Jake Quickenden #81 Fakey is a donkey that nobody admired, permanently injured and always oh so tired

[Turmeric123]

6

Imagine your publicist going to see you before your wife or any other family member has I bet no one from OL has gone though. Wonder who PP will suck off to make sure Fakey gets some good reviews I hate to think what her stories are going to be like later and we know he’ll be sharing them all

I'd say the rest of the cast had their spouse/family at the opening night not fakey. Flaps is holding out for the freebie nearby to save on diesel

PP will be ott about how amazing he is in his minor part and go on as if he's the lead character

I'm still laughing at his regular 60 second presenting jobs on ITV

 

[OnlyJustSaying]

Oh my god so I’ve heard some tea today well it’s not piping hot because this bleep is so predictable right. But a friend of a friend knows a girl called Emily who is a runner for LW (she’s worked on all sorts like GMB & HIGNFY) anyway behind the scenes yesterday he got absolutely ripped because he basically came in like some kind of bleeping A lister and parades down the halls like he is so well known and everyone should bow down!! It sounds like he is approaching or perhaps polly parrot is approaching asking to get Jake these gigs for his bleeping portfolio they don’t even approach him bleeping HELL IM SO EMBARRASSED FOR HIM

I ain’t surprised one little bit. Did he forget his ‘humble’ act? “I am so grateful” my ass! He is such a never was! He has finally lost the extra small brain cell he had.

 

[Redtea2]

Baffles me how polly goes on like he’s a huge ITV star on the same level as rylan and dermott
she clearly is as deluded as Jake is

 

[OnlyJustSaying]

I’ve never known any “Zelebrity” to do this! It shows a childish side as far as I’m concerned. Keep on validating your work Jake, you’ve nothing to look forward to after May 2024!

Well it’s a novelty, that’s why! He ain’t used it. Although he prolly sent them to himself.

 

[Cleopops]

I’ve just realised what he uses on his skin to get it that colour. It’s not Fake Tan, it’s not Creosote, it’s Marmite That’s the only explanation I can think of why him and Marmite have started following each other on ig. If he’s got an ad with them, it’s going to upset a lot of Marmite lovers

He better not be doing an AD for Marmite, I'll be really bleeping angry about that Hello Fresh, his stupid gummies, his glasses that dont fit his oversized head and his mosquito repellant I'm not bothered about, but bleeping Marmite? no bro.
Also I love that magazine interview that was posted where he says he will play that LGBTQ role naturally.....yeah we know, it's probably the bleeping role he auditioned for, and it's probably his favourite role of all bleeping time.
Hope everyones well, I'm having a pretty stressful time at work but this thread genuinely makes me howl everyday Love to you all for keeping me entertained

 

[OhFFS]

Just found this recent interview. Seriously who writes this crap and is he that bleeping deluded he really believes what he’s saying? As usual I’ve highlighted in red the bits that made me laugh the most

What an absolute bleep.

 

[Lurker111]

I can't believe he answered himself as being the buffest member. Surely most people would always use that as a chance to be modest and compliment a colleague. I've never seen the like of it

 

[Redtea2]

I can't believe he answered himself as being the buffest member. Surely most people would always use that as a chance to be modest and compliment a colleague. I've never seen the like of it

All about him that’s why his wife looks like she’s had the life sucked out of her . He’s a narcissistic prick
tit night nobody’s posted about it apart from the theatre
que polly posting a picture of him signing some old woman’s shirt

 

[JazzFan]

Course he does That’s why he chose to go on an adult only weekend, rather than spend the time with him before he went away ‘working’ for up to 8 months. Also chose to spend an extra night away this week just so he could be on the TV for 5 mins. Basically any opportunity he gets to be away from the family he takes it. Christ he even left him with Zelda than have to look after by himself but still carries on using him for content and saying what he thinks will please those Tena huns

Has he ever looked after spud for a full day and night on his own?

 

[ChloBo_81]

They all read here that Chris his manager can’t stand him but between him and Polly they get him no work so instead they have to feed his ego . It’s pathetic . It defo won’t be paying much two seconds on comps won’t bring much money in . Pathetic
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I think he tells people he’s a celeb . He definitely does ain’t no fucker ever ask for pictures with him ever

After he's paid Off Limits (though they get him no work, so duck knows why he's still with them!) and Polly their cut, he'll be left with less than £200. Factor the inexplicable hotel room, food and petrol/train fare and he's basically paying them to go on TV for two minutes!

twit.
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I had a feeling all along that was the case
polly is best friends with a girl who works for ITV
I think she gets jake the scraps nobody wants and because they know he’s last minute if they can’t find anybody else .
I don’t think they use him often so eventually he Won’t even get the scraps !!
pits so obvious she gets her friend to get him work because then polly makes money too
I love how the lose women ladies can’t stand him and cringe when he try’s have a laugh with them
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I mean the way he was holding that loose women card like he was presenting on the show or a star guest was ridiculous
hes so embarrassing
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Also off limits saying “ working with them “ because it’s Kate lawler actually leading the competition. Jakes doing the scraps nobody bleeping wants .
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God he’s aged
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Yup. Doesn't help that he's so gaunt either.

 

[PrincessJeanie]

Has he ever looked after spud for a full day and night on his own?

If he has I’m not aware of it. He once made out he did but that was when Zelda went silent on ig and somebody saw them strawberry picking in the Colchester area, if I remember rightly.
Imagine being a self proclaimed father of the year and you’ve never looked after your son for more than a few hours by yourself in over 2 and a half years

 

[ShowMeThe Money]

All set for Halloween, no need for an MUA this year...

 

[OnlyJustSaying]

Has he ever looked after spud for a full day and night on his own?

You know the answer. Despite Maris ‘’being his heart” he can’t even attempt to look after him on his own, overnight. A whole grown man! Shameeee.
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All set for Halloween, no need for an MUA this year...
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Fuckin hell! Karma in action right there. Totally collapsed face!

 

[MrsG03]

The picture of him with the hood up looks like he should be on the street outside M&S With a begging card and hat full of coins! bleeping hell he looks awful!

 

[JazzFan]

If he has I’m not aware of it. He once made out he did but that was when Zelda went silent on ig and somebody saw them strawberry picking in the Colchester area, if I remember rightly.
Imagine being a self proclaimed father of the year and you’ve never looked after your son for more than a few hours by yourself in over 2 and a half years

Imagine if instead of a bunch of garage flowers he told flappy he’d take both boys out for the day

 

[Philimena cunk]

Has he ever looked after spud for a full day and night on his own?

Last time Cunty did that, he was still swimming around in his ballsack...
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Wonder if Polly was lying on the floor taking photos of Colchester's answer to Kenneth branagh...

 

[CrazyBaldhead]

Might head to Southampton, wait at stage door, get an autograph, say I love him on TV, he's so brave, family seem lovely etc.

Then as I walk away, loudly fake a phone call to a bestie going "omg i cant believe i just met danny dyer!"

Gary Glitter!

 

[Turmeric123]

Such a lovely Couple

 

[VC10]

WTF is going on with the gnashers??

 

[Lurker111]

Oh Sophie what a mug. if my husband was taking pictures where another woman was looking at him in that way there would be trouble.
Although to be fair they look more relaxed with each other than he actually does with his wife. His wedding photos where so staged and awkward but this one with polly parrot seems more natural and at ease with one another.