to pay for so wasnt a traditional big earner/Mr Big type again as she sometimes like to allude to.

ALSO - this post will make them furious so mark your Marbs bingo card for a reference to him doing a zoom meeting, or work call very soon (all of which is BS)

 

[Honeybee88]

Well well well what’d ya know- god damn prawns again - how original

Prawna Luxe

 

[Jasmine]

That close up of John's toe..reminds me that he does or did have gout. I couldn't suck them because it reminded me of stale blue cheese...sorry..

 

[RaspberryCheesecake]

The eyebrows??

 

[pink_norris]

New thread alert, show us your titles TITs


Here's one for starters


Lorna Luxe #29 Sulked in Marbs hotel did not deliver, now dressing as a schoolgirl and wrecking her liver

 

[Dawn Dayn]

Dying of second hand embarrassment. The school uniform look on an almost forty year old is tragic. It's like when your auntie went through a bad divorce and wants to go clubbing with you.
Not Luxe.

 

[MadameS]

I was just coming on to post that she seems to have reverted to using her actual face shape. She’s very similar to Demi Moore’s daughter with the large jaw. It’s so different to her filtered version. This is for the newbies,
Lorna’s ever changing jaw/face.

THAT THIRD ONE. WHAT IS THAT?!
I’M HOWLING

 

[MadameS]

No seat belt! The car is in motion - how is she never caught on these things?! Part of me wants her to have an accident (non-lethal, of course) just to teach her a lesson!

I’m guessing this means I’ve been a-blocked And I actually politely and in a concerned way pointed out that she should be wearing a seatbelt, nothing that merited a blocking, so this clearly just means she cares more about aesthetics than her safety. What a twat.
But hey, I can also see from my other account that she’s deleted the video of her in the car without it on, so nice try, Loona

 

[Ohmydays]

Just going to leave this here. Enjoy.View attachment 694400

Fukkin 72 takes and this is the best one . Will he get his Todger touched tonight for a cartier bracelet ???

I think she does have the gold one but I’m not sure it has the diamonds in it. Looks like this is the 6 diamond one.

That ITS shite really is giving her the materialism she craves.

Didn’t someone say that he bought her the 1st one after her affair ?

 

[balenciagandburgers]

She has to stop with these drunk dress reveal videos someone is going to have her committed soon. ()

 

[AllAboutTheMayhem]

What is up with her face shape in the stories? Her chin and jaw takes up 60% of her face!

I was just coming on to post that she seems to have reverted to using her actual face shape. She’s very similar to Demi Moore’s daughter with the large jaw. It’s so different to her filtered version. This is for the newbies,
Lorna’s ever changing jaw/face.

 

[annabelle_bronstein]

WTAF is that outfit? None of it remotely fits her. It looks like when I used to do 'fashion shows' using my mum's clothes around age 8

 

[880411]

Such an unflattering dress. Who is going to buy this shit?

She has pecs like a man

 

[Powerbun]

Side by side, filtering the legs n face to a size 0, she’s mental and looks mental

Good Morning the fashion detective is back.

The special print that is being touted at as part of Act 5 is a copy of Agua by Agua Bendita. It is a proper luxury brand that is based in Columbia. They specialise in ethical sourced clothing that is hand made and uses local labour who can balance family and work life. Their prints are one of there specialisations.

Obviously this will be exactly the same conditions that the Chinese sweat factories have to produce these beauties...

 

[miss trixie]

What in heaven's name is she prattling on about now with the "reworking of vintage Chanel" comment?

 

[RaspberryCheesecake]

I don't think the ring is the worst thing I've ever seen. What I don't like about it is how huge it is. Why does all her jewellery have to be so huge and brash and showy? Do the two of them think it looks more expensive? The Rolex is massive. The wedding ring is enormous. This emerald thing is huge. And then, to make matters worse, she insists on wearing every piece all together all at the same time. She honestly looks like a female chav version of BA Baracus with all that hardware. To my simple, untrained eye, both those Cartier bracelets look identical, so why must she wear them together (or indeed, why did she need a second one exactly the same in the first place?). Plus, she already wears another Cartier bracelet. She really doesn't understand the concept of just picking one or two pieces to wear that day and then making a statement with it. The Rolex needs to go in the bin. It's far too big and looks trashy -- what's wrong with just a nice, elegant ladies' watch (which can be just as expensive as a Rolex if she wants it to be)? Perhaps that's why they never venture further than half a mile from their hotel when they go on holiday, because in some countries she'd have been mugged multiple times by now.