"Yea, i like dead people 
"
To my best mate about a spiritual evening lol
" To my best mate about a spiritual evening lol
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Assistance required
To my boyfriend upstairs because thereās a massive spider on the door
To my boyfriend upstairs because thereās a massive spider on the door
Youāre not gonna believe who Iāve just been chatting to in Asda!
Yeah I had to wipe it up with about 5 towels naked
(Itās not what it sounds like)
(Itās not what it sounds like)
I'm not going yet I've just got out the bath.-to my mum about going to B&M. 
Now I want to know
"Call me when you can please"
Yes, we are looking forward to it. See you tomorrow afternoon.
To a client I'm definitely not looking forward to seeing tomorrow afternoon
To a client I'm definitely not looking forward to seeing tomorrow afternoon
āWhat you up to today? Iām not well and neither is ___ , heās very dramatic , Iām not getting the sympathy I deserveā
At 8pm!
ādonāt full stop meā - my bloody bf
"I don't know. It depends how I feel later"
Me: Can you get some Always
Husband: Is it in the cleaning stuff aisle
Me: Sanitary items
Husband: Oh yeah lol
Husband: Is it in the cleaning stuff aisle
Me: Sanitary items
Husband: Oh yeah lol
āTell someone who caresā 
"I'm such a mug you're gonna hate me"
"Yeah I know you're right! She's just a judgmental sad woman who cheats on her husband at any given moment. Sick of her I wish she would just duck off out of everyone's lives. I've never ever regretted a friendship before but I really do regret ever being a friend to her.'
- And that folks is how my Tuesday is going
- And that folks is how my Tuesday is going
"Are you going to ***'s on Saturday? I don't wanna go but I don't wanna be the only family member not to show"
The bastards found a house
āYeah cos I say eeeeee at everything he copies everything I say. Whenever thereās something he doesnāt like he goes eeeeeee in a scouse accentā
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