Lily Pebbles #15 Beg for a walnut to fix your floor, shame it can't fix your jealous core.

[Kitkatkut]

So, I’ve listened to about half the podcast on my way to work, so I will report back when I’ve heard the rest on my way home. So far there have been a few moments that made me roll my eyes. Of course, the pooing in front of each other has been discussed again. Mark said he wouldn’t do it in front on Anna, and Rich said he wouldn’t wank in front of Lily. I think this is probably the “wild” bit.

Lily thinks she’s really good at cycling – because she can keep her balance on a bike. Yes. Glad to hear that I was a cycling genius aged 5.

Lily hates having a bowl in the sink for washing up. She says it’s not a London thing. Yes, she really says that. Interestingly it seems like it wasn’t just me rolling my eyes here. When she said “LONNNNNdon thing” Mark said “Oh, not this again” and Anna said “we wouldn’t get it”, but Lily didn’t seem to notice they were taking the piss out of her obnoxiousness and just went on how much she hates a bowl in the sink and how much hate she’s going to get for saying it.
I think there was another thing that was really obnoxious, but I can’t remember now. Maybe I’ll listen back later. I’m a glutton for punishment.

 

[Kraken]

I still think it’s funny how she went on and on about writing a book for ages then when it came out, she promoted it for like 3 days and then she ran from it. I’m almost tempted to buy it and read it for a laugh but I’m not putting money into her pocket.

you can get a free sample on the kindle app, there are plenty of laughs in the first 20 pages, like how we all learned about feminism at the age of 9 from the effing spice girls:

 

[ejhanson]

do they plan this because it looks ridiculous?!

 

[Jxtina]

Yeah I don't think holidays without parents at 15 are a thing in the UK? Certainly wasn't the norm amongst my friends or classmates and I'm around the same age as Lily.

 

[quince]

Of course Lily's response to Anna and Mark not pooing in front of one another was 'Come back to us when you have kids' She seriously needs to stop using her kid as an excuse for everything! This has nothing to do with having a kid, I know many couples with children who don't do it and I can say for sure that I won't be doing it in front of my partner, ever. I'd understand if it happened because it had to for whatever reason but it sounds like it's a regular thing for them.

 

[Valentina31]

My husband went away for a week in August. He came back to his own office, we have a four bed house detached house, my office is downstairs after a few months of sharing an office it made sense to give my husband his own room. He can work more efficiently, shut the door and not have added stress of moving his multiple screens. He wanted a “cool, industrial, whiskey bar vibes”

I guess some of us love our husbands a bit more

 

[Loopiloo]

She can sod right off with that patronising “sad face” for Rich having to dig out her nasty old used tampons. What the actual f**k. I would’ve made her call out a plumber and pay for it her damn self. And I cannot believe she’s used this as an opportunity for an ad. No shame whatsoever!!!

 

[Smithsmile]

I came on here to express my horror at her instastories!! What does she think sanitary bins are bathrooms are for? I have known this info since my first period...

 

[Cloak]

The thing is I just can’t see an occasion where it would be a necessity to poo in front of anyone? Are they locked into the room together? Or does she leave the door open? Door open and he’s on the landing or adjoining room is one thing (still don’t get it) but to be literally locked in the toilet together while one of you is shitting just seems unnecessary?

And I can’t see how having a child impacts that at all. If anything, one of you should be looking after the kid while the other is mid-shit so it makes even less sense? So confusing

 

[LA2019]

Massively disappointed in SpaceNK. How much nicer would it have been if they had asked people to nominate children of NHS or key workers to have a visit from Santa? So many (far less privilege children than Grey) will not have the chance of seeing Santa this year.

Lily didn't need to accept the visit. She could've asked for them to visit her local children's hospital ward and asked for goodie bags for the staff or SOMETHING, ANYTHING else (or even just politely said thanks but no thanks to the offer). I hope she at the very least invited other families on her road to enjoy Santa and makes a gesture by donating her goodie box to a local women's shelter.

 

[Jxtina]

Well every day's a school day - didn't realise writing your name first in a card was considered rude! Would never give it a second thought and clearly I know very rude people as just checked the Christmas cards received so far and every single one has the writer's name first my husband's name can go first when he decides that he'll write out the sodding things

 

[Shutterbug99]

Thread title courtesy of @TheBabeWithThePower

Recap:

-Seething with jealousy, Lily has gone into renovation and redecoration overdrive ever since her 'work wife' Anna bought a £1 million house. Renovation highlights include a diarrhoea wall, disaster storage solution, and a Shaun the Sheep chair.
- Pregnancy speculation abounds, since Lily herself can't stop talking about how she'll probably have another kid in 2021. However, Lily insists that her 'pregnancy face,' is actually a 'period face.'
- About that Shaun the Sheep chair. A nail in said chair ruined Lily's floor, because nobody told her about the nail, and now she is hoping for a #gifted walnut to fix things.
-Speaking of #gifted, Lily has been begging for thermals and booties for Grey, since she can't find any online. A few Tattlers did a quick Google search and found an abundance of thermals and booties on multiple websites. Hm.
- What else? Oh, still no sign of a desk for Rich. Will he get to keep his Peloton? Well, Anna just bought one, so maybe Lily will allow this - in order to Keep up with the Newton's.
- Lily was last seen sitting on her kitchen floor eating food straight out of a pan.

Carry on!

 

[Shutterbug99]

Coffee, two nights on the booze, and a date night. How's that nasty bout of cystitis working out for you, Lily?

 

[Bougieb]

Well I'm a very similar age to her and this was taught in schools, it was talked about on advertising for tampons I swear, like this was very very available information. She's just an idiot.

She also has 2 older sisters and a whole book about female friendship. But nobody told her

 

[jeijddn]

Well Lily herself is third generation immigrant, as far as I know both sides grandparents immigrated during or before WWII. This is typical Lily privileged logic: she is white, and living in England so she is English, remember not just British, but English. The other non-white friends could not possibly be even British in her mind, but Nigerian and Guyanese. However, don’t forget that since the publication of this book she has spent an entire day educating herself on race and even has a BLM highlight, so let’s all rest assured she would never make this mistake again, .

I don't criticise her for being proud of the country she was and raised in, but when I read that paragraph I couldn't help but to think the same! Would Lily say her own mum/dad are not English because their parents were not? So why say her friends are Nigerian and Guyanese when they were also born and raised in England? It's not something only Lily does, but it's a good reflection of how immigration is perceived when the said immigrant is white vs non white.

 

[Dora Doodles]

How does she actually get through the day, I wonder? I mean, she could have swallowed a spoon because nobody told her not to.

 

[shayshay]

Anna has questions up on instagram looking for feedback on her content - I replied telling her 'LESS LILY!!!!!!'

 

[Readinginks]

Someone mentioned how Lily hasn’t been tagged on IG for over a year. For some reason I checked the posts and found one where she talks about her #gifted experience with The Positive Birth Company. Based on that video it’s painfully obvious why her catch phrase is “no one told me”. Both Rich and Lily come across as totally clueless about birth and their options and it’s fair to say they didn’t do any reading on the topic. She would’ve been 7 months pregnant and you can tell she had been passively waiting for someone to tell her what her birthing options would be. I had two miscarriages this year, one medically difficult, and both times I knew exactly what to expect and what my options would be even before I got to the hospital, and this is with a much shorter timeframe to research symptoms and options than her 7 months of pregnancy. If I sound bitter over her pregnancy, it’s because I probably am. This will sound horrible but with all her complaining about Grey, I feel like she doesn’t deserve the privilege of being a mother.

 

[under the ivy]

I honestly think she can write a second book '100 things that no one told you'

Number 1. Nobody told me I could write a book about things nobody told me

 

[SJC636]

She’s sat at the desk today for her busy important admin day of...unsubscribing from emails