I tried playboard and it is blank. Don't know what is going on with that. If anyone wants to count super chats, have at it. I did my civic duty recapping all the crap that came out of her mouth. I know she got 1 super chat for $50 and another for $40 plus many smaller donations, so I would guess she made around $300 - $500 dollars.I don't know if there's a way to check those made during without having to watch the whole video again
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That’s an insane amount of money to give to a stranger who donor would never meet in person.
She never showed Andrew on video. He used to bring her coffee while she was playing Sims. Then she showed a video with him out on a walk with her and people were curious of course, views went up, and then it was like a switch went off in her head, to bring him into videos.
I don't think it's very nice for her to be bashing him and exposing personal things about him without his consent and without being able to defend himself. It's a ONE SIDED story coming from her and only her. We don't even know if what she says is true.
I feel bad for anyone out there who is "relating" to her. It's exploiting sensitive issues and vulnerable people for gain. She's manipulating when she says things like she needs clothes or her computer is not good. It's the power of suggestion.
When people get a little taste of having money it's like they get obsessed with getting it no matter the consequences to anyone. THAT to me is a real measure of values and morals.
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Thanks! i will pass that on to her! She does not take French but she will watch if they have translating captions.
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YES!!! This right here. We only have what she is telling us and people are eating it up. There is always more to a story. I'm not saying everything is a lie but attention can be a great motivator. Most of her old green witch makes shampoo videos barely hit 10k views. The "my man done left me" videos have 20k or more views for the most part. Plus she already has the vlogs set up in a three act playlist. She knows what she is doing and she is making it easy for people to consume the content.
She plays the victim. Everything happens to her, everyone treats her bad. She doesn't have anything. She whines and cries and has tantrums like a toddler. She has more than most people who are giving her views.
It's shameful when the economy is so bad and she thinks for some reason that ONLY SHE matters and has troubles. Everyone has struggles. There are people out there with nothing and she is complaining
I thought you were kidding but the top 3 latest updated playlists are:
1. Starting over
2. Rebuilding my life (going home)
3. Starting over alone (act 3)
I can’t with her anymore
New video is up…
She’s lost over 70 pounds in the past year or two so.
Wants to get arms, stomach, breast, thighs, and butt’s skin removed first in that order.
Says having loose skin is better than being fat (kind of problematic to say?!?).
Doesn’t know when she’ll get the surgery done because she’s alone and it’s easier to have someone to help you post-surgery.
She finished setting up journaling desk with a salt lamp and box of crystals and incense. Lots of random tit on desk. Living room has remained untouched.
She finished setting up herb cabinet withquartz crystal and baby’s ashes. Will have to divide up the ashes for Andrew. Has to unpack essential oils.
After that, its cuts to the next day. Will finish recap later.
She’s lost over 70 pounds in the past year or two so.
Wants to get arms, stomach, breast, thighs, and butt’s skin removed first in that order.
Says having loose skin is better than being fat (kind of problematic to say?!?).
Doesn’t know when she’ll get the surgery done because she’s alone and it’s easier to have someone to help you post-surgery.
She finished setting up journaling desk with a salt lamp and box of crystals and incense. Lots of random tit on desk. Living room has remained untouched.
She finished setting up herb cabinet withquartz crystal and baby’s ashes. Will have to divide up the ashes for Andrew. Has to unpack essential oils.
After that, its cuts to the next day. Will finish recap later.
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I figured it out why I stopped liking her. It's her face, it's not genuine. She says one thing, but the emotion in her expressions isn't there, which is why it sometimes comes across as fakey. Sure, she's able to cry and I'm not saying she's faking it all, but there's some disconection between what she says and her facial expressions sometimes. There's one point where she says that Andrew told her it was all his fault and not hers, and you can see a little dupers delight smile in her. Whenever she recounts these emotional things, her eyes show no emotion and she just looks straight to the camera.
Edit: if you actually watch her videos and not just hear what she's saying as background noise, I think you can see it. This latest one I was properly watching it and not just doing stuff as I heard her and that's when it came to me.
Edit: if you actually watch her videos and not just hear what she's saying as background noise, I think you can see it. This latest one I was properly watching it and not just doing stuff as I heard her and that's when it came to me.
So about 4:30 min into the video, it's the next day. She stopped filming as she got an email from Andrew (assuming the one referred to livestream) and had to stop filming for vlog.
She explains she posted on Insta that she was going out with a friend looking real cute. The "new" guy wants to date her - they went out for dinner and he's a really nice guy.
She realized she's not ready for dating. Thought she was but actually she wanted to be ready to date. Explains that she's sad, alone. Hard with BPD to be alone. Wanted to jump back into something.
She says honestly that she would have been impulsive and slept with new guy if there was chemistry.
Realized she's not ready for any romantic relationship.
They did mushrooms and stayed out late.
She heard from Andrew. She doesn't care if people critique her about the mushrooms as she thinks it's a strong natural medicine to help her when she's having a bad time. Thought it was beneficial to her. Was able to let go of her anger towards Andrew at least for now.
She sent Andrew an email post-mushroom. Had lots of things to say. Didn't think that he would read or reply to it. She wanted to tell him everything she felt - she knows it's a mistake.
Now dealing with repercussions from mushroom. He said the most beautiful things to her on the email, how he felt about her and their relationship, about what he has done. She thought if this convo had been done in person, she wouldn't have been able to resist it and taken him back. There was a moment of weakness.
Goes back and forth. She won't take him back but she knows she goes through those ups and downs thinking it could be fixed but then realizing it can't be.
Andrew regrets everything. The stress and anxiety of hiding from her was killing him and that he should have told her years before. He wanted to start over in Arkansas and bury it. She says he can't run and escape from it. He regrets every decision. He's sorry and loves her but doesn't expect her to forgive him.
He had wanted to come back to AR and have a life with her. He realized he couldn't live with himself still lying to her. The guilt and anxiety from hiding from her and keeping secrets devasted his soul.
He still making impulsive decisions. He's so proud of her, filling him with shame. He feels that she is doing everything and that he has ruined them. He's sorry. He love her. He misses her. He's sorry that he was making her out to be the bad one and that it was him all along.
She says that it was really nice to hear that from Andrew but painful. She says that if he knows and realizes all this, how could he still do that. She doesn't know how to make sense of it but she can't.
She responded back once. She knows she shouldn't do it. She has such hard time resisting, she loves him so much. She's trying to love and respect herself more.
In email, she's sorry for everything, how things ended up. They could have worked things out if he had come to her when it had first started and tried. But he just ran away and that she cannot trust that anymore and again. She'll never stop loving him and wanting him. Doesn't think anyone could ever compare to him ever in her eyes. She knows it's fucked up.
When she went out with other guy but she realized what she valued from Andrew as a partner in terms of the strong connection intellectually, spiritually, philosophically. They connected on every single level. That's why it hurts so bad to be betrayed by him and for him to leave with their strong connection. She can't talk to anyone in the way she does with him and the values they share.
Feels hopeless of finding anybody ever again. Needs to prepare not to find anyone like Andrew at least not seriously again.
Loneliness, hopelessness, sadness makes her do stupid things. She's trying not to hurt herself. Trying to get her tit together. Shouldn't go on dates. It's ridiculous as she needs to heal first.
On date, all she did is talk about Andrew. She's still processing, she's not perfect, and she's going to try not to contact Andrew anymore.
There's no closure from this, doesn't matter anymore; has to move on from it.
Her friend is coming over the next day to get septum pierced. She called the piercing place. Made an appt. Lady on phone said that they have to check anatomy of septum so needs a backup piercing. Doesn't want any other type of piercing - maybe eyebrow perhaps...
She then goes to do livestream from yesterday. Has to do laundry and has to leave apartment. They got pizza on date - only ate toppings and had drinks. Guy plays guitar and sings well. She's a sucker for musicians. Loves a musician. But it wasn't enough for her. She needs time.
What if she meets someone who could be good for her but she couldn't be in a relationship due to BPD. Doesn't want to rush into a relationship. Had rushed into relationship with Andrew prior. They basically lived together from the first day on. Has to heal from Andrew and take it really slow. She doesn't want the same thing to occur again.
So lonely but hard to be yourself when used to being with a partner for so long. Hopes viewers aren't disappointing from her. She knows she's going to duck up a lot. She's made some progress but still is impulsive and does stupid things. She tries to recognize it.
Her friend is going to film her septum being filmed. She just finished the livestream. Thanks viewers for comments and donations.
UPDATE: the prior email mentioned above is not the email from the livestream. this is a new email she received from Andrew. She doesn't know how to feel about it. She kept on streaming. She read the email and messaged him back - knows she shouldn't have.
The email says that he loves her... the same stuff. He hates being without her, it's hopeless, they can't get their life back. He thinks they can start over but she doesn't think she can do that. Because she feels like he's avoiding, not putting her first, he's willing to do therapy and the hard work.
He's not willing to call her so she's not going to be second place for somebody all this time. She feels like she was never number one to him. He felt she never put him first but in all honesty, he put himself first.
She still loves and wants him but she's trying to protect herself. It's hard and difficult. She has to stop speaking to him but it's so easy to say it but in this situation, she hurts so much and loves Andrew so much, you just want all this not to be true. Very hard not to talk to him. We'll see how things go. She just has to stop contact.
Now, she's going to work on apartment, listen to music, etc... Going to keep this shorter.
- She's going to do laundry. Something about Tide detergent that Andrew picked out. Smells like how Andrew smelled when he came back the first time. She hates it cause it reminds her of the first breakup. Smell is tied to memory. Needs to buy new detergent.
- She is unpacking boxes of herbalism stuff. Hopes she has enough room. Essential oils, etc... Wants to make herbal products again (shampoo and dishwashing liquid). Trying to get through day to day.
- Needs to make soap. Jojoba oil leaked. The towels are best value and see-through. Needs to buy better ones. Tries not to use paper towels but useful for things. Has plans to make moisturizer, lotion, face wash
- Trying to make it through the day. Mentions how livestream asked her what else she needs for apartment. Needs a clock. Local stores didn't have anything she liked. She won't buy anything mediocre. Would rather buy on Etsy or markets.
- She is feeding Bella and Mortimer. Most expensive food she can afford. Half a can a day and then dry kibble for the rest.
- She's taking dogs out. Bella is pooping. Wants to take them elsewhere to walk too.
Sorry but I won't bother to summarize PO unboxing back in CO.
She did a LOT of editing in that video where she was crying .Her eyes were wet but not her face until there was a lot of jump cuts and then her face would be wet. So I don't think you are far off with your doubts. Everything is very disconnected and odd.
I don't doubt she has a personality disorder, and I'm no doctor, but she shows a lot of traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. She is very ME oriented, she's very much about image, blaming others, playing victim, getting people on her side, manipulation, attention seeking, materialistic, instant gratification, impulsiveness etc.
I think people will get sick of the inconsistencies and start to figure out they are being used for her gain.
Some people on that Cindy reddit sub are insane. I'm nearly convinced that they are automated bots because they clearly randomly came across Cindy's reddit sub and have never watched her.
I think we are the gossip site mentioned but what is the snark page? Are they talking about the farms? Apparently our little page has pissed some people off and was posted to a Cindy snark page?
Looks like we ruffled some feathers. Clearly they can't read or they are making stuff up. I wrote exactly what Cindy said. I didn't embellish or add thoughts. I wrote 95% of it verbatim, straight from her mouth, but I'm "taking it out of context" what she said. I did write that the tattoo was for her 40th birthday but they probably didn't want to read that far down and that doesn't wash away the fact that tattoos are frivolous and freaking expensive. If you are "shakily" able to pay your bills, why the hell would you spend 100's on a tattoo. I also love that they parrot Cindy's "I'm not taking a vacation or anything" line. Is this a Cindy sock account?
Stay mad baby.
Looks like we ruffled some feathers. Clearly they can't read or they are making stuff up. I wrote exactly what Cindy said. I didn't embellish or add thoughts. I wrote 95% of it verbatim, straight from her mouth, but I'm "taking it out of context" what she said. I did write that the tattoo was for her 40th birthday but they probably didn't want to read that far down and that doesn't wash away the fact that tattoos are frivolous and freaking expensive. If you are "shakily" able to pay your bills, why the hell would you spend 100's on a tattoo. I also love that they parrot Cindy's "I'm not taking a vacation or anything" line. Is this a Cindy sock account?
Stay mad baby.
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Lol. It is weird how people can go hard defending someone they only know from videos. I don't know where they have been but Cindy has been a hot topic on that "secret" anonymous Sims gossip site for a long time. Here we don't even get anywhere close to the level of petty meanness that that site can do.
Oh my god, I forgot about that place. I'm afraid to look and see what they are talking about now.
They’re hilarious in the defense of her. Whenever I commented on the sub, I would turn on the captions on YouTube and use that to provide info literally word for word.I think we are the gossip site mentioned but what is the snark page? Are they talking about the farms? Apparently our little page has pissed some people off and was posted to a Cindy snark page?
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Looks like we ruffled some feathers. Clearly they can't read or they are making stuff up. I wrote exactly what Cindy said. I didn't embellish or add thoughts. I wrote 95% of it verbatim, straight from her mouth, but I'm "taking it out of context" what she said. I did write that the tattoo was for her 40th birthday but they probably didn't want to read that far down and that doesn't wash away the fact that tattoos are frivolous and freaking expensive. If you are "shakily" able to pay your bills, why the hell would you spend 100's on a tattoo. I also love that they parrot Cindy's "I'm not taking a vacation or anything" line. Is this a Cindy sock account?
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Stay mad baby.
They would still argue with you, saying you were taking stuff out of context.
That long ass post from that redditor, she literally says “this is where I think it’s extremely important that people watch for themselves.”They would still argue with you, saying you were taking stuff out of context.
That’s what we’re doing too honey. I’m here typing out nearly every word she said in today’s vlog (had no plans tonight yikes haha) like I’ll respect their opinion but pot meet kettle.
Thank you for putting your brain cells on the line for us. I haven't had the time to watch yet but looking at the recap, maybe I'll skip it. It looks like the same stuff, different day.That long ass post from that redditor, she literally says “this is where I think it’s extremely important that people watch for themselves.”
That’s what we’re doing too honey. I’m here typing out nearly every word she said in today’s vlog (had no plans tonight yikes haha) like I’ll respect their opinion but pot meet kettle.
Haha no problem.
In general, aside from the Andrew stuff that’s just the usual, but I think what annoyed me the most is mentioning money all the time.
Like the paper towels are too cheap so she needs to buy new ones, the laundry detergent smells like Andrew so she needs buy a new one, she needs to buy a clock to see the time, her dogs get the most expensive food she can afford etc…