Loneliness

[watermelon sugar]

I’m posting to see how everyone is?

hello, I’m still lonely even more so than I was when I first posted probs but I am just more used to it now I think. How are you doing??

 

[Instalies]

I feel lonely even when I'm with other people and all I want to do is cry but I try to be strong. Feeling lonely is something I've battled with for years but I just feel like I can't handle this emptiness in my life even if I am surrounded by others. I try to reach out to friends and I often feel like I'm a burden or my messages will get ignored. It is difficult to make friends as an adult. I just feel very isolated and more so since my ex broke up with me. I think that might be making it worse but this emptiness and loneliness has been there for a long time.

Thank you for reading my post.

Hey I’m so sorry you’re feeling the way you do. I wanted to let you know though that it does get better. I always used to say to my mum the exact same thing about feeling alone when I was surrounded by my friends. I’d describe almost an out of body experience of me looking down at the table and seeing myself go through the motions of being present and laughing at jokes, but I wasn’t there really. After seeking some medical help, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and, since getting some help and figuring a few things out, I’ve been much happier. If you feel you can, pop your doctor a call and see if they can set you up with a time to chat things through with them. They should be able to help you in some way, be that counselling, medication or something else. Sending lots of love x

 

[Kiz]

A couple of years ago, I moved 4 hours away from my friends and family to be with my bf. The time has now come for us to buy a house. I have tried my best to meet new friends but the friendships have never lasted. I feel lonely especially if my bf works away or is out with his friends. when we do have children one day I feel I will be even more isolated and excluded. Do we make the move and go back to my home town?

 

[Lauren-1996]

Have any of you with children tried peanut? It’s like tinder but for finding friends/play dates.
I downloaded it lastnight and was surprised how many people in my area was on it. I’m probably not brave enough to arrange a meet up with any of them but maybe it could help some of you?

 

[1001 others]

I moved to a different city to live with my partner, so I don’t have any friends or any of my own family here. Im on maternity leave and my partner is at work full time, when he’s not at work he likes to do his own thing. It gets very lonely being stuck at home 24/7 with two young children and no family or friends near by.

Do you belong to any mother's groups?

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I hope it’s ok for me to post. I’m also feeling really lonely.
I was sectioned and in hospital from November 2018 to November 2020. During that time I was obviously surrounded by people at all times and I lost touch or have become distanced from my friends.
family is a whole other issue, I only really have my dad.
Anyway, I have been home for 7 months and had very little support from the community team. I sometimes only see the people in the pharmacy and whoever I pass when I go shopping each week. The people I became very close to in hospital are spread out around the country so we don’t see each other.

I feel lost and I don’t know where my place is in the world anymore, the pandemic hasn’t helped either.

My mental health has started to decline. I’m depressed, my benefits haven’t been sorted still so I’m barely able to eat as I’m waiting for it to come through and so I’m not able to go to the gym or the workout classes, the isolation has meant my generalised and social anxiety has gotten worse and I’m practically a hermit.

I’m sorry I’m rambling, insomnia means I am still awake at 2:30am and I needed to vent.

sending my love to everyone

Could you workout at home? There’s some great workout videos on YouTube and Instagram. I quit the gym as I prefer these and running outside.

 

[Hope96]

I'm feeling more lonely than usual at the moment. Invited a friend of mine around last weekend, she's living with her ex and didn't want to be there with him. She was up for coming over for the day/night and then didn't hear anything, she ended up going out for the day with him.
It's my birthday tomorrow, no plans to do anything

Happy birthday I know how lonely it can be to not have plans with others for your birthday but I hope you can do one kind thing for yourself today. xxx

 

[Cats_eyes]

I'm feeling more lonely than usual at the moment. Invited a friend of mine around last weekend, she's living with her ex and didn't want to be there with him. She was up for coming over for the day/night and then didn't hear anything, she ended up going out for the day with him.
It's my birthday tomorrow, no plans to do anything

Just wanted to say happy birthday!

 

[BaileyMC]

I’ve never felt so alone in all my life. I suffered a miscarriage last week and I just feel so alone. I moved to a different town with my bf and all my friends live back in the city I’m from, same with my family. But I don’t feel like I can text them and tell them how I feel. My boyfriend works a lot, and into the night so the nights have been lonely and I don’t see him. we have a two year old and when he’s in bed at night I just fall apart and cry. I have no one to talk to. I really have never felt so alone. It’s suffocating

Firstly I’m so sorry you had a miscarriage, I can’t imagine how your feeling. And in regards to moving away I can’t imagine that is making things any better. I don’t want to say the wrong thing, but have you tried talking to friends and family? I’m sure they would be willing to talk and listen to how you truly feel. It always feels better once people are able to talk to someone about how their truly feeling. Whether that’s friends, family, a partner or a professional. It might be scary thinking about doing so but you may feel a lot lighter sharing how you are feeling right now

 

[indigomoon]

Have you thought about pen-palling? Or how about joining a local walking group? Andy's Man Club has lots of groups and projects on the go aimed at reducing loneliness too (not exclusively for men). I would also check out some volunteering opportunities in your local community.

 

[watermelon sugar]

I'm 25 too

 

[Lauren-1996]

I’ve read through this thread and I think it’s a really lively place to be, and to share.
I’m in my late 40s and have a husband with a disability. Whilst that doesn’t limit our life, I’m very alone and currently feeling pretty rubbish.
He needs 24/7 care and for various reasons, I am currently his sole carer. We are in an incredibly lucky position that we usually have someone in to help me about 5 mornings a week, but that person is on long term sick leave and (long story short) we can’t get a short term replacement.
His care needs are complex and unpredictable and so I’m his person 24/7.
I love him to the ends of the earth but it can sometimes be a lonely place to be. I miss my fiends so much, and because of shielding him, we’ve not seen many folk for a bloody long time.
I usually lurk and post indignation on hinch threads, but I would love to be able to support other peeps On here too.
I’ve never felt anything but friendship, love and support on tattle... no trolling, just an exchange of views!
Sorry if I sound whingey, I don’t mean to be. I understand how tough things can be when you’re alone or dealing with so much that it seems that there is no one to support you.

big hugs to everyone that needs them. Here for chats and some mutual support to anyone that needs it xxx
I really feel for you mums who are on your own, I can’t imagine how hard that is and I send you my very best hugs for you and the little ones In your life xxx

I’m a carer out in the community doing home visits and I’ve seen many people in your situation so I can fully understand how difficult it must be for you, I always think to myself I’m only in the call helping for half hour then I go, but that’s their life 24/7, dedicating their life caring for their partners, I can see how lonely and draining that must be for you. You’re doing amazing

 

[justapossum]

I'm feeling more lonely than usual at the moment. Invited a friend of mine around last weekend, she's living with her ex and didn't want to be there with him. She was up for coming over for the day/night and then didn't hear anything, she ended up going out for the day with him.
It's my birthday tomorrow, no plans to do anything

Happy birthday
I'm sorry that you are feeling this way, and I hope that you still manage to enjoy your day today. Maybe have a self-care day, and do all the things that make you feel good, go for a walk, make yourself a nice meal. Are there any other friends that you can reach out to? Maybe someone you haven't spoken to in a while? I'm here if you need someone to talk to x

 

[watermelon sugar]

I was on maternity leave but it's over now and I'm on furlough until I go back in two weeks time! In my spare time I tattle the evenings are nice when my bf is home, I spend time with him. When he's off it is rare and he'd rather go and spend time with his family than spend time the 3 of us

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

i also relate to feeling lonely.

ever since school i’ve always been the “discardable friend” or the least preferred in the group if that makes sense and i’ve never understood why.

After having so called friends who would leave me all alone in nightclubs and other horrible situations in my younger years i’ve become somewhat of a recluse, would prefer to just be in my own company than bother with people and end up feeling crap about myself.

My partner completely understands my social anxiety and doesn’t force me in to social situations if i’m not feeling up to it, which i appreciate!

But I do feel really lonely, when he goes out to visit his friends I’d love nothing more than to go visit friends too but I don’t have any.

I’m in my mid-late twenties and work in an office. I’m always the go to person in my team for advice and thought I got along well with everyone until today when I seen on SM all the women met up for a drink but didn’t invite me along with another woman (who I know they’re not fussed on).

It just seems like good friends are hard to come by these days which is a shame and it doesn’t help that i’m really shy so making new friends seems impossible

does anyone have any advice on making friends when suffering with social anxiety?

This doesn't sound nice. Your colleagues seem a bit underhand, asking you for advice but not inviting you to join them on a night out.

I cannot see that you suffer from social anxiety, though. It seems that you can interact with people just fine, without feeling too much stress - given that you are the go-to person in the office.
What makes you think that you are socially anxious?

I could imagine that you have been simply unfortunate in being surrounded by unpleasant and unlikeable people and this not your fault.
It is hard to meet new people to befriend.
Maybe it makes sense to increase the chances of meeting new people that you have something in common with, even if it is online. Maybe you have a hobby and could join a group or start a new hobby/sports?

 

[I_love_itttt]

Thank you so much lovely. I just don't understand how somebody can go from the most kind, loving person in the world to not even texting me back and telling me to move out. I just can't believe he won't even text me back when I can't even sleep and I'm looking at my phone and jumping at any noise thinking it could be him coming through the door. I'm assuming (more like hoping) he's staying with a friend or his brother until I'm gone... just so hurt thank you xxx

You need to start giving all that love you got inside, to yourself now. Give yourself some proper self care time. Its hard right now but honestly its a great way to move forward. You don't need a guy that is happy to use dating apps while he is with you. He certainly didn't care about you while he was scrolling on those sites. So onwards and upwards babes!! You have worth x

 

[Ifyounoseyounose]

I'm really struggling at the moment, I posted in the lack of friends thread a few weeks ago. Me and my ex split 2 months ago, I found out he cheated last year but decided to give it another go for the sack of our baby. However it had a major impact on my mental health. I moved back home with my 2yo, when we split 2 months ago, we were planning on moving anyway as I hated the house we lived in. I've recently started renting a new place but feel terribly lonely.

I've made changes to help my mental health and the house I'm currently renting I feel so relaxed and calm in, which I haven't felt for years. Since the split I've realised that over time I've lost my friends, I'm quite a shy and introverted person anyway so meeting new people is hard. There doesn't seem to be any local mum and toddler classes for me to attend on my days off, I joined peanut (an app for mums to meet other mums) but feel like I'm getting no where. I'm just at a loss at what else I can do tbh. This feeling of loneliness is crippling. Any advice would be much appreciated x

 

[boomska]

I hear you. I live in a different country, it's fairly transient and a lot of people are fake, flaky or have a fuck ton of issues - so not really my kind of people. I met a lovely friend only for her to move back home.
I hit a milestone birthday a few days ago, I don't own my own property, no partner, and no baby which is depressing at times as most people I know have at least one of those things. I've a few friends back in the UK but after something traumatic that happened in my life I had to cut a lot of people out of my life (including my family). I've come to the realisation that I am happier alone unless I'm in the company of the 'right' people. I lead quite a boring life but at least it's drama free. I don't have the energy to 'look' for relationships ..

Just want you all to know that you're not alone and sometimes it's better to be selfish and think of what YOU want from life rather than wasting time on others where it isn't always reciprocated.

thank you this means a lot to me i think I’m suffering from depression/anxiety episode. I’m gonna go to the doctors, get some happy pills abd then change my attitude xx

 

[fruitcake_1]

This doesn't sound nice. Your colleagues seem a bit underhand, asking you for advice but not inviting you to join them on a night out.

I cannot see that you suffer from social anxiety, though. It seems that you can interact with people just fine, without feeling too much stress - given that you are the go-to person in the office.
What makes you think that you are socially anxious?

I could imagine that you have been simply unfortunate in being surrounded by unpleasant and unlikeable people and this not your fault.
It is hard to meet new people to befriend.
Maybe it makes sense to increase the chances of meeting new people that you have something in common with, even if it is online. Maybe you have a hobby and could join a group or start a new hobby/sports?

I seem to be fine with people I’m comfortable with but I’ve been known to back out of meeting my partners friends and g/f’s on several occasions out of nerves but finally plucked up the courage last weekend. I’m the only one without children though so they all had that in common whereas I didn’t.

I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety for several years now and not even counselling or medication helped If I know I have to socialise with new people I work myself up for days prior and get all sorts of anxiety symptoms when the occasion arises (sweaty hands, panicky, thoughts like ‘they hate me already, they think i'm weird, they’re comparing me to my partners ex, etc.).
I don’t know if that’s stemmed from feeling rejected from old friendships like I mentioned in my previous post, who knows

The fact I have no-one was amplified when my partner proposed to me and we started talking about a wedding and I asked if he wouldn’t mind eloping just us two so it wouldn’t be glaringly obvious that I have no friends in pictures etc. Luckily he wanted the same as he doesn’t like the fuss!

I don’t really have any hobbies, i’m stuck in an endless cycle

I’m so glad I came across tattle though, it’s nice to see there are like-minded people out there and I’m not alone

 

[Melissa25xo]

I'm feeling more lonely than usual at the moment. Invited a friend of mine around last weekend, she's living with her ex and didn't want to be there with him. She was up for coming over for the day/night and then didn't hear anything, she ended up going out for the day with him.
It's my birthday tomorrow, no plans to do anything

Happy birthday hope you have a lovely day whatever you’re doing