Jizz Loans: Back on her Bullshit (aka podcast recap)
Liz plugs an article she wrote for MailPlus about David Cassidy. She says Adele's new music sucks because Adele lost weight and is happy - GREAT ART requires suffering, like Amy Winehouse or Liz! Nic says if Liz were rich and happy she wouldn't need to write the column but Liz says "the world needs art!" Liz says some platitudes about the murder of David Amess, not for the sake of his family or constituents but because he campaigned for animal rights! Nic talks about her charity skydiving, Liz makes mean comments about her and an inappropriate joke about Michael Jackson dangling his baby over a balcony. Nic says she wants to email Nigel on Liz's behalf, it's a "love story" and it's "dragging on." As if the whole world is waiting for them to get together.
This week's column: because Liz "gets so much abuse" she has decided to chronicle the times she did bad things to men. But she can't actually think of anything bad, because Liz is a saint and the worst example she can think of is a bitchy remark about a date's shoes in front of the maître-d'. Surprise! It's Liz complaining again about how badly everyone's treated her. She refers to refusing to kiss an ex (because she knew he'd been cheating on her) as a "#MeToo moment", which is ridiculous unless the guy was trying to sexually harass her. Liz complains that men are "attracted into her orbit like moths" and then become "chippy" about her superiority. There's some Nirpal-bashing and she reads out a list of expensive holidays she took him on.
Liz reads out an archive column with more Nirpal-bashing, referring to him as "the fat twerp." She reads out a long list of his flaws which include farting, not opening his post, not feeding her cats, and using supermarket shaving cream. Liz says she felt indebted to him because she was so much older and Nic is all "that's soooo wrong, he should accept your age, you bring so much wisdom with age!" Completely missing the point which is that Liz blatantly lied to him about her age. Liz makes homophobic remarks about Nirpal and his gay friends. She finishes with Nic reading out some fan mail, Liz bitches again about "being trolled on Twitter" and again drags out her "I'm catnip to men!" line.