Jane Gammons #50 Berty the van and Polly the potty, flat is a dump and she’s still grotty

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She’s on and still talking about her birthday , saying she can’t believe she’s made it after the past year she’s had
What on earth … she’s talking like she’s been diagnosed with a life changing illness WTF ” can’t believe she’s made it“ she should count her fucking blessing there’s plenty much worse off than she is… she really is a narcissist bitch.
 
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She seems so excited for her birthday and I can’t understand why , she won’t be doing anything nice or anything that would be nice treat , and let’s be honest the gifts are always really wank
Funny how she was making out the thought of a takeaway made her feel sick like she’s some sort of health freak she truly has lost the plot
 
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I bet the potty will be used for when she's in a food coma and glued to netflixxxxsss and can't be arsed getting off the sofa to go to the toylitt.
If it used in the camper then of course, it will be the beanbags job to empty it. I hope she has bought the correct chemical type liquids for it.
The scene from The League of Gentlemen springs to mind....when the Denton's nephew moves in and Harvey Denton explains they have a downstairs loo and says "into which we don't pass solids." Shame I can't find a clip but soon as I saw the shitter, that line came to mind

I just had to comment on her nails....a soak off where I go is £10 and I will be honest and say I remove them myself at home so I do agree with her saving money for that. A tenners a tenner
 
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To be fair eating what she puts away and sitting in her filthy flat seven days out of seven it is a wonder she's made it to another birthday
 
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So excited yet she forgets it's her birthday? Ok then luv....
Take aways make her feel sick....yes I guess they do after the 434th one of the month
 
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Will the bean do her a picnic table filled with things that a 7 year old would take the piss out of... the bean's 30th was ridiculous
 
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Will the bean do her a picnic table filled with things that a 7 year old would take the piss out of... the bean's 30th was ridiculous
If there aren't party loot bags handed out to the pair of them at the end of the party they'll be well pissed off
 
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Only Charlie the Simpleton took her on…
And I feel even that was by accident

Didn’t he text the wrong girl from the night out and he doesn’t strike me as the type to have the balls to admit it so was just happy someone would have him lol

Next she will be saying she forgot she’s married
 
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She's got a tickly throat from last Christmas she thinks it's her weight

She’s got Hallelujah blaring it’s going to be her century she said

Hasn’t stopped gaining since
 
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She shouldn’t be allowed a dog, it will be a five minute wonder like everything else in her life. Didn’t Charlie re-home his Mum’s elderly dog because he couldn’t have a dog in the flat, or was that the previous flat?

All for attention, I’m sure she’s on the Spectrum!
 
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Here’s Bean in all his glory! As my partner calls him ‘Big Fat Jane’s old ass looking husband’ lol. Poor Bean. She has ruined him birthday table is set up how lame

 
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We should be so lucky!
 
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Here’s Bean in all his glory! As my partner calls him ‘Big Fat Jane’s old ass looking husband’ lol. Poor Bean. She has ruined him birthday table is set up how lame

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Who the fuck decorates a flat for their birthday especially their 30th this pair are a couple of sad bastards and he would of been told what to buy and do by batalax Jane seriously guys get a life Jesus Christ
 
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They should be measured. This is what I can't understand, how can she be keeping correct batch records if she has chuff all idea what percentage she's putting in? As a lot of oils have different flash points, there's potentially one fat trotter servings difference between no throw & burning someone's house down...or a moderately smelling soap & thrush..
 
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Why is she taking pics of him decorating for the big 30 🫣 how cringe is that 🥹should it not be a surprise for the birthday girl
 
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Why is she taking pics of him decorating for the big 30 🫣 how cringe is that 🥹should it not be a surprise for the birthday girl
I bet she's sitting on her commode in front of Netflikz directing the decorating process. Such a shame Caroline Aherne passed away, her & Craig Cash could make a belter of a sit com out of this pair of morons. They always give me Mrs Merton & Malcolm vibes.
 
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