Katie Price #268 Is Skanky moddlin' fake Gucci kegs with sink boy & his little Max Wall legs?

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So just got in, my missus is watching some shit on the tele, ONLY Program Skanky would be perfect for, are you scared of the dark , I’d leave the fucking thing in there
 
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I was amused to read this extract from a Dorothy Parker story. If you substitute KFP for Edith, it makes perfect sense:
 
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In the name of all things holy.
Make this make sense.Or at least make the last sentence make sense.
Did dead Paul not drink?Did Skank couldn’t be bothered to come to the funeral ?Was Peter offhand in spite of dead Paul being health conscious?
Say it’s fine.
 
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Pity it’s not Cinderella. She’d make a great ugly sister
Seeing as she's another one who talks as if she's got a pillow in her mouth, they'll need bloody subtitles! I wonder if this will actually happen, I'm thinking not.
 
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When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea.

Eric Cantona Binfest
 
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Eh? Could somebody translate...
 
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