Loneliness

[mochibean]

I hope you're ok I'm the same, I moved 3.5 hours away from all my friends/family and I only know my husbands friends, don't have any of my own. All my friends are going out together and I have to see it on instagram, I hate it, I'm 25 with no children I feel like I'm wasting my weekends!

Thank you, hope you are too.
It does really suck, like you said especially when you see your friends going out without you. I'm 27 with no children and we definitely are missing out. I've tried Bumble BFF and not had much luck tbh, met a couple of people I chat to on Instagram but no meetups or anything. You could give it a try you may have more luck?

It really is just tough though. I spend my days after work at home and I'm bored of being bored.

 

[Polkadotdragon]

I'm my own worse enemy when it comes to loneliness, I've had friends I've got close to in the past and each and everyone have managed to use me to the point I call off the friendship, I'm so wary of people, I don't see myself in a good light anyway and its sad I don't think I'll ever have a close friendship again, I have groups I chat in, I talk to people daily but it takes so much to actually feel like I can trust someone, I don't see myself worthy of friendship a lot of the time as I said I don't see myself in a good light, really need to work on that!

 

[Libbylulu]

Making friends is so much harder as an adult

It’s difficult if you don’t have kids too I find. Mine have left home and I’m constantly left out of my friendship groups as I’m an empty nester. It is tough to know how to break into groups otherwise.

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

I'm around people all the time but still feel so lonely,

Me too. And I do like my own company, but today I got home from the gym, shut my front door, and just cried. When I was out and about I saw so many couples and families, and everyone has lovely decorated houses, and is in the Christmas spirit. I don't have a partner, a baby, a house, or even a pet. I'm the only one of my friends not to have at least two of those things. My friends are lovely and include me, and I love getting to see their kids grow up, but at the end of the day I go home on my own every single day and have nobody to cuddle on the sofa or just chat to about work or build a life with. To top if off, today I realised that it's been a year since I even kissed anyone. My ex cheated on me last Christmas and since then I've been getting over him, too busy at work to date, or when I have dated, it hasn't gone anywhere. It all just feels hopeless.

 

[watermelon sugar]

I’ve never felt so alone in all my life. I suffered a miscarriage last week and I just feel so alone. I moved to a different town with my bf and all my friends live back in the city I’m from, same with my family. But I don’t feel like I can text them and tell them how I feel. My boyfriend works a lot, and into the night so the nights have been lonely and I don’t see him. we have a two year old and when he’s in bed at night I just fall apart and cry. I have no one to talk to. I really have never felt so alone. It’s suffocating

 

[Lauren-1996]

i also relate to feeling lonely.

ever since school i’ve always been the “discardable friend” or the least preferred in the group if that makes sense and i’ve never understood why.

After having so called friends who would leave me all alone in nightclubs and other horrible situations in my younger years i’ve become somewhat of a recluse, would prefer to just be in my own company than bother with people and end up feeling crap about myself.

My partner completely understands my social anxiety and doesn’t force me in to social situations if i’m not feeling up to it, which i appreciate!

But I do feel really lonely, when he goes out to visit his friends I’d love nothing more than to go visit friends too but I don’t have any.

I’m in my mid-late twenties and work in an office. I’m always the go to person in my team for advice and thought I got along well with everyone until today when I seen on SM all the women met up for a drink but didn’t invite me along with another woman (who I know they’re not fussed on).

It just seems like good friends are hard to come by these days which is a shame and it doesn’t help that i’m really shy so making new friends seems impossible

does anyone have any advice on making friends when suffering with social anxiety?

I get this. It’s annoying because you feel like you’d make such a good friend, yet no one wants to be good friends with you, right? I get on with everyone at work etc, but don’t have anyone that I see/talk to outside of work. I’m 25 so similar age I guess? Why don’t you go out with your boyfriend and see if some of his mates have girlfriends? You may feel more comfortable having your boyfriend there too, also alcohol helps

 

[Felix08]

I do sometimes get lonely because I live alone and im single but I do have great friends and people I work with who I see on a regular basis.
It breaks my heart to read how many on here are lonely. Im a stranger but if anyone want you can, if possible, sent me a message on here if you want.

I know it´s hard to make new friends but maybe not focus on making friends but just seeing a regular group of people once a week?
I dont know where everyone lives and if mental healthy wise you're up for it but maybe enroll in courses that last a few weeks, like 6 weeks or so? Not to make friends but to socialize and have something to look forward to. I know when you're lonely it just gets harder to do these things because you might be in a dark place.

I dont want to be a know it all, I just hope you all find a bit of comfort and find your way. Take care!

 

[ProphecyGirl]

I can relate also.

I was 22 when I moved out of my parents and moved in with my ex, I was with him for 8 years and lived with him for 3. He moved out and I stayed on my own. And I’ve never been in my own until then.
That was three years ago, last year someone I was seeing briefly moved in with me for three months but that came to an end

I’m so lonely,I feel like I annoy peole at work because I talk Too much. I also don’t wanna feel like a burden on my friends

dont get me wrong. I love my own space now but it would be nice to have someone to come home to again

 

[mochibean]

does anyone have any advice on making friends when suffering with social anxiety?

I had to overcome my social anxiety.
I realise that I don't need to be afraid to say whatever I want to say, really had to fake it for a long time and now I'm really confident.

I just have a hard time meeting anyone new. It's super hard to make friends as an adult.

 

[Fancyfeathers]

Hey all i hope its okay me posting here but i am lonely too since ive lost my partner things have been so bad.i get treated like dirt by my kids my youngest son is the most amazing person ever its my daughters that's the problem. Im agoraphobic and suffer anxiety and the day my partner died was the day every single thing changed i have a family that hates me and as for friends here i have no one they live in different countries but its not the same i have no help and no one to rely on and i hate it. I have no one to talk to

 

[Jc456]

Ahh thanks everyone. Dad made other arrangements so is coming over next week now and my mum was out so I went to the beach and read some of my book before picking the kids up from school

 

[watermelon sugar]

I don’t have any advice to give but just wanted to say that you bring a lot of laughs with your memes! I know that doesn’t help the slightest with how you feel but I appreciate what you bring to Tattle

Stop it that is so sweet! Thank you

 

[Wonderwhispers2k19]

Hi guys, sorry don't want to look like an attention seeking whinger but I didn't have anywhere else to turn.. I posted on here the other day about feeling really lonely as I've just moved almost 2 hours away to live with my boyfriend and didn't have any friends and was struggling to get a job whereas my partner works full time and has a really nice group of friends. Anyway, we had a bit of a drunken row the other night and ended up saying some nasty stuff and splitting up. I went back to 'our home' and thought it'll be okay in the morning etc but he didn't come back and won't respond to me at all and all he has said is that he wants me to move out because its over. Obviously I'm absolutely gutted and so hurt by the lack he care, I'm pouring my heart out just to be ignored or laughed at, just embarrassing really. We've only been together just under a year and this was our first big argument but I'm just speechless to find out I genuinely mean so little to him that he won't even come home or answer me. During this argument he admitted he's been on dating apps this whole time too. I'm stuck here until Monday as nobody can come and get me until then (I don't drive). I genuinely just feel the lowest I've ever been and I'm completely alone with nobody to really confide in, I've reached out to the few friends I've got and as nice as they've all been I just feel irritating going on and on about it. Anyway.. sorry to be soppy bollocks, I'm trying to pass time with shitty tv and tattle threads until it hurts a little bit less. I can't settle, I just feel completely restless and can't even sleep waiting for a reply, for him to come home, wondering what he's doing. I just feel embarrassed, I really thought he was the one and I gave my whole life up for him just to be back at the beginning moving back into my parents house at my age... thanks for the laughs anyway and this platform where I can post this without feeling judged or embarrassed... lots of love xx

Just want to send you some online love. I know it sucks and hurts so much right now and it will for a while. I won’t lie to you! But I promise it isn’t forever

tbh you deserve someone who won’t be on dating apps etc. Don’t be embarrassed and I hope you feel better soon. Don’t blame yourself sweet.If you need to cry then do!! Let it all out.And I bet your friends would rather you kept speaking to them lovely. Don’t isolate yourself . Sending love xxxxxx

 

[candyland_]

I’m spending Christmas on my own this year, trawled supermarket sites for a Christmas dinner for one, they don’t exist, just wanted something a bit fancier than a Birds Eye chicken dinner & can’t be bothered to cook a turkey just for me with all the trimmings, people have asked what I’m doing at Christmas just said not sure yet, deep down I’m dreading it, I know I’m lucky as I have a roof over my head & a job but Christmas was always about family & I’ve moved to a new area so don’t really know anyone. I was going to go out but would be a bit sad & pathetic sitting there like billy no mates on Christmas Day

So many people spend Christmas alone. Slow cook some meat and steam some veg or pick up a fancy meal deal from somewhere like M&S?

I hope you enjoy your day.

 

[amb1505]

I am so sorry you have had all this going on x I absolutely feel for you and please don't feel embarrassed. It was brave and courageous of you to reach out x all I can say is as much as you are hurting, better this has happened now because you deserve respect and happiness with someone who cares rather than be stuck with someone who don't give a rats arse x sending you all my love xxx

Thank you so much lovely. I just don't understand how somebody can go from the most kind, loving person in the world to not even texting me back and telling me to move out. I just can't believe he won't even text me back when I can't even sleep and I'm looking at my phone and jumping at any noise thinking it could be him coming through the door. I'm assuming (more like hoping) he's staying with a friend or his brother until I'm gone... just so hurt thank you xxx

 

[Swipeuplikeandshare]

I totally get that. I tried to conceive for five years and in my village I had no connection to anyone as I had no kids or way in if that makes sense

It’s difficult if you do have kids too I find. Mine have left home and I’m constantly left out of my friendship groups as I’m an empty nester. It is tough to know how to break into groups otherwise.

I find it hard with having one kid too. I’ve no family really and moved to a new area. I tried to make friends but one girl I went to coffee with hasn’t messaged me in well over a year suppose COVID and all but I took it a bit personally. I keep thinking is there something wrong with me. I’m quite lonely in the evenings and let my little one stay up with me for company - how sad is that

I'm really struggling at the moment, I posted in the lack of friends thread a few weeks ago. Me and my ex split 2 months ago, I found out he cheated last year but decided to give it another go for the sack of our baby. However it had a major impact on my mental health. I moved back home with my 2yo, when we split 2 months ago, we were planning on moving anyway as I hated the house we lived in. I've recently started renting a new place but feel terribly lonely.

I've made changes to help my mental health and the house I'm currently renting I feel so relaxed and calm in, which I haven't felt for years. Since the split I've realised that over time I've lost my friends, I'm quite a shy and introverted person anyway so meeting new people is hard. There doesn't seem to be any local mum and toddler classes for me to attend on my days off, I joined peanut (an app for mums to meet other mums) but feel like I'm getting no where. I'm just at a loss at what else I can do tbh. This feeling of loneliness is crippling. Any advice would be much appreciated x

First of all - massive hugs to you. I’m glad your home is your haven that’s very important

Suppose for me I went to baby groups and tots groups (I know it’s a bit hard with restrictions tho). Maybe also see about volunteering (someone mentioned it here and it’s a fab idea) to see if you can meet people. Do you have any hobbies that you could get involved in - such as park runs, football, even bingo etc - just something to get you out and about

It’s terribly hard but we are here too and if you ever need to chat my inbox is there zx

 

[boomska]

How is everyone tonight? I decided to go back to a boogie bounce class on Tuesday. Get moving and I became friendly with one of the girls there, so I'm hoping she'll be there on Tuesday. It's hard to get a spot each week but at least I'm doing it.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I kicked so many bad friendships to the curb in lockdown so extra sunny days like this week feel a bit meh.

Thank you so much I just genuinely cannot believe it. I was a good girlfriend and this was our first ever proper argument that started when we were out and I wanted to go home but he wanted to go back to his friends house for an afterparty but I didn't want to go back alone I wanted us to go back together and chill out. I'd barely seen him all week as he'd been working and spending the evenings with the friends he worked with . So hard to resist the urge to keep texting and calling but he's just not interested

People can change so much once you live together. Take care and don’t feel embarrassed x

 

[Apple In My Pie]

I am very lonely. I have been for a long time but it’s gotten worse since I entered my 20s. I have finally talked to my GP and made steps to getting into a hobby and work. I hope it helps.

 

[no-no]

I’m usually a loner who’s too busy to get lonely but this time of year makes it hard. I’ve had a tough day and reached out to my mum for support who decided to be childish so feel even worse now for bothering. I’ve got no one else and feel like I’ll always be alone. I don’t let people in and am not some oddball, I’m just reserved because of my childhood. I’ve tried groups and stuff in the past but never get anywhere. The only thing I can do when I feel like this is ride it out but it’s hard.