Liz Jones - You Magazine Columnist

[liar liar]

It's rather a sad story. There was a time when she had a modicum of talent... but that is long ago now.
She made the classic mistake of thinking that life was all about money and things. So she made quite a lot of money and bought some insanely expensive things... but she didn't realise that she was a) hideously lonely because she's not very nice and b) paying tax on your earnings is somethig of a given.
Consequently, she had to give up a house she bought up here (a funny story in itself: a *friend* acted as an intermediary in the purchase, persuaded her to pay way over the odds and got a slice of the profit!) when she was bankrupted by HMRC. She had previously owned a house in Somerset or thereabouts and a sizeable parcel of land. I know the house went but I'm not sure about the land.
Nowadays, she shares a rented ex-domestic servant's quarters here and, judging by the internal photos, in a state of near squalor (coincidentally, her old house that she had to sell in Low Row was also described as such by someone who viewed it).
She doesn't really do anything all day, doesn't engage with the locals and cuts a rather sad figure of a lonely old lady in her mid-sixties.
As far as her (ironic laugh) love-life is concerned, she tried to coerce a very ex-boyfriend into marriage because he had a) elderly parents with money and b) a flat in London. She failed. Prior to that she had invented a "famous Rock Star" boyfriend which, against the odds, caught a section of the public's interest for a while (aided and abetted by Ms Jones herself who invented a number of sock puppets on Mumsnet to stoke interest). Sadly, by this stage, she had acquired quite a thirst and, as a consequence, kept making mistakes in her narrative with regards to who he was, what he looked like, what he did, what he owned and other such trifling details.
In an attempt to draw all this together, she attempted to explicitly imply that it was Jim Kerr. When that blew up in her face, she claimed that her boyf had been at it in her (company rented) London flat with a third party and that she had binned him.
With literally nothing else going on in her life, she has since fixated on various exes, her ex-husband, an ex-colleague with whom she worked twice, as well as anyone who she feels has slighted her (anyone who is successful, married, solvent etc.) and is charting her own decline into madness.
She wrote two truly awful books: one an 'autobiography' and the other a 'novel', both of which bombed. There was talk of a tour to promote the latter which had to be cancelled (allegedly because of The Rona) which left several dozen ticket holders somewhat disappointed.
She now lives in a fantasy life, thoughtfully enabled by her 'assistant', and dreams of owning another house, of money and of glamour. A bit like Miss Havisham's older sister.
And today? Well, she thought she'd trot out the Fake Rock Star again (having conveniently forgotten that he'd allegedly cheated on her [see "quite a thirst" above]) with impeccable Lockdown timing.
Will they? Won't they? who cares, eh?

Oh yeah - she reminded me of that Janis Ian song 'At 17'!

'And those of us with ravaged faces
Lacking in the social graces
Desperately remained at home
Inventing lovers on the phone
Who called to say "come dance with me"
And murmured vague obscenities
It isn't all it seems
At seventeen'

Pick any age ya like the seeds were sewn.

 

[Mediastar]

It absolutely is. She’s a member of the dark triad personality disorder in my opinion. I truly hope her pretty vivacious sisters had interesting vibrant lives before they were trashed.There’s a companion piece on Mail plus to the Alcohol Denial one. She wrote she hates people with hobbies.. cycling, baking, creative stuff,hiking.. you know human beings? Most of us.
Apparently we annoy her and frighten her(vicious, sheep/cat killing dogs). I see her as the ultimate sad troll really.. carping and side swiping at those of us who take pleasure in other people and small precious stuff. Then despite her protestations she gets to writing when inebriated. I think she does have an alcohol prob…. It would explain the severe dehydrated look and the awful dried out hair?
All Narcs, as they get elderly, get worse.. the momentum of evil envy speeds up? Why do we have relatives and friends and get presents and love one another deeply.. Liz why don’t YOU have that?

I agree. The really funny thing is that it's a weird, ersatz, Poundland hatred. Not driven by passion or ideals but by envy and laziness.
Anything which highlights the futility of her own existence is automatically hated. It saves the bother of actually thinking and takes up valuable drinking time.
I think I mentioned before that you can chart her drinking by the decline in quality of output over the past twenty years? While the targets of her keenest hatred (married, peer-aged women with children and careers) are now reaping the massive rewards: children graduating, building careers, having children of their own, carving their own futures; all Jones can do is hate them, bemoan her lot, blame other people. Tomorrow's Dreary is a key example of this blind envy and hatred. A cold, dead fire in a cold, dead life.

 

[shushablay]

God she popped up on morning tv this morning, that was a bit of a fright when still half asleep. Clutching one of her dogs and whinging about how her taxes pay for other people’s children blah blah, though I was fixated on her weird wonky drawn on eyebrows how can someone that spends so much on ‘grooming’ look like they’ve just been dug up?

yeah right, she who was made bankrupt just a couple of years ago for not paying her taxes..omg the whining about all of her hard work and everything was just being taken from her by these horrible people,

but then also the backtracking apparently when quizzed by the inland revenue about all of the bling she allegedly splashed out on and treatments and whatever that she bragged about in her column she said it was a work of fiction and that it was her job to present as this wealthy, attractive and intellectual older woman, but that was not her real life..that was the first believable thing she said ever, as she has none of these qualities

 

[House of Tea]

Her thong gets a mention. Plus an enormous penis in an Uber.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

There may be only one thread here, but that's partly because digitalspy stopped updating her thread and people migrated to FB and over here. There were 4 massive threads on Jiz's moonbattery on DS. Lots of insightful people discussing her articles on Somali, that poor girl Joanna Yeates, her neighbours in Somerset, her neighbour in Yorkshire and much, much more. The sheer scale of her awfulness is incredible when you think about all the stuff she's written. Ooh, I left out the sperm stealing!

The DS threads also had more people that were familiar with Liz IRL - including "Garnier Fructis Woman" (David's ex that Liz trashed in print) and neighbours in Yorkshire

 

[Miss Lola]

Time this old hag was put out to pasture. Way past her sell by date. Why the MoS continues to employ her, god only knows
and if you’re reading this Liz (we know you do, despite your protestations) - if you think I’m another troll, so be it. You’re a despicable piece of work, who inexplicably ‘got lucky’
You are THE bully.

 

[Purplepeopleeater]

I can't work out if she is very damaged, a complete bitch, totally awful or all combined.

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Jizzy's problem is wherever she goes, she will be there. She is way too stupid and self absorbed to see that the problem with her interpersonal relationships is her. She casts herself as the heroine in her life and everyone else is evil, stupid and horrible. The woman is a fucknut!

 

[Geranium]

Just think of all those pure cashmere babygros (so practical!) she gave to those women who had the nerve to procreate! Surely they owe her something!

 

[Wifo1976]

I bet it's Chico from X factor

Or one of Black Lace

 

[annabelle_bronstein]

This week Liz resurrects the Rock Star and claims her "profound deafness" is caused by Ménière's Disease. Can't find any record of her ever mentioning this condition before ...

If she was actually meeting a rock star in a public place then you can’t tell me someone wouldn’t get a photo..

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

And by her own accounts, her horses kept dropping dead and getting sick too. A self professed animal lover who fails to train them properly and lets them suffer unnecessarily - IMHO.

Liz is antivax / COVID-denier (as she's repeatedly indicated on Twitter) so it wouldn't surprise me that she doesn't believe in medicine for her animals either. She hired Nic to care for the horses on the strength of Nic having some kind of certificate in homeopathic remedies and also had a "homeopathic vet" for her farm animals

 

[shushablay]

thinking about how she gets away with some of the things she writes, referring to someone as an Osama Bin Laden lookalike and her incredible rudeness, is that not that many people actually read her ramblings now as Kikini says above, even the haters can't be arsed any more, I think most of us are here is because we cannot believe that the DM still pay her for this crap and the day her column disappears will not be in any way sad about it, I know I'll just be thinking meh, whatever, knowing that the DM will still provide some dire rubbish for me to sigh and shake my head at.

Clearly there are very few younger people who read her rubbish, because I think they'd have brought cancel culture down on her by now, but yeah compared to others who have threads on this forum, hers is very slow moving, simply because people really only comment when she's expelled another tome of crap in her diary, and we want to laugh at her, not with her, at her. Someone was asking about a thread title for subsequent Liz threads the other day, I think that may take some time to get to that point, because no one cares enough to comment on her...it's busier today than lots of other weeks, simply because she gave us a plug..cheers Liz, but there's really not that much you can say about a washed up, lying, balding old tart, apart from omg what a load of crap..please make it stop.

 

[Kam2243]

Shona Sibary who’s rehomed several dogs when they get past the cute puppy stage, who wrote an “anonymous” article about how she was shoplifting, who’s daughter stole their car and took it on a joy ride in the middle of the night with no licence and didn’t even get in trouble from her parents? Her and Liz must be from the same school of writing!

 

[Mediastar]

It's worth pointing out that, were she to try and rehome a dog from a UK shelter, they'd do a home visit. Go figure.

 

[Origen]

Yes it is sad Emm but my sympathy goes mostly to the piles of bodies she’s left strewn behind her..her estranged family, the friends she’s berated in her column, all the service folk she’s shouted out and complained about? Regarding her ‘Love’ relationships she does the Narc sequence of Idealise, Denigrate then Discard with each of them! She’s speeded that sequence up of late.. remember P?? His gifts didn’t pass muster, nor did the ageing Rock Stars shoes..? All without taking a shred of responsibility. I don’t think true self reflection is one thing she’s capable of. Like all Narcs people are mere props to her. So no recovery is possible IMO..

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Woe is me Liz Jones. For someone who regularly dishes out the dirt on just about everyone she encounters in life, it is a little rich of her to have a whole column dedicated to her whine-fest! If she wasn’t so needy, so desperate to look perfect the whole time and lightened up, she might find that men, in particular, might be attracted to her. No man wants a high maintenance woman such as Liz. They want a woman who is relaxed and carefree, not one who hurried to the loo to sort out her corner lashes! I cringe when I read her weekly column.

Who has a Smeg fridge and separates her eyelashes with a pin (I like Smeg fridges and would like one, but the way Liz talks about it as if it's something every man wants in a girlfriend - WTF? Most men couldn't care less what fridge she has as long as it's clean and contains some kind of food he likes)

 

[shushablay]

indeed, I hate how people give her a pass because, she loves animals so much, truth is she doesn't really, she spoils them and lets them do what they want, but that is not actually good for them. I remember one of the cat maulings/killings she said she was really disappointed with grace for doing it, how could she? Erm that's what untrained, undisciplined dogs do, she might think that they are her "family" and whilst I agree that animals can be really intelligent, they are not people, you can't give them a moral code that they would understand the same way people would.

 

[thatstupidcat]

So glad to find this thread, I forgot my ds log in deets and it's quite tricky with trying to get back to in / get a new account as you have to wait for 'The Moderators'.
Plus ds is quite quiet nowadays but well worth a look at the extensive research on there.
I expect it to perk up too, now she's reintroduced The Rock Star.


She wrote a book maybe last year, called something Like 8.5 stone and written it from the perspective of a much larger woman.
I haven't read it but I've seen reviews on ds from non-fans who've read it.
it's supposedly vile in terms of body shaming, she widely misses the mark whilst pretending to be 'woke' & inclusive, but the publishers must have ascertained who her fans are and sent them free copies, people wrote about being in tears from laughing so much

She was supposed to be doing a promo stage show to promote the book but it was all postponed / cancelled due to the corona

Ha!

Tbh when I see anything Jack Monroe related, I always think of Liz Jones. They have a great deal in common. Wealthy backgrounds that they constantly lie about, fancy schools, eating disorders, misogyny, success based on connections over talent, and relying on people hate reading their hypocritical tomes for a living.

The young wokesters like to think they are reinventing the wheel, but Liz Jones and her ilk cared more about duck pouts, cats,
”influencing” and veganism many years before their idols did.

The new book makes sense as to why a thread about a 90‘s non entity was started randomly on a gossip site. If you’re reading this Liz, did you ever get your pubes tattooed back on?

I distinctly remember your article lamenting years of religiously waxing had given you an, ahem, bald spot...

 

[isitlunchtime]

I genuinely cannot believe she still has a column