Liz Jones - You Magazine Columnist

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Liz's devotion to that thong is unparalleled. It beats any love interest she's ever had and even her animals: she won't bother to train her dogs or protect her cats but the Myla Thong is sacred

 

[Miss Anne Thrope]

Thanks, witchofWB!

Hmmm, she may never have said racist things in print. . . .but as a minority myself, I can’t help but wonder what she said in private. After all, she confesses to essentially fetishising black and Asian men, which is gross and inappropriate and a leetle bit racist.

 

[Winepig]

A missed opportunity for mischief there !
I wonder if people DO wind her up on purpose to see if they make it into her column ?

Anyway hello all ; glad to make your acquaintance ….I have found my way here by today’s column ….. I suspect I shall become quite addicted as I was with the DS thread ( though it was closed by the time I found it)

 

[Shawads]

There is so little engagement on any social media. I kinda feel sorry for her and that Box woman

Box? Big.

Ffs. Nic woman.

The twitter response is unbelievable given her position and longevity with the mail. They must keep her on because of the amount of comments and readers of her actual column.
Personally it was the first thing I read every Sunday morning (in my wilderness years, after I'd forsaken god).
latterly I have been less excited to read about her antics and her hilarious antidotes and often prefer to read others' recaps than bother with her repetitive whingeing. Her treatment of David and the reports of him crying in public kind of killed it for me but I still have an interest out of habit I think.
I'm sure there's many people like me who used to enjoy her writing for the 'what will she do next' element but are now reading it because they've invested so much time (& roller-coaster emotions) already.
She's a horrible horrible person. She has zero insight and has never done a thing to improve as a person. No growth. Everything is superficial and bitter.
I still want to know who the so called rocks star is though

 

[emm]

I love that she mentioned tattle by name, I assume (just like with Salk Hughes) she will just drive people here

 

[Be More Pacific]

God imagine if she had been the Editor of Vogue. She would be dining out on that one for the rest of her life!

Yes, but Liz had eleventy billion copies of Vogue, going all the way back from the day it first went into print in 1066, so that's the same surely?

 

[LottieM]

I genuinely think she's broadly asexual, her emotional age is about twelve and her weird obsession with being "hairless" harks back to a wish to remain pre-pubescent for ever. She has never expressed an actual positive emotion towards any man ever. She proclaims to "fancy" men and then despises them. Chance meetings forty yeas ago are various "loves of her life". I cannot recall her ever writing a single sentence either expressing love for a man as a person or for any of their attributes (the baker is a quite talented artist... she has never mentioned this ever She claims to love animals but merely collects them for others to care for.
There is a phase that many girls go through when their first real crush is on a 'pop star' who would be considered broadly androgynous (Marc Bolan, say, or early Bowie) then grow through it. Jones is trapped for ever as a Jackie reader who once glimpsed a copy of Just Seventeen, was absolutely horrified and was determined nothing would change.

I agree with this. I read Liz’s autobiography a couple of years ago, and she describes being sexually assaulted by another child whilst at primary school. Sounds terrifying and painful experience. She takes care to point out that she was ‘hairless’ (didn’t need to say that as she was a child, so of course she would have been). This must surely have affected her more deeply than she let on, and she perhaps feels that a man would only be interested in her when she’s fully waxed. She says in the book that she never told anyone about the assault, not even her mum. But she does recognise that it triggered a fear of men (understandably), and perhaps explains why she gets stuck on the fantasy stage of a relationship, but dislikes intimacy and is quick to find faults in any prospective partner.

 

[House of Tea]

Liz does empathy

I'm used to being invisible, but being obese is a million times worse

Liz Jones, 62, used to be obsessed with maintaining a weight of eight and a half stone. She spent the day as a fat person to see if she can finally beat her own prejudices.

www.dailymail.co.uk

 

[dee_mc]

I mean even if Nirpal is lying/stretching the truth/rewriting history, I'm here for it: Liz is a fraud and from her own accounts, an absolute nightmare to live with. She uses her past relationships, both real and imaginary, as column fodder every week and regularly trips herself up with inconsistencies in her life story: if he wants to do the same thing, I say fair play.
Would a bit of journalistic integrity be nice? Sure! But it's thin on the ground generally.

 

[Never in the World]

I’m laughing I’ll never forget years ago I used to visit my gran and whilst I was there I’d flick through her Sunday Mail so I was aware of liz and her antics

one Sunday evening I was in Edinburgh at the bar of the Dome with my husband and you know when you can feel someone watching you I turned round and low and behold it was mad Liz at least I was pretty sure it was it was only when she wrote about being in the Dome in her following weeks column that I knew it was

 

[Ennui]

That pretty much describes all her writing.



Now I have a dirty dancing theme tune ear worm

I've had the whine of my life...

 

[Miranda13]

The comments are exceptionally supportive of Liz this week - 'how sad when you're so wonderful' - type of drivel.
Are they only allowing those through this week? I wonder why?

 

[Kam2243]

What?! She rehomes dogs when they are no longer puppies?! How is she allowed to do that?! How cruel.

Let me see if I can find the article

edited to add

'I get rid of dogs as soon as they stop being cute puppies'

In the past four years, I have fallen in love with four puppies and bought them for hundreds of pounds, writes Shona Sibary. Then, months later, I have turned my back on them and given them away.

www.google.co.uk

 

[Won’t you have a cup]

She heavily hinted at Jim Kerr, especially with references to his glamorous ex wife (presumably Patsy Kensit) then when he objected she moved on to hinting at Robert Plant or the bloke who was the singer in Killing Joke (Jaz Coleman).

Surely she made it all up? I know that all of the potential candidates for the rock star are knocking on a bit and have passed their career peaks but they have all, to a different degree, been at the top of their respective games. Would they seek out a miserable woe is me whinger who is obsessed with cats and dogs and apparently spends most of her time looking for things to complain about and whining about having to pay HMRC back taxes? Extremely unlikely!

I know a surprising amount about Liz Jones because my mum saves You magazines for me. Because they have clothes, wine and make up in them. I’ve developed a habit of ‘scorn reading’ her column. Does anybody take it seriously? It’s wall to wall misery.

 

[Droosie123]

Ha I used to live in Somerset and she was hated up on Exmoor for all her complaints about the locals. She really insulted them in one of her columns...then whines as they weren’t friendly to her. No Liz....people tend not to like it when you write bullshit about them.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

In Which Russell Runs For the Hills (cut cuz it's long)

Spoiler

Liz gets in a spiel about how much she hates "wellness" talk cuz that'll play well with the Mail's audience. She's much more interested in half a million downloads of the podcast, even though that means half a million listeners know that Liz is incontinent - "not doubly incontinent" she assures us. No, that's just the dogs. Nic gushes again about Liz being "prizewinning" and "columnist of the year." Liz talks about them being invited to a Christmas party which segues into her criticising Nic for not sticking to a diet / fitness plan. Nic has read Holly Willoughby's new book, Liz bashes Holly whom she once called "a disgrace to women" for being photographed without makeup. Liz prides herself on being "subtly bitchy." But it's all OK now because when Liz appeared on This Morning, Philip Schofield criticised her yet Holly stuck up for her. She claims Holly said Liz was "just doing her job" by being cruel in print. Sure, Mac, sure.

Liz complains again about how Nic didn't get her a birthday present and Liz gets "nothing, nothing, nothing." Liz claims that after she tweeted this week about how people should stop having kids if they claim to care about the environment, she received a death threat and comments about her being a cat lady or not deserving to be a mother. She professes to be "an intellectual" with "nine O-levels." This all leads into her archive column which is - surprise! - the infamous sperm banditry column. She says the column was doing a favour to men as she wants them to know how evil and devious women are and the lengths they'll go to so they can get pregnant. All women want is to stay at home "ironing tea towels" and "making Nigella Lawson recipes". They're too lazy to work a proper job, as Liz knows because of all the women that ruined her business by taking maternity leave. I do believe we've filled an entire bingo card in the space of about three minutes.

This week's column: Liz got in touch with Russell, the "film star" she spoke about last week. Except he's now retired from being a "film star." She again repeats that he was in Cry Freedom, which she rented and rewatched his 10-second appearance over and over. Nic has taken to emailing his documentary appearance to fans of Liz who couldn't access iPlayer. Liz stalked him online, got his work contact details, and emailed him. He sent a reply, and Liz humblebragged to him about her stellar career, awards, and interviewing actual movie stars. She had Nic Photoshop an old photo to send him, pretending that it was recent. And flirted heavily with him. Liz bought a "milky" cashmere tank top, booked a "dry-cleaning" of her teeth, and has been using Sisley face masks. He didn't reply for two weeks, and then came back with a polite response saying he would send some pictures of old parties in her flat. At the time of writing he hadn't come back to her and she fears he has Googled her.

We get the anti-climactic conclusion to the brain scan saga: Liz just has "an imbalance in her left ear" and has been prescribed "water tablets." Does she mean diuretics? As if she doesn't take enough piss already. She didn't want to "waste" her body wax so she booked a room at Soho House and contacted an ex for a booty call in the room. Nic reads a gushing fan letter supposedly from someone whose young daughter wants to be just like Liz and avidly reads the column every week. And another one from the founder of the shelter where Nic got her rescue dog, who reportedly said Liz is as witty as Jennifer Saunders. I doubt it, somehow.

 

[shushablay]

haha oh dear, we're being all mean about her..diddums..this is just after she has been incredibly rude to a hairdresser who is only pointing out the truth, and deciding she's not going to tip her very well, similar to the car valet person...I gave a large tip to him before, therefore I shall treat him as a minion, a mere peasant..she really is one nasty, unpleasant piece of work and as for columnist of the year...being joint winner with Jan Moir, another toxic waste dump is not something I would be crowing about.

I am glad that she reads this though, unfortunately she's too much of a narcissist to take any of it on board and become a better person, but she's always been shielded from the majority of public opinion due to comment moderation, so this is a dose of reality

 

[thatstupidcat]

Stop taking the piss out of the modern day Helen of Troy that is Samantha Brick...it just demonstrates that you’re jealous of how beautiful she is

In all seriousness I think she came back a couple of times with some more stupid stories before fading into obscurity. I think the last gasp of her 15mins was a mea culpa saying she regret the “Women Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful” article.

There was that other lady journalist with a squint (I forget her name) at the time who kept boasting how much she hated her kids, while including them and their pictures in her articles. Anyone remember her?

 

[Be More Pacific]

Unbelievably, the sour faced old witch has won an award for that utter drivel she churns out!

"Liz Jones, winning Columnist Of The Year in the Popular category for her 'irresistible and delightfully indiscreet' confessions in You magazine every Sunday that 'leave the reader desperate for the next instalment'."

Mail on Sunday scoops FOUR of the top awards at Press Oscars

Judges awarding the accolades - the Oscars of British journalism - heaped praise on agenda-setting stories and fearless commentary.

www.dailymail.co.uk

 

[Mustard]

She wants pets to receive treatment on the NHS as vets bills are very expensive. It was pointed out by Peter Purves that you not get a pet if cannot afford its upkeep.

This reminds me of when the chairman head of Saatchi Advertising Agency set up a Go Fund me for his dog’s orthopaedic surgery with Supervet Noel Fitzpatrick. He’d neglected to purchase enough pet insurance cover to pay (think it was about £4K worth of cover) and there was a shortfall. There was a huge brouhaha in the press, inc Private Rye and on wife’s Insta account. They did return some of the money afterwards but not before his wife said she’d set up the GFM as people had asked how they could help. His name is Richard Huntington, hers is Annabel Bird and the dog’s name and Insta account is Edward Lear. Easy to track down and read about. This was in 2018.