Jake Quickenden #31 Lord Farquaad, do you take Quickenden Jake Quickenden to be your awful wedded husband?

[mollyann]

Had to delete other had my picture at the bottom lol .definitely stalker vibes

 

[Moomoomoo]

ITS HERE!!! Happy Wedding Day fakeys!!!! Just chilling, getting me hair done then might have a Buck’s Fizz to start the day! What you all wearing?

 

[Rosie_and_Jim]

More chemistry in the Wayne kiss than I’ve ever seen from Fake and Farquaad!

 

[Libbub]

Quite frankly I don't know why she bothered to have them "bikini bottoms" on. Everyone in O Beach today has seen her gash. Everyone on insta has seen it too.

 

[ChloBo_81]

This thread is giving me LIFE, Fakeys!

So QSQ has got her boulders and fadge on full display while her husband is slobbering all over Wayne Lineker- and has been the most animated we've seen him in weeks.

Pair of fucking sad acts with Wayne in the DJ booth thinking they have well and truly arrived pahahaha I bet you ANY money that they've invited Wayne the Gout to the wedding

 

[PrincessJeanie]

Introducing mr and mr quickenden-linekar

He definitely looks more into it than when he’s fake kissing LF

 

[Cupcakemum]

I bet Ratboy hunted the Balearic Botherer down all afternoon for this. I can imagine Wanky Wayne to have a lot of diseases going on but gout wasn't one going through my head. As for the kiss on the lips and the look on Ratboy's face, he thoroughly creamed his shorts!

Give it up bro - you are 100% GAY!!!!!!!!!!
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He literally looks like he's going to cry, fucking closet loser.
Could he have pulled his shorts down any further though? He's practically begging for his baby carrot to be brushed

 

[ChloBo_81]

Might be an unpopular opinion but I'm with QVC: I think Sophie looks nice today too!

Jake: That yellow monstrosity with matching glasses makes you look like some kind of Ali G wannabe. Compliment your new wife, you arsehole!

 

[Philimena cunk]

Beige suits with badly fitting trousers
well worn Gucci
off the peg dress with massive veil
wavy hair

Warwick screaming "no" and "mine" all through the service, then promptly shits and vomits.
Freddie on his iPad.
Chris Hughes comes out of the closet and screams, "no Jakey, it's me you love"
Farquard faints.
Nanny QVC demands the loan back she gave them for the weddings.
Gypsy rose farquard is selling lavender/clothes pegs outside to cut her losses.
Everyone flies home stoned/pissed...

 

[Whogivesa]

Fucking hell, so he's left her to traipse up with the two kids on her own. Meanwhile wank weasle is straight into that shitty embarrassment of a tippy room, top wapped off and doing a video for all his minions to foam at the mouth in excitement at.
Her face when he opens the door. She's fucking fuming and then plasters on a fake smile just to keep up the 'happy couple' appearance.
Fakeys, I think I'm gonna OD on gummies this week. The fucking excitement is bamboozling me already. This is gonna be a shit show to end all shit shows and I'm here for it!

 

[MrsG03]

What I find bizarre is its his birthday and they have been seperate allday she had a 'girls' lunch, but not all the girls went and he has now gone out with a big group of them to eat, but without her. I know it's the night before the wedding, but I find the whole thing odd!

 

[Philimena cunk]

Sorry but wtf I can’t get over it
so many men have lost loved ones my husband lost his mum when he was teenager . He would never dream to do that instead we had photos of lost ones on a little table at the venue . He posted no pictures of his brother when he was alive but now he’s dead he uses him for likes . Disgusting . How is Sophie allowing this ffs it looks tacky and over the top I would hate that on my wedding photos he looks a fucking clown … and fuck sake somebody rip that cheap cross out his bastard ears he looks a mess

I imagine she will only post filtered photos . She will look just as bad with them spots and manly arms and face

My dad died two months before my 1st wedding. We had a candle lit for him.
My dad would have come back and fucking haunted me if I pulled the shit this cunt does ...

 

[ChloBo_81]

How fragile is he going to be feeling on his birthday today 46 stories yesterday and that doesn’t include the ones he took down. In the last month they’ve plastered their ‘honeymoon’ to Santorini over the gram, made it pretty obvious they were getting married in London on the gram and been on the gram non stop since getting to Ibiza but still not one story in any of the tabloids. Whilst daily they are showing the likes of the GC walking on a beach and Love Island contestants posing in their bikinis if this doesn’t show them just how irrelevant they are, that they can’t even get on the Daily Fail sidebar of shame, nothing will

No stories yet- this is unheard of! They are all rough as fuck and will be dismayed to find that despite their dirty delete- we have receipts!

So QJQ enthusiastically tongued Wayne Lineker with more passion than he has ever shown to his new wife, QSQ wore a flap-flashing bikini which will need to be surgically removed.....and after all that, they STILL haven't made the Sidebar of Shame!

They will have to pay for a wedding day "exclusive." QJQ is drowning in gummies, frantically trying every maxed-out credit card they have as we speak! And to top it all off, he'll be anxiously awaiting a LOT of birthday messages from "celebrity" friends to show how popular he is.

Happy birthday Fakey, you truly are the gift that keeps on giving!

 

[Turtledove58]

OMG, you total twat, this is beyond cringeworthy

 

[PrincessJeanie]

Of course! Fuck! Why didn’t we see this coming of course the grabby fuckers will have a magazine deal!!! We aren’t gonna see a thing! Now I’m all dressed up (top half) with no where to go

They’ve both said on numerous occasions they turned down magazine deals but let’s be honest they can’t even make the Daily Mail sidebar of shame, so OK and Hello were never going to be interested. Only reason he’ll have no phones is because he’ll want to be the 1st person posting a picture. Shame he wasn’t as considerate to Jamie & Camilla on their wedding day

 

[belle32]

This will come as shock as I actually have something nice to say for once and on a site like this butttt Lisa’s figure for her age!!

 

[Alpal73]

HAPPY WEDDING DAY FAKEY & LF!!!

found another corker here must’ve just had that god awful hair transplant done

 

[Moomoomoo]

Me too I'm bored

Just had a read they referred to him as a Poundland Epstein

 

[Libbub]

Speaks volumes as to what a useless thoughtless twat he is that he leaves her to carry Leo in the car seat up to the apartment while he films himself. Eeuuurghhhh I'd run a mile from this useless excuse for a man. In fact when he opened that door I'd have punched him in the face and told him to be a man and pull his fucking weight.

 

[calmyourritas]

Morning all and happy wedding day!!!!!!! Exclusive pic of LF and Jakey today