Jake Quickenden #33 Jake’s sham marriage done- we all know he still wants it up the bum

[Yesweknowyouhavekids]

Thanks to CBS1 for the thread title with the most likes
To recap- the ‘England’ wedding took place and Jake ran off as fast as his disgusting Gucci loafers could carry him to sing at a tit hole camp site famous for people getting murdered.
Then we had the spectacle of the ‘Ibeefa’ sham marriage. Hardly any guests, reception at the villa and no expense spared the guests were allowed a glass of cheap bubbly and some meats and cheese left out in the hot sun for ages.
Jake carried off his look as the groom with a delightful broach a homosexual 80s pop star style earring and the god awful loafers. His bride cut an elegant shape in Madge Harvey from Benidorms wedding dress but at least the bolt ons were kept under wraps
We now await the wedding of his ex and Dophys obsession Danielle which oddly enough is also in Ibeefa

 

[Whogivesa]

In those close-up pics on the last page, bloody hell, she looks like she's high as a kite on Diazepam. I take them because I'm afraid of flying and this is exactly how I look after 2 Diazes and 4 quarter bottles of rosé - cheap night out!
Bet she had to get off her tree to go through with the whole charade. Imagine standing there, dressed like a bleeping Victorian corpse, sweating her fake tits and trowelled on make up off, knowing the only ride you'll be getting later, is in a crappy hired car for a tacky photoshoot. Marital bliss ya cocks!

 

[PrincessJeanie]

So I wonder what riveting content we are going to be treated to today I’ll put a bet on that it will be wedding related He’ll share his reels/posts again on his stories to try and get more engagement on them and behind the scenes he’ll be getting his brothers post/reel ready for tomorrow

 

[mollyann]

Jesus and we have the same picture put up this morning.He’s going to bore us all to death with the same content for weeks months years

 

[CBS1]

AHMAAGAAAAAAD I can't believe I got a thread title, first one ever! I am gonna go and put on my Gucci loafers, try and push my boulder tits in a bra and go and smash a load of coke whilst pretending I don't have children to celebrate

 

[gagzi]

Jesus and we have the same picture put up this morning.He’s going to bore us all to death with the same content for weeks months years

Wish there was a snooze emoji on here! We need new ones! Jeez he's so dull isn't he. Same photo now for the past few days!

 

[PrincessJeanie]

Jesus and we have the same picture put up this morning.He’s going to bore us all to death with the same content for weeks months years

Called it earlier. Anything he posts that gets loads of likes and comments on, he keeps putting it on his stories He’s so predictable and that’s why before the ‘wedding’ he was losing followers daily. His content is repetitive and any genuine new followers he’s gained will soon realise what he’s really like and click the unfollow button quick sharpish

 

[LittleMissOnions]

AHMAAGAAAAAAD I can't believe I got a thread title, first one ever! I am gonna go and put on my Gucci loafers, try and push my boulder tits in a bra and go and smash a load of coke whilst pretending I don't have children to celebrate

And when the fame starts to drop off just get those dead relative pics out and chuck a load of gummies down your throat

 

[CBS1]

And when the fame starts to drop off just get those dead relative pics out and chuck a load of gummies down your throat

Will do babes! Also better start packing for Camber Sands. Gah SO much to do!!

 

[instashun]

Why does he do everything to death. Every narrative he has. The dressing up in Barbara wigs was funny the first couple of times but he bled it dry to the point people hated it. Same with the pineapple, the Leo narrative, the brother narrative, the wedding narrative, gym content, the annoying colleagues at work for ‘banter’

the odd clip here and there and he’d probably come across as a funny guy but he just bleeds it dry to the point he looks an idiot.

I’ve seen influencers admit that it’s so hard because once you have done something you always have to better it. Ie on Olivia Attwoods documentary, Josh Richie admittted he went on only fans just clothed, but that wasn’t enough as once people had seen it they’d seen it so had to always keep going one further

it’s a lucrative life but it’s very short spanned as people move on to the next thing or person

sorry to derail a little but this is what I see with Jake. Was the odd story taking the mick out of influencers, then it was the odd ad he believed in, then several ads, roped his girlfriend and mum into it,now he will sell himself to anything that’s paying. Fake bake at your wedding?!
Where does it stop

 

[cazellie]

Why does he do everything to death. Every narrative he has. The dressing up in Barbara wigs was funny the first couple of times but he bled it dry to the point people hated it. Same with the pineapple, the Leo narrative, the brother narrative, the wedding narrative, gym content, the annoying colleagues at work for ‘banter’

the odd clip here and there and he’d probably come across as a funny guy but he just bleeds it dry to the point he looks an idiot.

I’ve seen influencers admit that it’s so hard because once you have done something you always have to better it. Ie on Olivia Attwoods documentary, Josh Richie admittted he went on only fans just clothed, but that wasn’t enough as once people had seen it they’d seen it so had to always keep going one further

it’s a lucrative life but it’s very short spanned as people move on to the next thing or person

sorry to derail a little but this is what I see with Jake. Was the odd story taking the mick out of influencers, then it was the odd ad he believed in, then several ads, roped his girlfriend and mum into it,now he will sell himself to anything that’s paying. Fake bake at your wedding?!
Where does it stop

Yeah totally agree with you. He used to be ok and have a laugh during the first lockdown now he’s just desperate and it comes across on screen too. She should have stuck with her beauty shed they’ll be needing the dosh soon enough but she’s above it all now. I used to quite like his mum too but she now comes across as nasty so I can see where he gets it from.

 

[CrazyBaldhead]

Jesus and we have the same picture put up this morning.He’s going to bore us all to death with the same content for weeks months years

I still think he looks like he's been sick in his mouth!

 

[gagzi]

He never really gets any likes/comments from people he's worked with or those he's been on shows with does he! Bet noone can stand the prick.

 

[PrincessJeanie]

He never really gets any likes/comments from people he's worked with or those he's been on shows with does he! Bet noone can stand the prick.

I bet most of the zlisters or ex colleagues that follow him have probably muted his stories and posts so they don’t even see them. Probably don’t want to actually unfollow him in case he calls them out publicly like he did to Laura Anderson

 

[Rosie_and_Jim]

He looks like he’s cracking a fart

 

[CrazyBaldhead]

So it's their last day today. Sophie looks miserable as duck and Matt, who couldn't be seated further away from Fakey, is probably reading this thread! Let's brace ourselves for the biggest crash back down to earth ever when they get back to reality and. struggle to open their front door because of the mountain of bills and credit card statements!

He looks like he’s cracking a fartView attachment 1561055

That photo is really unfortunate! She actually looks possessed!

 

[PrincessJeanie]

And now here come the shared posts. Every wedding post that has been posted, whilst yes he’s probably creaming himself over the likes and comments he’s been getting from them, cos it’s a lot more than usual, he’s getting less likes and comments on each one. You’d think he realise people aren’t interested in the same tit being drip fed over days, weeks, months but he’s so desperate for attention and engagement on SM, he’ll carry on regardless.
After the 1st day not one of the tabloid websites has even published any of his actual wedding photos. If that doesn’t tell him just how irrelevant they are, nothing will
He’ll be wanting to renew their vows soon just to keep his insta engagement higher

 

[Bestlife@60]

So the wedding and reception were in the villa grounds, then where the duck are they off to in the car? Maybe just a drive round the block!

 

[PrincessJeanie]

So the wedding and reception were in the villa grounds, then where the duck are they off to in the car? Maybe just a drive round the block!

Totally for Instagram content. That’s how bleeping sad and desperate they are

 

[gagzi]

I bet most of the zlisters or ex colleagues that follow him have probably muted his stories and posts so they don’t even see them. Probably don’t want to actually unfollow him in case he calls them out publicly like he did to Laura Anderson

Yes I bet they have . I still can't believe he did that. Imagine calling someone out because they unfollowed you! How cringe is that!

He looks like he’s cracking a fartView attachment 1561055

This has made me way more than it should! What a pic!