Liz Jones - You Magazine Columnist

[Mediastar]

Blimey, the Dreary tomorrow is scraping the absolute bottom of the barrel: She was watching some bilge about the making of The Exorcist and one of the extras was some bloke she didn't have sex with *over forty years ago*.
What the actual fuck? What next? A dry-cleaning bill she found tucked in an old coat from 1979?
She mentions that even at that young age (19 or so) she was deaf as a post so how did she manage at 'university' (she never graduated btw) or at interviews? So many questions I care so little about...

 

[sunshine13]

I sometimes wonder if she's actually real, or some sort of cartoon character made up by the MoS.

 

[Blurp]

She is so ridiculously Hyacinth with her insistence on and constantly namedropping M&S and Waitrose food; so parvenue, dahling!

I suppose I could say that my dogs and one cat got human food this Christmas as I roasted some chicken breasts to slice and top their - PROPER - food, though it did come from the Co-op in the next village . The other cat didn't even bother to come home for it; I messaged my neighbour that if, he was lurking around the farmyard or byre, to tell him to come home before his sister ate all the chicken; he was lying on their sofa at the time before taking himself up to sleep on their spare bed!

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

The mention of horses reminds me of an old Mumsnet thread where someone claimed that they knew the previous owner of Liz's horse Nellie, who subsequently died a few weeks later - Liz wrote a couple of columns on the subject. According to the poster, Nellie's death was caused by Liz not caring for her properly, and the previous owner tried to launch legal action over Liz claiming in print that Nellie died from severe colic. It seems nothing came of that but still, sad yet predictable if true

 

[Nordic]

Tattle get a shout out tomorrow!

 

[Mediastar]

It's evident that her annual review is in the offing, hence the outpouring of chaaaaridable work (ignoring the fact that she's a year off the pace with the bed-ridden girl) and deep love for collecting animals for Nic to look after. I dare say she will have been hideously slighted by imaginary friends over Christmas, then be back on the pull in Jan. And what of the tour of her self-published blockbuster? #479,261 on the best seller list isn't to be sneezed at!

 

[Belulah]

She used to be in the papers a lot when I was at Uni for saying wild things. I used to read her column on my lunch break on a Sunday. Sometimes I used to think the Mail were setting her up ala Samantha Brick.

 

[annabelle_bronstein]

God it’s all so utterly joyless. Old clothes, ex boyfriends she doesn’t even like but carries on paying for, moaning about food and the eternal ‘tiny hotel room’. Poor me poor me pour me a virgin cocktail

 

[annabelle_bronstein]

Oh god, same old same old. ‘I am funny and fabulous and can name drop for England, I am the most generous person on earth but it’s men as a whole that are at fault’. And the thong of doom gets a mention too

 

[Mediastar]

Just had a glimpse at tomorrow's Dreary: as Cliff Richard might have sung: "Christmas time, usual bollocks and whine".
"You're probably pushing two trolleys round Tesco" she opines, as she orders her organic veg online.
She ponders how it can be that she is not married to a rich man with a big house (spoiler: because you look like a jug-eared bonfire guy and have no personality). Then we get to the meat: Naughty Nirps has been at it again! Daring to write about her! (The very idea!).
Suffice it to say, she married beneath her and is mystified that she ends up alone and miserable.
There's a special shout out to SUE NEEDLEMAN who, apparently, picks up the tab every time they meet. Presumably so she can say "bill's paid, shall we go?" rather than watch Jones hoof up the bar tab.

 

[Nosmo_King]

What an absolutely vile pile of shite.

She really is the most revolting person.

 

[Littlemisadoughnut]

Did anyone see her on celebrity Big brother? I was incredibly disappointed. For someone who spouts off such vitriol in her column, she couldn't have been more boring. Can't imagine she would have the guts to say any of what she writes to people's faces.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

In this week she likens herself to legendary fashion figures like Grace Coddington or Suzy Menkes. The level of self deception is huge.

She equated herself to Princess Diana in the podcast this week because she's been to a war zone

 

[SuntanC]

She's better off having no cats given that she allowed her wretched dogs to kill one and savage another (the latter incident not mentioned in this week's column.) Her beloved Gracie and "Mini Puppy" are elderly now and won't be around much longer, but she already wants to adopt another "nervous collie" so no doubt the cycle would continue. If she got any more cats the RSPCA might start asking questions

Absolutely agree. She calls herself an animal lover and she is anything but. All of her animals sound nervous and distressed, and yeah- imagine the killing of the cat not only happening, but actually admitting to it in a national column. It's revolting.

 

[annabelle_bronstein]

I think she’s the columnist that cried wolf. Literally everyone is beyond caring now

 

[Holly Golightly]

Earlier this year when I visited my parents I flicked to the back of You magazine and couldn’t believe she’s STILL going on about the same old cr*p. I even said to my dad who was sitting next to me, ‘is this one still whinging on?’. How is she even let write a column?!?

It's been non stop David since at least 2013. How can the Fail justify employing her? Most of what she "writes" are copy/pased text messages and brand name dropping.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

The reader, in the singular

 

[Briar Rose]

If you want to listen back to Liz Jones on BBC Radio London last night go to BBC sounds where you will find it 15 minutes in from the start of the Jo Good show which started at 10pm.

Liz wonders why dogs are not always welcome in hotels, saying they are cleaner than men who "put their semen everywhere". Liz got a new rescue dog yesterday from Romania, an enormous, very timid, quite young border collie called Teddy, she has already given him food from Waitrose.

She is so vulgar, urgh!

She should be banned from ever owning animals. Read her ramblings closely. She might love her animals but she should never be allowed to care for another living creature ever again.

 

[House of Tea]

The thing is with grey hair, it’s the texture. I don’t have much grey, and it is on the hidden layers, but the coarseness is a pain. I see women with white/grey hair that has an amazing shine and lustre, but loads more have hair like brillopads. I have never dyed my hair so doubt I will start to cover up the grey, but I am not looking forward to the change in texture.

 

[dee_mc]

Going by her podcast where she read out the column: Liz met yet another new love interest on the internet. However things went south fast when he suggested booking a Premier Inn (far more upsetting to Liz than the fact that he expected to share a room with a woman he was meeting for the first time.) He then blocked her online and cut contact with her, so she did not get a chance to crack out the eyelash pins and Myla thong. She concludes with a long story about a disastrous holiday with a previous boyfriend

I thought she hadn't had a holiday in 92 years?