..it beggars belief! At least Christian Bale did actually have a ‘tight little arse’ in the film though
Liz Jones #2 Nobody puts the Myla Thong in a corner!
- Start date
-
- Tags
- Liz Jones Threads Wiki
- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
..it beggars belief! At least Christian Bale did actually have a ‘tight little arse’ in the film though
‘Alpha female’ had me prostrate with laughter 
Who thinks she’s famous these days??
She pretended to be sixteen years younger than she was. Maybe he was myopic?
He’s no prize.. he took the cash and gifts but she did use him for escort services and as an outlet for her racist sexual predilections.
All and all.. move on warped / self absorbed people. He does write marginally better than her though?
Who thinks she’s famous these days??She pretended to be sixteen years younger than she was. Maybe he was myopic?
He’s no prize.. he took the cash and gifts but she did use him for escort services and as an outlet for her racist sexual predilections.
All and all.. move on warped / self absorbed people. He does write marginally better than her though?
They are both a pair of narcissists. She, however, has more of a chip on her shoulder than Nirpal has on his. She spends her whole life name-dropping, bragging, playing one person off against the other and frankly, being insufferable.
She is a Pandora’s box of insecurities.
She is a Pandora’s box of insecurities.
The whole "Nirpal said I was Harvey Weinstein!" is a perfect expression of her narcissism. He said she was manipulative and controlling. He did not say she was a sex offender or compare her to Weinstein
Noticed that LJ’s bio on Tattle has been updated to include the Andrew G Doe complaint and the offensiveness of the first chapter of The Tortoise?
I read it through and thanks to @Nordic who posts here, I had no idea there are various stories abounding( in her mind?) about how she got back in touch with David. One is a random meeting wherein he really doesn’t remember her, tells her she was never his type and has a girlfriend and another where somehow she’s in touch with his mother??? She discovers he’s in hostel on his uppers! Then she rescues him! It’s effing shifting sand it really is?
I read it through and thanks to @Nordic who posts here, I had no idea there are various stories abounding( in her mind?) about how she got back in touch with David. One is a random meeting wherein he really doesn’t remember her, tells her she was never his type and has a girlfriend and another where somehow she’s in touch with his mother??? She discovers he’s in hostel on his uppers! Then she rescues him! It’s effing shifting sand it really is?
She claims she has written a screenplay about how they met. Wonder which account (or a completely new one?) it would have used if true
Is that the same screenplay that she talked about in her Diary from August 2016 where she held important meetings with a "movie star" and "producer and then the next day went to The Ivy with "casting director Sue" which evolved into a passive aggressive slanging match between LJ and David over the state of his flat?
That's the one!
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Jones (aka: The Podcast). Cut for length
We open with an arse-kissing letter from a fan, "Ian". We know it is fake because he praises Liz's singing. Of course she has to subject us to another audial assault after that. Nic accurately calls it torture. Liz once ran away from Paul McCartney because she "hadn't had an extreme wax." Nic says "he wanted to say hello to you, not rip your knickers off." Oh, Nic, how could you forget that Liz is CATNIP TO MEN??? Liz wanted to unblock David so she could link him to a documentary on Disney+ about Paul McCartney. She says, "when you're in a relationship with someone it's natural to want to share things with them." I guess it is, when you can actually decide whether or not you ARE in a relationship this week.
We move onto the Liz vs Nirpal in the Mail this week. Nic yells "LET'S TALK ORGASMS!" I would rather be force-fed my own intestines than discuss orgasms with either of these women. Liz whines about "chippy" men and essentially regurgitates the entire article. Liz whines "why is everyone horrible to meeeee" because she allegedly had a lot of mean comments about the dress she was wearing in the picture that comes with the article. As usual Nic complains about evil online bullies. Liz decided to "practice self-care" by not reading Nirpal's section of the article but then spent the next day begging Nic to tell her what it said. They both blame Nirpal for not leaving earlier if he wasn't happy. Liz praises comments left on the article by sexist men about how they don't care about giving women orgasms and don't even like talking to women.
Liz complains more about Nirpal. She repeats her assertion that he wouldn't have a writing career without her. Nic thinks that men "have to be really into Tantric or something" (WTF) to be good at pleasing a woman in bed. But she at least understands that intimacy is about more than just sex, while Liz basically sees it as a chore that she has to get out the way. Being the dinosaur she is, she believes women shouldn't earn more than men. She talks about resenting David for having no income after he retired and not liking it when Nirpal or past boyfriends spent her money. She claims: "I NEVER buy food because I'm terrified I'll run out of money." There's more "omg why does everyone hate meeeee." She criticises her brother, who is sadly no longer here to defend himself, for opening "a £52 bottle of champagne from the mini-bar" at Liz's wedding and adding to the huge bill - even though she herself chose to pay for everything.
This week we get Liz at "the most unfiltered she'd ever been!" Mercy. Liz made a long list of beauty treatments to have before her date with the Scouse Photographer. This is the same woman that was just saying she can't afford food! She went for an "extreme wax" and was embarrassed that the beautician asked her if she wanted "the lips waxed." She shoots Nic down when Nic suggests Liz could simply brush her hair and put on a bit of makeup before a date. Liz looked in Vogue to see what to wear for her date, and was hit by the sight of a model with "a full Maria Schneider bush." Did she pick up a copy of Playboy by mistake? Liz cancelled her appointment for Botox as it makes men "chippy" if she has nice things. Anyway, surprise! It's just an excuse to whine about how men are useless. She gets in a mention of her "£85 eyelash serum" and the "Osama Bin Laden lookalike."
Nic simpers about how she would love Liz and Nigel to get together. It's not really up to you, is it, dear? Archive column is about when Liz interviewed Helen Mirren in LA. She gets in more jabs at Nirpal as he was "finding himself in another woman's vagina" at the time and didn't seem concerned when Liz called him to say she'd been caught up in an earthquake over there. We finish with Nic and Liz cackling at anecdotes of bad dates sent in by readers, including someone who claimed she slept with a new boyfriend only for him to complain that she had "ruined his personal relationship with Jesus."[/QUOTE]
We move onto the Liz vs Nirpal in the Mail this week. Nic yells "LET'S TALK ORGASMS!" I would rather be force-fed my own intestines than discuss orgasms with either of these women. Liz whines about "chippy" men and essentially regurgitates the entire article. Liz whines "why is everyone horrible to meeeee" because she allegedly had a lot of mean comments about the dress she was wearing in the picture that comes with the article. As usual Nic complains about evil online bullies. Liz decided to "practice self-care" by not reading Nirpal's section of the article but then spent the next day begging Nic to tell her what it said. They both blame Nirpal for not leaving earlier if he wasn't happy. Liz praises comments left on the article by sexist men about how they don't care about giving women orgasms and don't even like talking to women.
Liz complains more about Nirpal. She repeats her assertion that he wouldn't have a writing career without her. Nic thinks that men "have to be really into Tantric or something" (WTF) to be good at pleasing a woman in bed. But she at least understands that intimacy is about more than just sex, while Liz basically sees it as a chore that she has to get out the way. Being the dinosaur she is, she believes women shouldn't earn more than men. She talks about resenting David for having no income after he retired and not liking it when Nirpal or past boyfriends spent her money. She claims: "I NEVER buy food because I'm terrified I'll run out of money." There's more "omg why does everyone hate meeeee." She criticises her brother, who is sadly no longer here to defend himself, for opening "a £52 bottle of champagne from the mini-bar" at Liz's wedding and adding to the huge bill - even though she herself chose to pay for everything.
This week we get Liz at "the most unfiltered she'd ever been!" Mercy. Liz made a long list of beauty treatments to have before her date with the Scouse Photographer. This is the same woman that was just saying she can't afford food! She went for an "extreme wax" and was embarrassed that the beautician asked her if she wanted "the lips waxed." She shoots Nic down when Nic suggests Liz could simply brush her hair and put on a bit of makeup before a date. Liz looked in Vogue to see what to wear for her date, and was hit by the sight of a model with "a full Maria Schneider bush." Did she pick up a copy of Playboy by mistake? Liz cancelled her appointment for Botox as it makes men "chippy" if she has nice things. Anyway, surprise! It's just an excuse to whine about how men are useless. She gets in a mention of her "£85 eyelash serum" and the "Osama Bin Laden lookalike."
Nic simpers about how she would love Liz and Nigel to get together. It's not really up to you, is it, dear? Archive column is about when Liz interviewed Helen Mirren in LA. She gets in more jabs at Nirpal as he was "finding himself in another woman's vagina" at the time and didn't seem concerned when Liz called him to say she'd been caught up in an earthquake over there. We finish with Nic and Liz cackling at anecdotes of bad dates sent in by readers, including someone who claimed she slept with a new boyfriend only for him to complain that she had "ruined his personal relationship with Jesus."[/QUOTE]
[/QUOTE]
For a second I thought Nic was referring to love struck NIGEL from the Diary comments every week
Then the penny dropped. I’d forgotten about Nigel the photographer in Australia.
THAT Nigel has made it blatantly bloody obvious he’s not in the slightest bit interested in La Liz.
I would love Liz to go on a date with Dorset Nigel though. That would be gold.
The beautician may have meant her top lip.. I’ve often thought she had the suggestion of a tash?
Sounds if possible, a worse podcast than usual, Thankyou Witchofwestbyfleet for your continued endurance!
Thanks for the podcast recap @witchofwestbyfleet I noped out of the orgasm piece though..errggh yuck. there is not enough brain bleach in the world to remove that stain from my mind.
Could only find the dreary in the online You mag, so of course no comments, which are the best thing about the whole column. What the heck is she going on about though? Who is this man that she doesn't know? What was all the rambling about the house she had to sell because she didn't pay her taxes and was made bankrupt? Notably she shoehorned the FRS into it again, with a new name now, he's just the famous boyfriend, assume J Kerr's lawyers are keeping an eye on it and the David bashing was, as always, appalling..oh and her new baby hair is growing in jet black, yeah you keep telling yourself that, the entire piece was a car crash and I honestly have no idea what the actual point (apart from the usual bragging about things that no one really cares about) of it was. She just sounded deranged, or possibly drunk, as usual.
Could only find the dreary in the online You mag, so of course no comments, which are the best thing about the whole column. What the heck is she going on about though? Who is this man that she doesn't know? What was all the rambling about the house she had to sell because she didn't pay her taxes and was made bankrupt? Notably she shoehorned the FRS into it again, with a new name now, he's just the famous boyfriend, assume J Kerr's lawyers are keeping an eye on it and the David bashing was, as always, appalling..oh and her new baby hair is growing in jet black, yeah you keep telling yourself that, the entire piece was a car crash and I honestly have no idea what the actual point (apart from the usual bragging about things that no one really cares about) of it was. She just sounded deranged, or possibly drunk, as usual.
The latest man is ostensibly a photographer from Liverpool whom she graciously allowed to take her out as long as he chooses a vegan lunch spot, and it doesn't have too many stairs where she'll be shaky on her Louboutins etc.
I guess a patch of hair could be growing in the same colour as it was when she was younger (which was dark brown, not jet black) - not everyone is completely grey even in their 60s. But then why did it fall out in the first place? That's how harsh the ol' Midnight Storm is ...
Her talk about "men like women that use Boots waxing strips cuz they don't feel intimidated by them" is so telling. Who says a woman that uses Boots waxing strips isn't wealthy (partly because she doesn't waste her money like Liz does) or highly intelligent, has a successful career, etc?
yeah maybe if Liz used Boots waxing strips she may still have had her "mini mansion" with staff cottage and staff...I thought the staff was Nic though so she does still have her.
Ah right, I had no idea about the new potential photographer date, must have drifted off when reading that...
Ah right, I had no idea about the new potential photographer date, must have drifted off when reading that...
Lots of recycled quotes today (again) - like ‘what is it with women and floorboards?’ Apparently uttered by DS. Wtf does that even mean? Why am I even trying to make sense of this dreck??
I think this photographer has been mentioned before.. she didn’t like his crocs and thought he might be on the short side? Tail end of last year?She also forgot that the baldness was noticed by her hairdresser months ago but Liz shouted her out at the time and ‘reduced her tip?’ It’s a meandering stream of consciousness indeed…
Anyone think the column has been moderated by someone else of late..? Maybe after the Andrew G Doe challenge, all negative comments are getting through?
Anyone think the column has been moderated by someone else of late..? Maybe after the Andrew G Doe challenge, all negative comments are getting through?
I couldn't find the MoS version just the You mag one, which of course doesn't have a comments section, but she may well have had a talking to and I've definitely noticed more comments than previous diaries, a lot of which are negative, so she's not getting to hide behind moderators anymore.
That comment really defines her psyche and her opinion of herself and of other women. It shows her malignant narcissism and her sense of grandiose entitlement too.
Does she actually think that we don’t have careers, interests or meaning in the world because we use a boots product?
If I stick on some Nivea chapstick will my brain turn to mush..and if I wash my hair with Head and Shoulders will my ‘giant child’ eventually stick me in a nursing home?
I’ve got news for her, the Sisley moisturiser and the Hourglass primer are not working..! What’s more, they never have.
Liz’s ardent swain, Nige from Dorset is in the comments as he is every week, without fail.
Is this someone who genuinely holds a torch for our Elizabeth, or just trolling her? I can’t say 100% either way!
Is this someone who genuinely holds a torch for our Elizabeth, or just trolling her? I can’t say 100% either way!
- Status