Jack Monroe #99 Great Eggspectations

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Someone get to Bletchley and put that nonsense through the Enigma Machine.
We could probably find the Recipe Cards..

 

[Captainmouse]

334 and don’t forget those incygrunking who have yet to arrive in real time.

can we start a hashtag trend on twitter? Postal problems Southend?

Another 30 added and the grunka express has a few passengers in the 80’s and 90’s so the cabal is growing

 

[Oofadoofa]

I most of the time really have to laugh about people asking cooking related questions. Not coming from a know-it-all place but if people ask if they can replace the apples in a crumble with pears or so...I am...amazed...also...why would one ask JM for recipe ideas? Surely they could have googled that before waiting for her answer...Maverick ideas indeed...if life gives you lemons, make lemonade...if life gives you tomatos, make tomato sauce. Clever!

yea, one has to wonder how many of these simpletons ask expecting maverick creativity only to go away feeling embarrassed after being given an obvious suggestion...

 

[blurstoftimes]

Erm, has she forgotten about her tomato allergy then? “I’m a food writer,” I wailed at the gentle doctor at the foot of my bed some hours earlier. “I’ve literally just written a book about canned tomatoes and fish, and now I need to give them up?”
He nodded, sympathetic, but apologetically firm.

When my daughter was 5 she broke her leg, the next morning the doctor came into the ward, gave gave her some crutches (surprisingly 5 year olds don't have the upper arm strength to use crutches), told me it was going to be a really difficult summer then left me to figure out how i was going to carry my 5 year old to the bus stop. Where is this magical hospital where doctors have the time to sit down and take the time to explain and be apologetic and firm about a potential tomato allergy?

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[LavaFlake]

I am hooting at the deliberate inclusion of Redcar. Have yer seen it??? (vague Fast Show reference)

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Veronicaaa]

When my daughter was 5 she broke her leg, the next morning the doctor came into the ward, gave gave her some crutches (surprisingly 5 year olds don't have the upper arm strength to use crutches), told me it was going to be a really difficult summer then left me to figure out how i was going to carry my 5 year old to the bus stop. Where is this magical hospital where doctors have the time to sit down and take the time to explain and be apologetic and firm about a potential tomato allergy?

It's a private hospital.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Erm...

 

[LennyBriscoe]

would it not be better for her to come up with one idea and link to a recipe on her website? Of course that would actually make sense which not something jack makes a habit of doing

Blurst, don’t be coming here with your logical ideas and common sense. No place for it in Jacksville my friend

 

[maytoseptember]

I feel like most of her patreons are people signing up just to support her who’ve fallen for the povo narrative so they’re not that arsed about getting what they should be getting cos ‘Jack’s just doin ‘er best’

Exactly. That’s why she gets away with it. And she bloody well knows it.

The poor mugs Patreons daren’t chase up their goods, because clearly they follow her social media closely, and they know she’ll be wailing and gnashing her teeth about “admin” and ADHD and collapsing on the floor and her paltry (fictitious) food budget. Who would cancel their money when the poor love needs it? She works so hard and her life is such struggle

I wouldn’t mind so much if these Patreons were all affluent and had money to waste, but I suspect a lot of them are vulnerable and can’t afford it.

You’re a con artist, Jack.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Harrybosch]

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Puttanesca and salsa Verde both contain anchovies. #vegan

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Jesus, her behaviour is really rather worrying.

 

[Boyo]

Rrgvrvrhhfrfhrfv..;l’[ounttvyrc4fr75gg57. Iny7in7i66bbu6bu6gu6ggu6..,yb6bu6bum. Is jybutgutg everyone trctrdtexteddrextxrxe,o9877 watching yrcu64f764d54td54 me vi757za2ys3%s yet?

 

[kachoochoo]

maybe she could use this regular correspondent squiggle's (a fan btw) suggestion in future...

this is in response to the chestnut fudge thing. which will be going on the list.

 

[emmer_moans]

That looks nothing like a risotto. Doubt it tastes like one either.

It looks like a pan of soup that is full of maggots.

Yes! Definitely maggot like!

 

[colouredlines]

Erm, has she forgotten about her tomato allergy then? “I’m a food writer,” I wailed at the gentle doctor at the foot of my bed some hours earlier. “I’ve literally just written a book about canned tomatoes and fish, and now I need to give them up?”
He nodded, sympathetic, but apologetically firm.

Ah, to be fair she regularly forgets about her unstoppable loathing for coriander (including in one of her Qs today).

She's incapable of keeping track of her own lies.

 

[BashmentLady]

I see she's blaming her Mediterranean arse, but my £1 [sausages] were going to go on some lies about the cat and then to talk about how Maine Coon he is[n't].

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

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Just to be clear Jack. Don’t come to Teesside, ever.

 

[JoyceDivision]

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Is she ok?!