But she’s not helping herself, that’s the point! She’s making a choice to spend her free moments on Instagram moaning about how little time she has. Isn’t it obvious where the problem is here?!!! Get off Instagram!!!! If she put her phone away for a day or two she would be surprised how much time she actually has and what she could be doing!
Kate Lawler
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I think a mother should be supported as best much as possible and it would appear she doesn't have her family around to help not to mention the whole nightmare of doing this in a pandemic.
In places like France part of the post-natal care is someone coming round and doing the laundry and shopping. Post-natal care in this country is notoriously dreadful but that's a story for another time.
But like a lot of other people I get the feeling that she went into this half heartedly and without wanting to have her life inconvenienced much. The sensible thing right now would to hire someone to do the housework, dog walking, shopping etc and devote the time to Noa and getting her settled. If a baby is fed, changed and comfortable you can let her fuss while you jump in the shower for 10-15 minutes, the baby will not die or be traumatised. And just a personal thing - I couldn't imagine my child waking up and someone else tending to her when I was in the next room asleep. That's kind of what you sign up to when you decide to have kids. But I understand everyone feels differently.
In places like France part of the post-natal care is someone coming round and doing the laundry and shopping. Post-natal care in this country is notoriously dreadful but that's a story for another time.
But like a lot of other people I get the feeling that she went into this half heartedly and without wanting to have her life inconvenienced much. The sensible thing right now would to hire someone to do the housework, dog walking, shopping etc and devote the time to Noa and getting her settled. If a baby is fed, changed and comfortable you can let her fuss while you jump in the shower for 10-15 minutes, the baby will not die or be traumatised. And just a personal thing - I couldn't imagine my child waking up and someone else tending to her when I was in the next room asleep. That's kind of what you sign up to when you decide to have kids. But I understand everyone feels differently.
I have zero issue with hiring help, throw money at a situation if it means your house is cleaned for you etc- but the way she posts it implies her and Boj both need the support. Genuine question, baby is stuck to her breast 18hrs a day as a newborn why can’t her husband open the bloody newborn gifts?
Yes, i absolutely think she wasn’t really sure and just panicked and thought duck, better try! I would say in an ideal world your mum/sister would be there ( we don’t know the commitments they have) to help, so if you can afford help and are happy to hand over your newborn do it. I just get the feeling she really didn’t want children, not saying she doesn’t love Noa, but she must be thinking wtf have I done! Martin wanted children and she admittedly was only recently he had said he was happy to be with her and if that meant no kids so be it. im way down the line, done all the ages and honestly, for me the first year was the easiestThe newborn stage really is the easiest but you don’t realise that til it’s passed. I think she’s a bit ‘damned if you do, damned if you don’t’. We always tell women to reach out and accept the help and when a new mum does, she gets slaughtered. If I could have afforded it, I wouldhave had a night nurse. A forcep delivery, 5day stay in hospital and a baby who cried from 9pm-2am meant we were shattered (and emotional messes!). However, I do think that you get to a certain age and if you haven’t had kids by then it’s probably best you don’t (obviously some people may try for years but she was on the fence and only decided when she was told she had a low egg count).
I’m traumatised from school/teenage years 
There’s 2 fully able bodied adults in this situation, yes 1 of them is still “working” in some capacity but he is at home, he’s not having to go out at 7am for a 12 hour day at work. Between the 2 of them they really should be able to coordinate washing a few dishes, chucking a wash on and running a Hoover around the house without too much effort! Shopping can be delivered or at least click & collected, dog can be walked etc - they don’t need to pay a 3rd person to do things for them, they need to get the hell of their phones and crack on with it!
That's the bit I don't get. I completely understand the struggle and remember well how hard life was with a new born. It is for most people. The difference is we just accept it as normal and get on with it as best we can. Its one thing I can't abide with these Instamums - you would think Kate is the first woman ever to experience this or that its something completely shocking to her. Everyone knows at this stage that being a new parent is a slog for the first few weeks.
They do have a cleaner and have done for a long time ( cant remember where I heard her say it but she did,) not taking anything away from her and I do think she’s massively struggling, the reality must be shocking when you’ve had such a lovely lifestyle for 40 yrs, it’s not like having a dog at all. my dog was my baby, she was very needy and my newborn very easy, but still the baby was 100% harder than the dog. Kate wasnt interested in babies/children, I genuinely think she had no idea, even with the podcast/sisters friends etc, she just didn’t have a clue and Boj seemed to think they would be handing the baby over to his mum and they’d be off holidaying! He also said 20yrs then you’re free...u mmm NO!!!! You are never free of worry again, ever. Your children are your babies forever, my friend told me you then become a grandparent and you love/worry about them even more!
I've inboxed her and politely told her.Boj in a hoody/jumper in his latest pic and noa in a vest
Why can’t they see that’s not appropriate
My personal opinion is what you've just said. They are in an incredibly privileged position and there are many resources at their fingertips. But not everyone is the same. They may be so priviliged that they have zero resilience and do not know how to cope with difficult/tricky situations. They clearly were not mentally or emotionally prepared for a child. But the baby is here now and they need to do what feels right for them.
I’ll never be a person that posts private things on social media so that I do fine confusing. But all this talk about just getting on with it makes me uncomfortable. It’s the same as any kind of depression (if she is suffering) you simply can’t just get on with things. The human brain can be a total witch
My comments are nothing to do with wether she has or hasn’t got PND.
Im just saying that if she’s got the time to constantly be on her phone, active on social media and filming Insta stories then she actually has got the time on her hands to be doing other things. She just needs to prioritise better and choose to do things that don’t involve her phone/social media. She must waste hours a day just scrolling/commenting & uploading!
I wasn’t actually aiming that at any one poster. Maybe I’m putting myself in her shoes too much I don’t know.
She had a fear of child birth, I wonder if that is part of it too. She put all her energy during pregnancy into over coming or dealing with that phobia, that she failed to prepare herself for life with a newborn. Its not all about the prams and tiny outfits you actually are keeping a human alive and of course the overwhelming emotions that being a parent brings. Being a "mummy" to dogs/pets doesn't stir up the same physiological or emotional responses and that could be distressing. I'm sure we can all remember the feelings when we had our first, its like wow, whats happening.
I wouldn't have got a doula but I would definitely get a cleaner! Only trouble is I'd have to clean before they came which would kind of defeat the object
I had my first in my early twenties and that was enough of a culture shock so I’d imagine having your first baby in your forties must be a massive culture shock and life change. She’s been doing whatever she wants, when she wants for 40 years and now has a demanding baby. It’s a huge change
My brother in law was 42 when his first was born. It was like watching a car crash in slow motion.
She didn't have a phobia of giving birth, she was just too scared to give it a go. As for saying 'a c section sounds like an operation'... well yes Kate. That's because it IS an operation and it's what you chose to have. They both come across as lazy, entitled, priviledge and unprepared. And as for that diabolical show, the clips look bloody awful and they look so bloody uncomfortable sat there selling their life off. Total sellouts.
Don't hold back haha! This is why I love tattle
I cringed when she said that. It's major abdominal surgery and it limits what you can do for the first few weeks of your baby's life. That comment alone made me realise she was in no way prepared to be a parent. C sections are not easy alternatives to vaginal birth and I think it's obvious she thought it was. She was completely clueless and doing that show has done her no favours at all. I want to be supportive but she definitely makes it difficult.
The anti c section brigade always say “it’s major abdominal surgery”, like a mantra, like it’s too horrific to contemplate and should be avoided at all costs.
Guess what? Labour and vaginal birth is horrifically painful, often traumatic and - potentially - irreversibly damaging to your pelvic floor and tina.
Having experienced a birth injury, I can confidently say that recovering from a c section was a piece of cake compared with recovering from a birth injury, and I would have done it ten times over rather than experience a single contraction ever again (not that I did - I have two kids
).
I don’t want this thread to turn into Mumsnet yet again, like the barbed remarks about Kate stopping breastfeeding the other day, but it’s pretty crappy to say she didn’t have a justifiable fear of natural childbirth and needed to “give it a go”.
Guess what? Labour and vaginal birth is horrifically painful, often traumatic and - potentially - irreversibly damaging to your pelvic floor and tina.
Having experienced a birth injury, I can confidently say that recovering from a c section was a piece of cake compared with recovering from a birth injury, and I would have done it ten times over rather than experience a single contraction ever again (not that I did - I have two kids
).I don’t want this thread to turn into Mumsnet yet again, like the barbed remarks about Kate stopping breastfeeding the other day, but it’s pretty crappy to say she didn’t have a justifiable fear of natural childbirth and needed to “give it a go”.
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