Jake Quickenden #98 Jake Chickenden

[fakeyflaps]

Fakey’s big break has finally arrived…..

Revealed: TV personality Jake Quickenden to star in Elf The Musical Colchester shows

The festive blockbuster is coming to Colchester’s Charter Hall on a 36-show run over the holiday season.

www.gazette-news.co.uk

 

[TrACE22]

What's on his fingers, look like sweets? Don't they ever do anything with that kid?

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Looks like raspberries to me, he seems to be an a mission this week to prove he is a good dad, except it don’t count when you need your own mother there to parent with you. Something really amiss this week, I hope she has walked for the sake of her own mental Heath. If she had disappeared for surgery, I think she would have shared it.

 

[ShowMeThe Money]

What a jerk. There is nothing remotely sexy about him. Trousers flapping at half mast, man titties sticking out

 

[DeniseRoyle]

Nothing says desperate for attention than walking around the corner shop in a stolen dressing gown from a free spa day

 

[PrincessJeanie]

So he takes Maris to his swimming lesson, all the other parents just step aside and let the instructor crack on but this knobhead doesn’t, he has a swim because he doesn’t wanna leave him? Fuck that! If that happened to us there’s no way I’d take my kid there for swimming lessons again. What a cockhead!

That last story. Again making out he’s dad of the year whilst slating the other parents that did go and leave their kids in their lessons like they were supposed to, by saying he stayed because he wasn’t happy leaving Leo by himself. What a twat

 

[ShowMeThe Money]

Hi, Guyyyyyyyssss.
I'm back after a cracking mother's day and hanging out of my arse yesterday, afternoon drinkings a fucking killer!!
See they are up to the usual stupid arse games, no flowers/card/present, etc.Bet they've agreed amongst themselves all that shite for maximum attention, as we all know Fakey just LOVES being talked about.
He's just bought her a five grand nose, for fucks sake ...
Does Zelda go on about East Ender's on her soap scoop??
If so, I've got a cracking question for her ...
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She only covers Emmerdale & Corrie. Think there's too many ethnic minorities in EE for her biased sensibilities to cope with.

 

[JazzFan]

LEAVE FRED THE FUCK ALONE!!!!!

He’s in his bed, no place is fucking off limits to film that child you absolute piece of shit Jake

 

[mollyann]

He really is the worst kind of parent.Everything is filmed like what he is doing is somehow special.As parents we do this shit day in and day out.He’s never alone with Leo and flaps although thick as shit and lazycares for Leo as a single parent.Who has his scary looking mother and Matt to clean his house and help with childcare as a 35 year old man.

 

[DeniseRoyle]

Its so bad, I can't stop watching
Imagine this happening on a date, hold on love, I'll get the febreze out

Flapps has her Valentine's nails

Was this production their actual Valentine's date?

 

[bluecups]

I am going to put something out there and I hope I am wrong as I would not wish it on anyone. Maybe Sophie was expecting, but isn't now...... Maybe that is why he was in a hospital corridor. Maybe that's why he was saying about things coming to an end.... Sophie may not be able to or feel up to looking after Leo so that's why Zelda is down.

Not everything points to that but wouldn't be that unlikely.

Like I said, I would hope that it is not the case.

That's a very good point and makes a lot of sense. But why would the partner of a woman who lost a baby sing "Mamma Mia" outside her hospital room? Then again, this is Fakey so anything is possible, he's one of the most insensitive people going.

 

[DeniseRoyle]

I hope he shares these self tapings, just for the comedy value

 

[CrazyBaldhead]

It's the loneliest, most friendless vote known to mankind.

It's very lonely indeed!

 

[JazzFan]

Are you really parenting your kid if you need your fucking mum and step dad there?

Guess I didn’t parent at all today as I posted none of it to the gram

 

[trine]

Fucking catfish!

 

[Turmeric123]

A huge congratulations to @Lico for our new thread title! You win a barely roasted chicken that is as dry as Squidward's tuna canoe!

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We started the previous thread with Sicknote turning up for the last two shows at Glasgow and Squidward still in America. Ratboy started playing on his "bad mental health" which was, as usual, utter bollocks as he did a dancing reel to a Beyoncé song. He looked a complete twat as per.

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Gail had his 3rd birthday although he thought he was 4yrs old and they celebrated a toddler's birthday by going to Miller & Carter of all places.

We had the misfortune of listening to Ratboy screeching again, this time sitting down in a corridor. Zelda and DoorMatt stayed there and he sounded pissed again in several stories first thing in the morning. The dead dad got dug up yet again for likes and sympathy as did many Father of the Year stories and reels.

Squidward is still missing and looking for her clarinet!

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A full recap can be found in Wiki 9/10.

Keep on grinding Fakeys!

Previous thread:

Jake Quickenden #97 Pervy Quickenden, the Scunthorpe Schofield.

A huge congratulations to @Philimena cunk for our new thread title. You win a new travel pillow as advertised by Flapz! Hoorah!! 😂 On the 10th February he posted a photo of himself on the floor and saying he felt ill. 🙄 We've seen yet more cooking from him leading us to speculate...

tattle.life

Thanks for the new thread Crazy and congrats to @Lico for a great thread title
I need to know who the person is who thinks he can sing
Please confirm if you are drunk or deaf

 

[Philimena cunk]

Anyone think the beard and short round have been wheeled out to stop all the backstage "rumours"....
Wedding rings back on, hmmmm...

 

[PrincessJeanie]

Insta is down. Do we reckon he’s had a meltdown yet

 

[CrazyBaldhead]

I'm absolutely pissing myself at this. It's quite possibly the funniest thing I've seen in ages!

OMG!!

Watch this but make sure you have an empty bladder!

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[Lico]

I remember a few years ago, before I was on Facebook. Myself and 2 friends were on holiday, having a nice time. Friend is photo mad. I'm not bothered. Other friend informed me that all our photos were posted on first friends Facebook. I had no idea. She hadn't asked my permission. I insisted she remove my photos. I am a private person, I don't post pictures of myself. I was ripping, and now I have to watch people taking photos, as I don't want to be posted. I believe in a few years, Leo will suddenly realise that his childhood was posted for all to see. He will probably start second guessing every interaction and day out with his parents, wondering whether it was a genuine family outing, or just for likes from strangers. I think he might really be affected by all this. Imagine your parents who are supposed to protect you, posting a photo of you in a vulnerable state, sitting on a potty. Shame on them.

 

[marsaud]

He really has a horrible way of speaking. His voice and mannerisms are incredibly grating. And he even admits he gets them round to help? Help with what? He only has one small child to look after. And that little boy is so disengaged it’s not as if he is a little live wire who needs constant stimulation. Can’t get my head how he lives his life at all.
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