Jack Monroe The Sloppies 2023

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JombleWomble

JombleWomble

1. The Eye of Sauron award for “best public appearance”
The one where she was christened "guest"

2. The Golden Grifty award for “most egregious waste of money from someone claiming to be poor”
Accruing a new CCJ and all the associated costs instead of just refubdung someone a tenner

3. The Full Moon award for “best chaos”
Grifty Kitchen launch

4.The Yes Absolutely award for “most useless/actively harmful advice”
Risking losing a finger and ruining a knife just to make an egg ring

5. The Facetune Award for “selfie of the year”
The one in the back of the car using "portrait mode"

6. The Mission Inn Star Award for “best slop”
Anything involving liquid in an air fryer. At least if your house burns down while making it you'll be too busy to actually risk tasting it!

7. The Novak Nail award for “most entertaining/outrageous lie”
That the Sue Lee money was "ringfenced"

8. Missed Deadline Award for “most urgent item on Kacha's list” see posts by @kachoochoo for the full list in all it's fear and awe inspiring length
The VBI

9.The Silver Poca Plate for “honorary frau of the year
Shattenstone, for opening more people's eyes to the grift.
 
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MaineCoonMama

MaineCoonMama

1.The Eye of Sauron award for “best public appearance”
The centrefold nudie/bath of pennies Shattenstone article

2. The Golden Grifty award for “most egregious waste of money from someone claiming to be poor”
Ugly orange sock/heels

3. The Full Moon award for “best chaos”
Grifty Kitchen

4.The Yes Absolutely award for “most useless/actively harmful advice”

Freezing a hot water bottle

5. The Facetune Award for “selfie of the year”
"Apparently I nap like a Rubens"

6. The Mission Inn Star Award for “best slop”
Pass!
7. The Novak Nail award for “most entertaining/outrageous lie”
Jack moving house

8. Missed Deadline Award for “most urgent item on Kacha's list”
Granola , it's been years!

9.The Silver Poca Plate for “honorary frau of the year”

Group effort from makeup/hair/photography at the Shattenstone shoot.
 
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FourSeasonSoupObsessive

FourSeasonSoupObsessive

I'm late this year, sorry but would you all still like a sloppy serving of our annul prize-giving? If so, I'll deliver. Please help me though by reminding me nominating your favourite events. It might be post Christmas day but hopefully pre New Year. I'll do my best.

The Eye of Sauron award for “best public appearance” - Guesting with Emili Sandé and Dame Kelly H. She only didn’t get recognised because she’d rolled her sleeves down!

2. The Golden Grifty award for “most egregious waste of money from someone claiming to be poor”- The heckin’ big declutter where she yeeted all of the suppose “investment” pieces, including sixteen mother bleeping filing cabinets.

3. The Full Moon award for “best chaos”- grifty kitchen launch. Glorious, glorious nonsense.

4.The Yes Absolutely award for “most useless/actively harmful advice”- duck up your appliance and burn down your house by putting litres of water in your air fryer.

5. The Facetune Award for “selfie of the year”- was the eyeliner in the forehead, “I haven’t had Botox #trollclaims debunked“ this year?

6. The Mission Inn Star Award for “best slop”- Con-a-nation quiche. terrible.

7. The Novak Nail award for “most entertaining/outrageous lie”- she had to split up her family and go on the lam from stalkers, during which time she was able to softly, gently, return to the bungamansion to retrieve several boxes of Nice ‘n’ Easy from under the stairs, which she said she’d used to dye her hair in a photo where she’s clearly wearing a wig 🤪

8. Missed Deadline Award for “most urgent item on Kacha's list” see posts by @kachoochoo for the full list in all it's fear and awe inspiring length- it might not be on the list, but I for one can’t wait to see the September 2023 me-me-memoir.

9.The Silver Poca Plate for “honorary frau of the year”- Andy Lynes, Trifle Defender, Ariel “Pipe down Socktopus”.

Please feel free to suggest other categories or anything you like. When I've had enough nominations I'll work on the Sloppies proper.


Im sure there’s loads I’ve forgotten!
 
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People-huv-tae-know

People-huv-tae-know

These are great, then everyone. If it's OK, I'll probably have the competition ready for the 27th I think and I'll leaving voting open till after New year.
 
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W

witchofwestbyfleet

A few more ideas if it's not too late ...

1. The Eye of Sauron award for “best public appearance” - Edinburgh Festival where she came out with the story about "they shared a tin of cold baked beans between them!" and allegedly accused major supermarkets of price-fixing to take down the Venereal Buffalo Index

2. The Golden Grifty award for “most egregious waste of money from someone claiming to be poor” - "Butch" shirts for guest and football shirts for her son from the "vintage thrift store", actually just a regular vintage shop with a heavy markup

3. The Full Moon award for “best chaos” - Sue Lee Day!

4.The Yes Absolutely award for “most useless/actively harmful advice” - Immolate your crappy bungalow by re-using spray oil bottles and filling them with unmixed oil and water

5. The Facetune Award for “selfie of the year” - "Done with kitchen scissors and box dye, that'll do!" (A week after another haircut where her hair was much shorter)

6. The Mission Inn Star Award for “best slop” - Pear and bacon porridge from Grifty Kitchen

7. The Novak Nail award for “most entertaining/outrageous lie” - 1. Sinister Tufton Street forces set up "troll farms" to take her down
2. The bath was full of pennies
3. Big Chocco and Eve couldn't afford food and relied on hand-outs from their church yet were still allowed to keep taking in vulnerable kids

8. Missed Deadline Award for “most urgent item on Kacha's list” see posts by @kachoochoo for the full list in all it's fear and awe inspiring length - The Me-Me-Me-moir

9.The Silver Poca Plate for “honorary frau of the year” - Susie Dent or Big Chocco's ex-colleague who spilled the tea to @mchops

Also last year we had an award for lack of due diligence, can I suggest that this year it go to the organisers of the Edinburgh Festival for actively and deliberately covering up guest's lies?
 
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B

BenignNarcissist

At the risk of being accused of blatant glory-seeking, could we have a special ward for those who come Out of the Canal and into the Streets to report back here?

@MissNarcissus and I infiltrated Celeryville to report back the unfiltered (nay, unhinged) Guest monologues.

What a time that was...
 
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Hollaaa

Hollaaa

I'm not sure if number 3 was this year or last year, but here are my noms:

1. The Eye of Sauron award for “best public appearance” - The awards thing she was only at for 5 minutes because no-one would talk to her (Observer Food?)

2. The Golden Grifty award for “most egregious waste of money from someone claiming to be poor” - £10 refund escalation

3. The Full Moon award for “best chaos” -
Content's collar phone number

4.The Yes Absolutely award for “most useless/actively harmful advice” - air fryer soup

5. The Facetune Award for “selfie of the year” - the portrait someone did of her where they included facetuned earrings.

6. The Mission Inn Star Award for “best slop” - the income-generating air fryer chilli

7. The Novak Nail award for “most entertaining/outrageous lie” - More of a lie by omission - refusing to correct anyone who thinks the VBI is real. And pretending she's not on TwitteX.

8. Missed Deadline Award for “most urgent item on Kacha's list” see posts by @kachoochoo for the full list in all it's fear and awe inspiring length -Jacinda Ardern blog post/series of blog posts.

9.The Silver Poca Plate for “honorary frau of the year” - Queen Ariel Anderssen or Instagram slo-mo MUA
 
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People-huv-tae-know

People-huv-tae-know

Like the VBI, this is coming, Christmas has been a bit busier this year for us. I'm hoping to start work on it today but first I must colour in my wallpaper and colour sort my post it notes 😘
 
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MurielSnark

MurielSnark

People-huv-tae-know said:
Then you dear heart ❤

Voting is now open. Thank you to everyone in this thread for all your suggestions, it was a huge help and I could not have done it without you. Also a big thank you to the Wiki contributers, that is a work of art.
docs.google.com

The Sloppies Voting 2023

Place your votes for your favourite Chaoi
docs.google.com docs.google.com
Click to expand...
Thanks for this @People-huv-tae-know. Lots of hard work and creativity went into this and it's brilliant! Look forward to the prize giving.
 
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MurielSnark

MurielSnark

MaineCoonMama said:
I'm going as the VBI. ( Other unfinished projects available)
Click to expand...
I have a dress crafted out of the lids of many tins that had to be levered open with a mallet. I sanded down all the sharp edges, drilled a hole in each one and used thread unravelled from my Christmas stocking to attach them to a vintage Viv (RIP) dress. It's a post-punk, boho thrift look I'm going for and the tins shine beautifully under a photographer's light. Will also be wearing mismatched Docs with red laces for extra quirkiness. Closer to the time, I'll get advice from Mrs Gloss about hair and makeup.
 
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