I was reading over Liz's column when it first started in the Guardian 20 years ago. It had similar vibes as now and you could see the beginnings of her carping at Nirpal in print but she did come across as happier and seem to actually enjoy things. She could also do her "I wouldn't live like common people act" without sounding too mean-spirited. E.g. one entry mentions that Nirpal made her take a bus instead of a cab so they could save for the wedding, she unconvincingly wrote that she had never taken a bus before but at least sounded positive about it
Liz Jones #2 Nobody puts the Myla Thong in a corner!
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Yeah I remember the early posts about Nirpal too. The column was also interspersed with comments about other writers, animals etc. There wasn’t so much negative stuff about Mums or her family? I thought she was self absorbed but sometimes funny. Now I’d say she’s mentally unstable and her Narcissism has heightened. I also think she has an alcohol dependency, today’s column was incoherent in places.
She does have a drink problem although she wavers on whether she currently has it or it was miraculously cured on a spa holiday LOL
She didn't seem so keen to attack mums, no. She wrote for e.g. about feeling self conscious that her very beautiful 14 year old niece was going to be a bridesmaid but again was quite positive about her being in the wedding. Now she'd be doing the whole "EVERY CHILD ADDS TEN YEARS" and recounting some incident where her niece wasn't grateful to receive designer goods
Like a tit version of Fight Club?
Did the attack on mums start after the mumsnet partydrugsgate thread?
It's been going on a while, I think it's a combination of feeling like she has been somehow cheated (she doesn't really like men nor children but all her sisters and friends were married with kids so she wants them too) and resenting her staff at Marie Claire for taking maternity leave, which she says "ruined the business" and seems to be part of her excuse for declining sales when she was Editor
Nige from Dorset has to be Nic. If Liz's mum were still alive I'd have to say it was her mum, or someone she's asked/ paid/ begged to say nice things about her and make her sound appealing
She was definitely anti mums before Mumsnet drugsgate. I'm sure David's friends massively disliked her in no small part because of her vile opinions in her column.
They must have been absolutely flabbergasted when he not only turned up with her to events but stayed with her for years on and off,
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Now that is a column I would read! I think Liz is insanely jealous because Nic has a boyfriend.I hope that Nic is secretly plotting to have her own newspaper column at a rival paper.
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This is what I don‘t understand. Liz has had her hair and makeup done professionally loads of times, and she still can’t do her own makeup properly. She seems to do her eyeliner with a sharpie pen. If she had her hair cut shorter and a few lowlights in it, she would look ten years younger without having to resort to facelifts. I don’t actually think she is very bright.
She is so ignorant that she actually believes the the dogs know they’ve done something wrong. They don’t. They are animals, not children!This is the description of the cat mauling of Sweetie.. it is disgusting reading and abject cruelty of animals. She still has some of those dogs? Mr Doe has clearly read these kind of articles about her history with rescues.
Liz Jones's Diary: In which there's another family crisis
This week's disaster? I'd left the house for minutes and my sheepdogs had attacked my cat Sweetie. There was blood everywhere and her left back leg had no fur. I had to get her to a vet - quicklywww.dailymail.co.uk
She is so ignorant that she actually believes the the dogs know they’ve done something wrong. They don’t. They are animals, not children!This is the description of the cat mauling of Sweetie.. it is disgusting reading and abject cruelty of animals. She still has some of those dogs? Mr Doe has clearly read these kind of articles about her history with rescues.
Liz Jones's Diary: In which there's another family crisis
This week's disaster? I'd left the house for minutes and my sheepdogs had attacked my cat Sweetie. There was blood everywhere and her left back leg had no fur. I had to get her to a vet - quickly
She also wrote that she not invited him so he could hold some of the dog leads. Vile woman!I’m trying to get my mind round the fact that she put that taster chapter out there, then asked him to come for a ‘Spa Cottage’ break at New Years?Ok.. it’s fiction but it’s also a thinly veiled dig at his life and how repulsive she finds him physically. She must have known he’d read it?? He’s far from blameless in the whole sordid co-dependent mess I agree but it’s so envious, threatening bile.Surely now their relationship is kaput!
She also wrote that she not invited him so he could hold some of the dog leads. Vile woman!I’m trying to get my mind round the fact that she put that taster chapter out there, then asked him to come for a ‘Spa Cottage’ break at New Years?
I doubt any man would even know, or care!
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It’s my opinion that David continued the relationship for the fringe benefits, nice hotels, and presents? There are at least two versions of their ‘first meeting’after decades. One in 2005( see Tattle bio)and one in 2013. In the first he’s firmly attached to another woman and can barely remember Liz? By 2013 he’s much more receptive because he’s single and on his uppers financially? LJ claims his very elderly mother spoke with her and alerted her to David’s plight… highly unlikely. She only met his parents in 2014 by which time they were 93. They didn’t hit it off at all…
I think what is likely is she stalked David for years particularly after her marriage to Nirpal ended, it’s like Nigel in Australia and Russell the tour guide but David however probably bit her hand off!(At the time anyway)
Stalking men for years would appear to be her modus operandi?She’s basically bought her way into her long term relationships and all the bad sex and resentment comes from that. Hopefully David’s now realised that all the spa breaks and Brora sweaters in the world don’t make up for the trials by fire that an LJ relationship means?
It would be great to hear his side but by doing so he’d probably have to admit his own expediency and greediness! Nirpal and him have more in common than first realised
They've got one key difference though: David was old enough and experienced enough to know better (and at that, he had more going financially for him than Nirpal did)
Yeah that’s true. Plus Nirpal thought she was only six years older not sixteen! She was still technically married to him when she met with David in 2005 apparently.
I’ve found it!
Here’s the Diary entry from almost 9 years ago, when David got in touch again.
It is never explained (of course) how he got her number…
www.dailymail.co.uk
Here’s the Diary entry from almost 9 years ago, when David got in touch again.
It is never explained (of course) how he got her number…
Liz Jones's diary: In which I get an intriguing text
I couldn't believe that it was the boy next door from 30 years ago
And… here’s the one from 2005!!! It doesn’t exist online anymore.. just here. Have cut and pasted so v. long! She is Pinocchios mother!
Found it! Was printed in the Mail and then re,over.
she later pretends she meets him again in the Dreary
@Nordic)
"Liz,' the northern voice on the other end of the phone said. 'It's David Scrace.' This is someone I hadn't spoken to for 22 years. My first proper, proper love, someone I would have given anything in order to make him love me back.
We arranged to meet for lunch. I spent hours getting ready.
Would I be a disappointment after all these years? He had sent me a text saying he hoped he wouldn't be a disappointment.
Because he had never dumped me, I had never got over him. He was my, 'What if?' I remember what it was like, loving him.
It was a fierce longing I have never felt since.
When we met I was 20, 21 and he was 32. If he had only succumbed to my charms, I could have had a happier life, been, well, normal. I would probably even have a giant teenager by now.
I got to the restaurant early.
'Your guest is already here,' said the ma"tre d'. I looked over at the small man at the bar. He had really long, grey hair but the twinkle in the eyes was still there. We hugged. We sat down. I told him I wanted some answers, closure. He looked scared.
For Cathrin.....
'Did you know I loved you?' I asked him. 'No, I didn't have a clue,' he said. 'But even your best friend guessed,' I persisted. 'He never mentioned it,' he replied. (What do men talk about?) I asked him if I had actually told him how I felt, would he have gone out with me? 'No,' he said. 'You just weren't my type. You really had a lucky escape. I'm a complete waste of space.
It would have ended badly.' He told me he had got married in 1985, had a son, Ben, now 18, and then his marriage broke up because he had an affair. He lived in France for few years, but is now back in London, with a new girlfriend, Paola, who is two years younger than I am. 'Did you realise our trip to see Siouxsie and the Banshees was a date?' I asked him. 'Um, no. I don't remember even going, to be honest.' He commented on the fact I must be really successful. 'Yes, well, I threw myself into work when I couldn't have you,' I said, which was true. Plus, my self-esteem had taken a mortal blow.
When I got home, I cried for my 21-year-old self. If I had known then what I know now - that David would marry two years later, that I would wait 20 years before I found someone who loved me back - I would have given up there and then. If I think of all the time and effort I put into making him love me - the squash lessons, the concert tickets - and for what?
I had reminded him that at the party I held in 1983, just so that I could invite him, he had got off with my friend Wilma.
'How on earth is she?' he had said as I paid the bill. I asked if he thought I had changed. 'You still have the same hairstyle. To be honest, I hadn't even remembered your name,' he said, walking out of my life all over again."
Publication dated 9th October 2005.
Just flagging this as I think it should be in the wiki - it’s such a blatant provable lie. I’ll see if I can find the deets…
Found it! Was printed in the Mail and then re,over.
she later pretends she meets him again in the Dreary
@Nordic)"Liz,' the northern voice on the other end of the phone said. 'It's David Scrace.' This is someone I hadn't spoken to for 22 years. My first proper, proper love, someone I would have given anything in order to make him love me back.
We arranged to meet for lunch. I spent hours getting ready.
Would I be a disappointment after all these years? He had sent me a text saying he hoped he wouldn't be a disappointment.
Because he had never dumped me, I had never got over him. He was my, 'What if?' I remember what it was like, loving him.
It was a fierce longing I have never felt since.
When we met I was 20, 21 and he was 32. If he had only succumbed to my charms, I could have had a happier life, been, well, normal. I would probably even have a giant teenager by now.
I got to the restaurant early.
'Your guest is already here,' said the ma"tre d'. I looked over at the small man at the bar. He had really long, grey hair but the twinkle in the eyes was still there. We hugged. We sat down. I told him I wanted some answers, closure. He looked scared.
For Cathrin.....
'Did you know I loved you?' I asked him. 'No, I didn't have a clue,' he said. 'But even your best friend guessed,' I persisted. 'He never mentioned it,' he replied. (What do men talk about?) I asked him if I had actually told him how I felt, would he have gone out with me? 'No,' he said. 'You just weren't my type. You really had a lucky escape. I'm a complete waste of space.
It would have ended badly.' He told me he had got married in 1985, had a son, Ben, now 18, and then his marriage broke up because he had an affair. He lived in France for few years, but is now back in London, with a new girlfriend, Paola, who is two years younger than I am. 'Did you realise our trip to see Siouxsie and the Banshees was a date?' I asked him. 'Um, no. I don't remember even going, to be honest.' He commented on the fact I must be really successful. 'Yes, well, I threw myself into work when I couldn't have you,' I said, which was true. Plus, my self-esteem had taken a mortal blow.
When I got home, I cried for my 21-year-old self. If I had known then what I know now - that David would marry two years later, that I would wait 20 years before I found someone who loved me back - I would have given up there and then. If I think of all the time and effort I put into making him love me - the squash lessons, the concert tickets - and for what?
I had reminded him that at the party I held in 1983, just so that I could invite him, he had got off with my friend Wilma.
'How on earth is she?' he had said as I paid the bill. I asked if he thought I had changed. 'You still have the same hairstyle. To be honest, I hadn't even remembered your name,' he said, walking out of my life all over again."
Publication dated 9th October 2005.
Added to wiki! Oh dear, Liz
Beyond parody eh?.. It’s Nordic who deserves credit for finding that 2005 ‘Alternative’ narrative though ,not me. Maybe ‘The Tortoise’ will give us the answers!
.. It’s Nordic who deserves credit for finding that 2005 ‘Alternative’ narrative though ,not me. Maybe ‘The Tortoise’ will give us the answers!
thanks! I am still amazed that she has managed to hide this. Or perhaps the lie was the original article?Beyond parody eh?
I did wonder that too… but there are aspects that seem truthful, he has girlfriend, doesn’t remember her, can only place her through friend? 8 years later, he’s far more needy. I do believe she kept close tabs on him and pounced!
I think the original is probably closer to the truth..he just wasn't interested in her, and never was. But Liz likes to re-imagine scenarios to fit her narrative better, so when she re-met David and he was a lot more vulnerable and took the bait, she has clearly decided that re-hashing the original was going to show her as a needy, desperate woman, clinging onto something that was never meant to be..so she just changed the story.
Furthermore, Liz grew up and went through many of her working years without the internet as we know it today, so in her mind it didn't matter what she'd said a few years ago, who the heck would remember and no one keeps old copies of the mail lying around (well not those who are sane) so it was just a case of..hmm, I know I've talked about David before, but he wasn't very flattering about her, but she desperately wants a relationship, so just re-write it like a fairytale...not really thinking that her readers can easily access all of her previous work in the internet and point out the inconsistencies. I think that' why she's believes she lives in an ivory tower and that no one can touch her, because that's always how it was, no one ever had the right to reply..now though with comments on articles, reams of archive material and sites like Tattle, people now have a bit more of a voice and a lot more information to challenge her.
Furthermore, Liz grew up and went through many of her working years without the internet as we know it today, so in her mind it didn't matter what she'd said a few years ago, who the heck would remember and no one keeps old copies of the mail lying around (well not those who are sane) so it was just a case of..hmm, I know I've talked about David before, but he wasn't very flattering about her, but she desperately wants a relationship, so just re-write it like a fairytale...not really thinking that her readers can easily access all of her previous work in the internet and point out the inconsistencies. I think that' why she's believes she lives in an ivory tower and that no one can touch her, because that's always how it was, no one ever had the right to reply..now though with comments on articles, reams of archive material and sites like Tattle, people now have a bit more of a voice and a lot more information to challenge her.
Jones' Mad World aka The Podcast. Cut for length
We start with a Prince song, not sure which one sorry, I've never listened to him. Liz rambles about her ex Trevor (yes the one whose sperm she planned to burgle) and her lifelong love of Prince. She tells a highly dubious story about Prince hitting on her when she met him. There is an interruption from her untrained hounds barking and growling; I can't imagine what living with them must be like. She and Nic talk about how meeting Prince was like "living through history" and claim that no one iconic is alive any more. Nic says that meeting Prince was "more than an interview" for Liz because she was in luuuurve with him. Once again Liz tortures us with an attempt to sing. Liz thinks that Prince's death did not get as much coverage as other mega-celebrities and it was unfair. We get our weekly criticism of Adele, this time that her lyrics aren't as good as Prince's.
Liz talks about The Tinder Swindler on Netflix which she enjoyed but both she and Nic think the women involved were very desperate. Nic says, "Why can't they smell BS?" Nic is the last person in the world who should be saying this. We get Nic's usual book review, of some or other book about "what men want." Nic and Liz say they are not anti-men (LOLOL) and it's sooooo unfair that everyone hates men and sees them as potential rapists/murderers. Liz brings up the Sarah Everard murder and says Sarah had a lot of men she was close too, bear in mind that only a few months ago Liz thought it appropriate to make a crude joke about Sarah's murder on the podcast. She complains that her brothers and boyfriends/husband were all useless whereas her father is a REAL MAN because he fought the Nazis. She says "even if you're a feminist you can't deny women didn't fight the Nazis." Hey, Liz? That's because they were (at least in the UK) excluded from front line combat. In some countries they really did fight the Nazis. Liz thinks that spying, cracking codes, and working on farms weren't REAL contributions to the war effort. But she then calls modern men "pathetic babies" so it all works out really.
Liz humblebrags that she and Nic just have higher standards because THEY don't have to rely on men so they can be SAHMs or pay the mortgage. Nic admits that she does not listen to her own boyfriend and says some 90s-style crap about how it's like we're from different planets really! Anyway, the column: Liz hates Valentine's Day and complains about Nirpal giving her a fake rose with glitter on it. She asks all fake-self-consciously if she'll get anything this year. She and Nic both agree that men should just give presents on Valentine's Day and not receive anything, so much for being all pro-men earlier! Nic talks happily about past Valentine's Days she enjoyed and Liz gets in a bitchy comment about how Nic's boyfriend will not do anything romantic for her.
But Liz's column this week is all about how she loves being single because on Valentine's Day she can eat vegan food and watch a Keira Knightley movie marathon. She whines "no one will criticise meeeee or shout at MINI PUPPY" or tell her not to watch the SATC reboot. We get a detailed description, yet again, of how Carrie Bradshaw is JUST like Liz including having no money. I don't know, Carrie blew $40,000 on shoes, that's nothing compared to the £150,000+ of consumer debt Liz had before bankruptcy. Liz brings up SATC as always, she thinks the reboot "realistic" and anyone who says otherwise has a perfect life with GIANT CHILDREN. She says some stuff about how she owned the first Blackberry in London and was a pioneer in IT. Yeah, I have no idea either. Yet again she brings up the nonsense about her ex's dick pics showing up in the cloud on her phone.
We get more "BLOCK! BLOCK! BLOCK!" and Liz says "I'm sick of men annoying me!" I don't think they're particularly thrilled by you either, Liz. She received a "cryptic" package from Amazon, apparently something aimed at children? Which she thinks was a poorly intended present from an ex (suggested to be David.) And complains he's not leaving her alone ... until she wants another booty call next week of course. No archive column, we wrap up with letters from a totes real man who asks why Liz bothers with all her beauty treatments and totes real women who agree with Liz. Liz says "it's all about inner poise like Bridget Jones" and she needs to look groomed for her job, she can't be photographed in a designer dress with "mad hair." If Midnight Storm, which by her own admission doesn't reflect light i.e. an actual sucking black hole, doesn't count as mad what does?
Liz talks about The Tinder Swindler on Netflix which she enjoyed but both she and Nic think the women involved were very desperate. Nic says, "Why can't they smell BS?" Nic is the last person in the world who should be saying this. We get Nic's usual book review, of some or other book about "what men want." Nic and Liz say they are not anti-men (LOLOL) and it's sooooo unfair that everyone hates men and sees them as potential rapists/murderers. Liz brings up the Sarah Everard murder and says Sarah had a lot of men she was close too, bear in mind that only a few months ago Liz thought it appropriate to make a crude joke about Sarah's murder on the podcast. She complains that her brothers and boyfriends/husband were all useless whereas her father is a REAL MAN because he fought the Nazis. She says "even if you're a feminist you can't deny women didn't fight the Nazis." Hey, Liz? That's because they were (at least in the UK) excluded from front line combat. In some countries they really did fight the Nazis. Liz thinks that spying, cracking codes, and working on farms weren't REAL contributions to the war effort. But she then calls modern men "pathetic babies" so it all works out really.
Liz humblebrags that she and Nic just have higher standards because THEY don't have to rely on men so they can be SAHMs or pay the mortgage. Nic admits that she does not listen to her own boyfriend and says some 90s-style crap about how it's like we're from different planets really! Anyway, the column: Liz hates Valentine's Day and complains about Nirpal giving her a fake rose with glitter on it. She asks all fake-self-consciously if she'll get anything this year. She and Nic both agree that men should just give presents on Valentine's Day and not receive anything, so much for being all pro-men earlier! Nic talks happily about past Valentine's Days she enjoyed and Liz gets in a bitchy comment about how Nic's boyfriend will not do anything romantic for her.
But Liz's column this week is all about how she loves being single because on Valentine's Day she can eat vegan food and watch a Keira Knightley movie marathon. She whines "no one will criticise meeeee or shout at MINI PUPPY" or tell her not to watch the SATC reboot. We get a detailed description, yet again, of how Carrie Bradshaw is JUST like Liz including having no money. I don't know, Carrie blew $40,000 on shoes, that's nothing compared to the £150,000+ of consumer debt Liz had before bankruptcy. Liz brings up SATC as always, she thinks the reboot "realistic" and anyone who says otherwise has a perfect life with GIANT CHILDREN. She says some stuff about how she owned the first Blackberry in London and was a pioneer in IT. Yeah, I have no idea either. Yet again she brings up the nonsense about her ex's dick pics showing up in the cloud on her phone.
We get more "BLOCK! BLOCK! BLOCK!" and Liz says "I'm sick of men annoying me!" I don't think they're particularly thrilled by you either, Liz. She received a "cryptic" package from Amazon, apparently something aimed at children? Which she thinks was a poorly intended present from an ex (suggested to be David.) And complains he's not leaving her alone ... until she wants another booty call next week of course. No archive column, we wrap up with letters from a totes real man who asks why Liz bothers with all her beauty treatments and totes real women who agree with Liz. Liz says "it's all about inner poise like Bridget Jones" and she needs to look groomed for her job, she can't be photographed in a designer dress with "mad hair." If Midnight Storm, which by her own admission doesn't reflect light i.e. an actual sucking black hole, doesn't count as mad what does?
Considering I mentioned in my last post that Liz doesn't seem to understand the internet of today, in terms of being able to dig up everything...Nooo on the contrary, she was the first blackberry owner in London...yeah and they're also obsolete these days.
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