Lisa - My_solo_journey_to_mom #2

[Shaunafauna]

Ahh here! Wasn't she harping on into the phone last week telling us we all have to be so careful, babies can pick things up so easily, that she doesn't know how the girls caught RSV because they go no where. In the last week, Lisa, you've been in contact with your hairdresser, nail tech, lash tech; the latter being just after one of your babies came out of hospital because they were struggling to breathe.
My son is 10 months old and if he was just out of hospital there is no way in hell I'd be off galavanting. I'm all for self care, especially after having a human exit you, but there's a time and a place for it Lisa.

 

[Cantstopreading]

As a solo wanna be mother going down the route she did would there have been any background checks counselling etc.....suppose those fertility clinics are businesses they probably don't care. I know a family member of mine who had elective weight loss surgery had to go through counselling see dietitians etc before it was even considered. It's mad.

And don't get me wrong there are single parents in every walk of life. And couples parenting together. And we all struggle and have tough days but the kids are your world. You wouldn't be legging it to get your hair and lashes done and leaving little twins with other family members.....after coming out of hospital. Its not normal.....its actually crazy. If i was in her situation the longest she would be out of my sight was while I took a shower!!

I do think the postnatal care in Ireland is shocking and has a lot to answer for. And I know the system is stretched but its crazy. She needs to be having extra visits IMO. How could a PHN call to her and be happy to leave. When I had my son they were just concerned abt the baby.....asked was I doing ok. Given a flyer on spotting the signs of PND and that was it. Never mind having to talk the PHN into checking my stitches which turn out were badly infected

It's just a crazy situation and the fact that she is putting it all on line. My son is 3.....I'm still tried. She needs to get over that. She has so little compassion she doesn't even give a tit about how tired her parents probably are she's just concerned about herself. Babies wake at night because they want to be fed and held and made feel secure in this huge world they are in. Its heartbreaking to watch

 

[submarinedream]

God I’m shocked at Lisa. A lash tech has to get extremely close to do your lashes - isn’t she afraid of bringing more bugs into the house. Babies can catch more that rsv esp since they are prem and already sick. It’s a lot of pressure on the mum to be watching 2 babies just out of hospital. I wouldn’t be comfortable taking responsibility for those babies

 

[Park1]

It’s so sad isn’t it . I followed Lisa since before she was pregnant, she was over the moon when she became pregnant. It was a genuinely lovely account to follow. The Lisa that is there now, is just so different. As a Mom who had PND, I get how hard it is . I wonder has the responsibility of having two babies completely overwhelmed her? However I do think she is completely spoiled and this is another reason, she is finding it so hard to cope.

 

[hollem]

I had to have surgery in the year when my son was 5 months old and I remember feeling so guilty thinking oh god what happens if bring Covid back and that was honestly one of my biggest worries despite it being a very much needed surgery and here’s this one getting nails, hair, lashes and brows done?

As my mam would say about people like her, can you imagine what she’d be like if she was good looking

Thread name suggestion
Lisa mind the girls and give granny a rest
And while you’re at it bin that black vest

 

[Hello there smile smile]

Ahh here! Wasn't she harping on into the phone last week telling us we all have to be so careful, babies can pick things up so easily, that she doesn't know how the girls caught RSV because they go no where. In the last week, Lisa, you've been in contact with your hairdresser, nail tech, lash tech; the latter being just after one of your babies came out of hospital because they were struggling to breathe.
My son is 10 months old and if he was just out of hospital there is no way in hell I'd be off galavanting. I'm all for self care, especially after having a human exit you, but there's a time and a place for it Lisa.

But it's ok if she throws in a few your gut is always right or trust your instincts bullshit about going to the hospital but ignore the possible reasons why they need to go in the first place with her beauty regimes

 

[Havingagawk]

Lads what is she going to do when they start sleep regressions and teething, standing up in the cot, transitioning from 3 naps to 2, 2 to 1?!
Apart from them being sick now, they’re the easiest they’ll ever be. Wait until they’re crawling and both demanding your attention or worse again not quite able to move about yet but want to be entertained.
I’m not denying twins must be tough work, but all babies are. And most of us are home alone during the day. We don’t have the help of other family members living in the same household.

I know people won’t agree with this but I’ll say it out. She is the reason I don’t agree with *most* people going and getting IVF as single parents. There should be some sort of vetting at every stage.
Let me explain, I think personally IVF has become very popular as a social media topic. You see numerous people documenting IVF IUI procedures on their pages, and they have genuine fertility challengesZ
I think people like Lisa have seen the attention and following it generates and Decide they’d like that too, no thought for what happens when you actually have the baby/babies. I can’t help but feel those little babies have been brought into this world for the wrong reasons.

 

[hollem]

She’s determined to go out over the Christmas that’s for sure.

She’ll be still puzzled later on about how the girls got RSV, maybe she should ask the opinion of her hairdresser, lash technician or beautician about how it could have possibly gotten into her house? Maybe she could even think about it next time she’s out in the pub or in the shopping centre

 

[Vancey]

Lads what is she going to do when they start sleep regressions and teething, standing up in the cot, transitioning from 3 naps to 2, 2 to 1?!
Apart from them being sick now, they’re the easiest they’ll ever be. Wait until they’re crawling and both demanding your attention or worse again not quite able to move about yet but want to be entertained.
I’m not denying twins must be tough work, but all babies are. And most of us are home alone during the day. We don’t have the help of other family members living in the same household.

I know people won’t agree with this but I’ll say it out. She is the reason I don’t agree with *most* people going and getting IVF as single parents. There should be some sort of vetting at every stage.
Let me explain, I think personally IVF has become very popular as a social media topic. You see numerous people documenting IVF IUI procedures on their pages, and they have genuine fertility challengesZ
I think people like Lisa have seen the attention and following it generates and Decide they’d like that too, no thought for what happens when you actually have the baby/babies. I can’t help but feel those little babies have been brought into this world for the wrong reasons.

She might actually have to engage and stimulate then when they are on their feet. I can't see her bothering with painting and reading stories to them

 

[Truth time]

All suspiciously quiet today she s either out shopping / asleep with Mammy minding the girls

Lads what is she going to do when they start sleep regressions and teething, standing up in the cot, transitioning from 3 naps to 2, 2 to 1?!
Apart from them being sick now, they’re the easiest they’ll ever be. Wait until they’re crawling and both demanding your attention or worse again not quite able to move about yet but want to be entertained.
I’m not denying twins must be tough work, but all babies are. And most of us are home alone during the day. We don’t have the help of other family members living in the same household.

I know people won’t agree with this but I’ll say it out. She is the reason I don’t agree with *most* people going and getting IVF as single parents. There should be some sort of vetting at every stage.
Let me explain, I think personally IVF has become very popular as a social media topic. You see numerous people documenting IVF IUI procedures on their pages, and they have genuine fertility challengesZ
I think people like Lisa have seen the attention and following it generates and Decide they’d like that too, no thought for what happens when you actually have the baby/babies. I can’t help but feel those little babies have been brought into this world for the wrong reasons.

I’m going down this route as a solo parent next year … I use the same clinic as she used and the vetting was a 5 min phone call with a counselor. It’s something I’ve thought long and hard about and not getting any younger.

 

[Shaunafauna]

I had to have surgery in the year when my son was 5 months old and I remember feeling so guilty thinking oh god what happens if bring Covid back and that was honestly one of my biggest worries despite it being a very much needed surgery and here’s this one getting nails, hair, lashes and brows done?

Same as you Hollem! I had to have surgery a few months ago when my son was 7 months and was petrified about bringing Covid home with me.
Certainly wasn't doing anything non-essential when he was still a newborn.

 

[shesnotalltherexoxo]

All suspiciously quiet today she s either out shopping / asleep with Mammy minding the girls


I’m going down this route as a solo parent next year … I use the same clinic as she used and the vetting was a 5 min phone call with a counselor. It’s something I’ve thought long and hard about and not getting any younger.

5 mins! I'd love to know how much counselling you can get in that amount of time or how anyone could decide you'll be a fit parent. I do think there's alot of people who do it for the wrong reasons <on instagram> but in real life I know people who have taken the same journey and make wonderful solo parents. I would say to consider counselling before hand and have a good relationship with a counsellor outside your clinic would be a positive thing because becoming a Mam is the hardest and most rewarding thing I ever done. I've cried in despair and joy at the same time and I've panicked and obsessed over things. A strong support system for your emotional wellbeing is very important. Especially if you've wanted this for a long time.

I found through pregnancy I had this idealistic view of what having a baby would be like. Reality was so different. So much harder and so much better in lots of different ways.

 

[Havingagawk]

All suspiciously quiet today she s either out shopping / asleep with Mammy minding the girls


I’m going down this route as a solo parent next year … I use the same clinic as she used and the vetting was a 5 min phone call with a counselor. It’s something I’ve thought long and hard about and not getting any younger.

And that’s fair enough, I presume you’re not plastering your journey all over Insta. What I’m saying is, I think Lisa didn’t actually take in to account the reality of having two babies. Partially not her fault because nothing actually prepares you for your own child. But I just don’t believe that she was a strong candidate to have a child/children. Her behaviour is incomprehensible.

 

[hollem]

She’s only 31 I think and we know she’s had IVF/several IUIs and obviously these are all expensive procedures and must have required some amount of saving which makes you wonder why a woman in her (presumably) mid to late 20s had decided she wouldn’t meet someone the old fashioned way, have a relationship and then children.. don’t know how you could make that call at that age, if she was a decade older I could understand but not at her age now

 

[Park1]

I’d say her parents helped her out financially. She comes across spoilt.

 

[BekkaBoo]

All suspiciously quiet today she s either out shopping / asleep with Mammy minding the girls


I’m going down this route as a solo parent next year … I use the same clinic as she used and the vetting was a 5 min phone call with a counselor. It’s something I’ve thought long and hard about and not getting any younger.

I'm doing it too, I'm 40. I'm NOT with SIMS and my counselling session was an hour long. I found the counsellor very good. I'd thought about this long and hard and thought I'd covered everything but she brought up some really valid points that I hadn't considered and some different perspectives. I think everyone going for IVF should have counselling, regardless of personal circumstances, because it is an absolute minefield in every way.

Personally I think her clinic have a lot to answer for. Lisa was young and had no known fertility issues so the chances of the embryos implanting was high. She's just lucky she didn't end up with triplets or quads! There was no need for two embryos to be implanted at this early stage in her journey.

My clinic won't do IVF on anyone with a BMI over 35, which I don't agree with, but I do think that her weight should also have been factored in and another reason why only 1 embryo should have been used. I think because she's on the gram they wanted her to be successful to make them look good but in my mind, and based on my own experiences with my clinic, I think SIMS were actually reckless in implanting 2 embryos.

ETA: I think if she wanted 2 and they only wanted to implant 1 they could have gotten her to sign a waiver but based on her stories at the time I don't recall there being any talk of pushback from the clinic, they all seemed like great pals. Open to correction on this though.

 

[Justme1985]

I actually asked my clinic to transfer my two embryos together, but they refused as there was a high chance they'd both be successful and it would be a high risk pregnancy. So I'm surprised her clinic allowed the transfer of two embryos giving the fact she has no reason to suggest they wouldn't work, and also her weight combined with a high risk twin pregnancy

 

[Truth time]

5 mins! I'd love to know how much counselling you can get in that amount of time or how anyone could decide you'll be a fit parent. I do think there's alot of people who do it for the wrong reasons <on instagram> but in real life I know people who have taken the same journey and make wonderful solo parents. I would say to consider counselling before hand and have a good relationship with a counsellor outside your clinic would be a positive thing because becoming a Mam is the hardest and most rewarding thing I ever done. I've cried in despair and joy at the same time and I've panicked and obsessed over things. A strong support system for your emotional wellbeing is very important. Especially if you've wanted this for a long time.

I found through pregnancy I had this idealistic view of what having a baby would be like. Reality was so different. So much harder and so much better in lots of different ways.

Yea it was supposed to be 45 minutes she asked 3 questions around how I would tell family and friends and the child I’d used a donor and that was it. I have had mental health issues in the past which they are aware of but even at that it was 5 minutes. Thankfully I have a brilliant counselor outside of the clinic and has helped so much

 

[Truth time]

I'm doing it too, I'm 40. I'm NOT with SIMS and my counselling session was an hour long. I found the counsellor very good. I'd thought about this long and hard and thought I'd covered everything but she brought up some really valid points that I hadn't considered and some different perspectives. I think everyone going for IVF should have counselling, regardless of personal circumstances, because it is an absolute minefield in every way.

Personally I think her clinic have a lot to answer for. Lisa was young and had no known fertility issues so the chances of the embryos implanting was high. She's just lucky she didn't end up with triplets or quads! There was no need for two embryos to be implanted at this early stage in her journey.

My clinic won't do IVF on anyone with a BMI over 35, which I don't agree with, but I do think that her weight should also have been factored in and another reason why only 1 embryo should have been used. I think because she's on the gram they wanted her to be successful to make them look good but in my mind, and based on my own experiences with my clinic, I think SIMS were actually reckless in implanting 2 embryos.

ETA: I think if she wanted 2 and they only wanted to implant 1 they could have gotten her to sign a waiver but based on her stories at the time I don't recall there being any talk of pushback from the clinic, they all seemed like great pals. Open to correction on this though.

Wishing you all the best on your journey

Very quiet today…. Really hope the babies are ok! Or maybe she’s been on here reading and she s been given a much needed dose of reality

 

[BekkaBoo]

Wishing you all the best on your journey

Very quiet today…. Really hope the babies are ok! Or maybe she’s been on here reading and she s been given a much needed dose of reality

Thanks, and you too!