Right guys I have wrote the blog myself for this month…… my disclaimer… it probably sounds more funny in my head……
My Heineken has gone warm, I’m wondering why I
Got out of bed at all
The electric curtains stuck in my window
And I can’t see at all
And even if I could it’d all be gray
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it’s not so bad, it’s not so bad
[Chorus: Dido]
My Heineken has gone warm, I’m wondering why I
Got out of bed at all
The electric curtains stuck in my window
And I can’t see at all
And even if I could it’d all be gray
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it’s not so bad, it’s not so bad
[Verse 1: Eminem]
Dear Kyle, I wrote you, but you still ain’t callin’
I left my cell, my insta and my Snapchat at the bottom
I sent two legal letters back in autumn, you must not’ve got ’em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin’
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot ’em
But anyways, fuck it, what’s been up, man? How’s your wife Annie?
Your wife’s pregnant too, You ’bout to be a father
I have a daughter, guess what I’ma call her?
I’ma name her Kylie
I read about your Uncle Pete Griffin too, I’m sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn’t want him
I know you probably hear this every day, but I’m your biggest fan
I even got the underground shit that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures, man
I like the shit you did with City too, that shit was 4!!!!
Anyways, I hope you get this, man, hit me back
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Lauryn
[Chorus: Dido]
My Heineken has gone warm, I’m wondering why I
Got out of bed at all
The electric curtains stuck in my window
And I can’t see at all
And even if I could it’d all be gray
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it’s not so bad, it’s not so bad
[Verse 2: Eminem]
Dear Kyle, you still ain’t called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain’t mad, I just think it’s fucked up you don’t answer fans Kashpoint and Klarna
If you didn’t want to talk to me outside your ground , you didn’t have to
But you coulda signed an autograph for Kairo
That’s my ickle man, he’s only 4 years old
We waited in the blisterin’ cold
For you, for four hours, and you just said no
That’s pretty shitty, man, you’re like his fuckin’ idol
He wants to be just like you, man, he likes you more than I do but not really….
I ain’t that mad, though I just don’t like bein’ lied to
Remember when we met in China?
You said if I’d write you, you would write back
See, I’m just like you in a way: I never knew my father neither
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you’re sayin’ in your songs
So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put ’em on
‘Cause I don’t really got shit else
So that shit helps when I’m depressed
I even got a necklace with your name KW
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It’s like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See, everything you say is real, and I respect you ‘cause you tell it
My friends are jealous ’cause I talk about you 24/7
But they don’t know you like I know you, Slim, no one does
They don’t know what it was like for people like us growin’ up
You gotta call me, man, I’ll be the biggest fan you’ll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Lauryn—P.S. We should be together too
[Chorus: Dido]
My Heineken has gone warm, I’m wondering why I
Got out of bed at all
The electric curtains stuck in my window
And I can’t see at all
And even if I could it’d all be gray
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it’s not so bad, it’s not so bad
[Verse 3: Eminem]
Dear Mr. I’m-Too-Good-to-Call-or-Write-My-Fans
This’ll be the last blog I will ever mention your ass
It’s been six months, and still no word—I don’t deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the addresses on ’em perfect
So this is my Snapchat I’m sendin’ you, I hope you hear it
I’m in the car right now, I’m doin’ 90 on the road to Cheshire
Hey, Kyle, I drank a herbal tea, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Guns n Roses, “You could be mine”
That could be us and our strawberries
But not now, Rachel Monk saw it all, then at a game, Sian found her
That’s kinda how this is: you coulda rescued me from drownin’
Now it’s too late, I’m on a thousand burners now—I’m drowsy
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off the wall
I loved you, Kyle, we coulda been together—think about it!
You ruined it now, I hope you can’t sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can’t sleep and you scream about it
I hope your conscience eats at you and you can’t breathe without me
See, Kyle—shut up, bitch! I’m tryin’ to talk
Hey, Kyle, that’s my Bit Pete screamin’ in the trunk
But I didn’t slit her throat, I just tied her up—see? I ain’t like you
‘Cause if she loses weight, she’ll suffer more dim won’t call…….
Well, gotta go, I’m almost at the bridge now
Oh, shit, I forgot—how am I supposed to send this shit out?!
[Chorus: Dido]
My Heineken has gone warm, I’m wondering why I
Got out of bed at all
The electric curtains stuck in my window
And I can’t see at all
And even if I could it’d all be gray
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it’s not so bad, it’s not so bad
[Verse 4: Eminem]
Dear Lauryn, I meant to write you sooner, but I just been busy
Yes my wife was pregnant but our son has been born
Look, I’m really fucked off you would call your daughter that
And here’s an autograph for your Kairo; I wrote it on a Sian’s cap
I’m sorry I didn’t see you at the show, I must’ve denied you access
I think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But what’s this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that shit just clownin’, dawg, come on, how fucked up is you?
You got some issues, Lauryn, I think you need some counselin’
To help your ass from bouncin’ off the walls when you get down some
And what’s this shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit’ll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your mother need each other
Or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
Before you hurt yourself, I think that you’ll be doin’ just fine
If you relax a little, I’m glad I inspire you, but Lauryn
Why are you so mad? Try to understand that I dont want you as a fan
I just want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some girl spent a week dissing me on her blog
And had his wife, kids and family, in the mix too
And in the car they found a tape, and a Snapchat message but they didn’t say who it was to
Come to think about it, her name was—it was you
Damn…
‘this is pan’
J
….. It’s also NONE of her business whether Annie stays with Kyle or not, absolutely NONE so STFU. As for the reason Kairo cried after his Daddy last week for the first time ever, who thinks he was plonked in front of Sky Sports 1 at 4pm last Sunday at the time?…..
