Katie Price #25 and Carl the lackey, love a matching tacky tracky

[Mercedes]

I officially became a pensioner today so to mark the occasion I'm gonna put on my national health syrup and copy Krusty's beautifully precisioned brows with my sharpie in readiness for my WhatsApp call with my kids they are in for a shock

Happy Birthday sending you a big hug x

 

[SewerGrapes]

Hippy Burpday @Pom Bear. I hope you have a wonderful day!! With love to you xx

Oops, just ignore me, I'm puddled! What I meant was 'Happ

Is she selling views for her next wedding? Ohhhhh yes she is.......ohhhhhhh no she isn't

Ooer - just ignore me, my brain's been addled by all the KP crap! What I meant to say was 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY @Monsieur Crumble ' I hope you have an enjoyable day!' With love xx

 

[plinky]

Katie Price #26 Eats like a pig, wears an unconvincing wig, flogging £30 zoom gigs

Katie Price #26 Eats like a pig, wears an unconvincing wig, flogging £30 zoom gigs

As I know this won’t fit, maybe:

She got Cole love drunk off her facial lumps

to the tune of Black Eyed Peas


Whatcha gonna do with all that junk
All that junk inside your face
I'ma get get get get you drunk
Get you love drunk off my lumps
My lumps my lumps my lumps my lumps my lumps
my lumps my lumps my lumps my lumps my lovely facial lumps

Check it out
I drive these fans crazy
I do it on the daily
They treat me really nicely
They buy me all these ice
Dolce and Gabbana
Fendi and Madonna
Caring they be sharin'
All their money got me wearing fly
Whether I ain't askin'
They say they love mah ass in
velour tracksuits
A True religion
I say no
But they keep givin'
So I keep on takin'
And no I ain't takin'
We can keep on datin'
Now keep on demonstratin'
My love my love my love my love
You love my facial lumps
My lumps my lumps my
My lumps they got you
She's got me spending
Oh, spending all your money on…

 

[geordiegirl]

So probs right to think that the divorce was maybe cos of Kierans new baby and they want to get married (Kieran and Michelle)?

 

[Lucid30]

Ooh I can’t see that... where is it posted? Happy birthday by the way

In the independent, no less

 

[Pink Squirrel]

"Goin' to the chapel and we're gonna get married
Goin' to the chapel and we're gonna get married
Gee, I really love you and we're gonna get married
Goin' to the chapel of love"

Pwicey: "No we're not 'Clearblue Cole', were going to Sheesh, it's free and Prep Kitchen are chucking in the canapes".

Clearblue: "What are canapes innit?"

Pwicey: "Who the duck knows but they're free. Woo Hoo!"

Pwicey then goes off to get ready for the ceremony which is being conducted by Dick Emery the vicar as all 3 of them have Turkey Teef.

White adapted tracksuit is laid out in the bridal suite, well the bogs at Sheesh. No bottoms so Skanky can air her Flaps if she gets nervous.

Fern and the hairdresser turn up.

Fern: "What look do you want you fucker? I was thinking the bleeping demure Christopher Biggins as Widow bleeping Twanky in panto?"

"Is it free?"

"Yep"

"That'll do"

Hairdresser: "Which wig do you want?"

"The cleanest".

"Bollocks where's the Shake and Vac and Fabreeze?"

Meanwhile the 'bridesmaids' are gathering. Using the term loosely as Pwicey has no female friends so up trips Wee Jimmy Krankie and Madge from Benidorm.

Clearblue is getting jittery with his ushers, Alan Partridge, Richard Madeley and Bernie Clifton and his Ostrich Oswald.

Sid is supposed to be ring bearer but has swollowed the rings in protest at this debarkle, Madley and Partridge are trying to fish them out of his arse with sticks.

In the cordoned off area where the ceremony is being held Amy is being wheeled in in her iron lung.

Clearblue looks resplendent in his matching white tracksuit and Alan and Richard have sucessfully retrieved the rings from Sids arse. Still covered in tit but he doesn't think Pwicey will notice.

Bridal Chorus strikes up and here comes Pwicey in a pink mobility scooter. As she's heading down the aisle she shreaks "Oh duck, I forgot to invite my kids, never mind, 5 less people to feed".

To be continued - the ceremony and reception...

I wanna go to that wedding

 

[DC16]

Old picture. Not tagged any clothes line for once!!

 

[nomorefakers]

Ooh I loves a lace trackie I do <said with about as much sincerity as she takes her vows...>.

Both of them dressed in track suits and wearing running shoes at the wedding. And of course all seats and furniture must be crushed velvet. Dress code for all guests is track suits. The wedding dinner is pizza and everything at the wedding was of course begged for....

 

[Jersey Girl]

Old picture. Not tagged any clothes line for once!!

Oh, she has remembered Jett now! Must read this thread as we've said many times how little interest she shows in him. Hi Katie

 

[AimlessShameless]

Poor Jett can't look her in the face or at the camera.

 

[Sazbee]

"Goin' to the chapel and we're gonna get married
Goin' to the chapel and we're gonna get married
Gee, I really love you and we're gonna get married
Goin' to the chapel of love"

Pwicey: "No we're not 'Clearblue Cole', were going to Sheesh, it's free and Prep Kitchen are chucking in the canapes".

Clearblue: "What are canapes innit?"

Pwicey: "Who the duck knows but they're free. Woo Hoo!"

Pwicey then goes off to get ready for the ceremony which is being conducted by Dick Emery the vicar as all 3 of them have Turkey Teef.

White adapted tracksuit is laid out in the bridal suite, well the bogs at Sheesh. No bottoms so Skanky can air her Flaps if she gets nervous.

Fern and the hairdresser turn up.

Fern: "What look do you want you fucker? I was thinking the bleeping demure Christopher Biggins as Widow bleeping Twanky in panto?"

"Is it free?"

"Yep"

"That'll do"

Hairdresser: "Which wig do you want?"

"The cleanest".

"Bollocks where's the Shake and Vac and Fabreeze?"

Meanwhile the 'bridesmaids' are gathering. Using the term loosely as Pwicey has no female friends so up trips Wee Jimmy Krankie and Madge from Benidorm.

Clearblue is getting jittery with his ushers, Alan Partridge, Richard Madeley and Bernie Clifton and his Ostrich Oswald.

Sid is supposed to be ring bearer but has swollowed the rings in protest at this debarkle, Madley and Partridge are trying to fish them out of his arse with sticks.

In the cordoned off area where the ceremony is being held Amy is being wheeled in in her iron lung.

Clearblue looks resplendent in his matching white tracksuit and Alan and Richard have sucessfully retrieved the rings from Sids arse. Still covered in tit but he doesn't think Pwicey will notice.

Bridal Chorus strikes up and here comes Pwicey in a pink mobility scooter. As she's heading down the aisle she shreaks "Oh duck, I forgot to invite my kids, never mind, 5 less people to feed".

To be continued - the ceremony and reception...

Amazing You have captured the essence of pointy chin so well in just one sentence.

 

[265]

NEW THREAD.

Katie Price #26 Eats like a pig, wears an unconvincing wig, flogging £30 zoom gigs

Welcome to #26 - Thanks to Plinky for the thread suggestion. Previous Thread - https://tattle.life/threads/katie-price-25-and-carl-the-lackey-love-a-matching-tacky-tracky.16680/page-50 A couple of bullshit stories to kick off the thread...

tattle.life

 

[Jersey Girl]

# Thread suggestion . Track a Troll we hear her shout, but she's the worst Troll that's about