Jack Monroe #98 Thoroughly Naff

[MancBee]

This is my favourite part:

Anchoiade, pronounced an-shoy-ard but very quickly, according to a French youtuber with a voice of clipped velvet with a laugh never far behind, was stumbled across on the Instagram feed of my former Daily Kitchen Live colleague, Matt Tebbutt. A passing mention on a restaurant menu, that I scrawled in a notebook, commenting ‘Oh, anchoiade!’ with hearts for eyes, as though I knew what it was. I didn’t, of course, but I loved the word already, and suspected I would love the thing itself.

Her writing is so cringeworthy!

No wonder it takes her so long to write up recipes when she insists on padding them out with so much flowery, unnecessary prose.

It. Is. A. Recipe. Book.

Was she not taught about word redundancy in a sentence? Good grief, if that was intended to be an entertaining and fun introduction to her recipe she missed the mark by a mile. A concise and interesting anecdote I can live with, but not that rambling unnecessary nonsense.

No one wants to wade through a poor imitation of a Mills and Boon before getting to a recipe for fishy eggs. (having said that, I wouldn't want the recipe either)

 

[jenny2603]

Nigella's logged on to twitter to wish Richard E Grant and his wife a happy anniversary but is thus far studiously ignoring the fact she was tagged in the egg recipe.

Nigella doesn't actually know Richard E Grant or his wife. It's a coded distress signal having been implicated in "eggs".

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

They scare the life of me but I am a right wuss!

My mother had one when I was a kid that she treated as though it would go off like a landmine at any moment - the most animated and elegant I ever saw her was as she leaned over from the safety of the sink to lift the weight with the tip of a carving knife, arabesquing like a small, sweaty ballerina in a cloud of chicken scented steam.


These days, however, pressure cookers come equipped with safety valves and failsafe mechanisms that prevent the lids being opened before the pressure is equalised with the outside world. So they're fine.

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

No.

 

[Emmapism]

I think it would be helpful if you sent out those bleeping postcards mate

 

[ScamSandwich]

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No.

circumstances are not relating to Covid but to Louisa's presence or absence. But the plot thickens that they are together again.

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

It. Is. A. Recipe. Book.

Was she not taught about word redundancy in a sentence? Good grief, if that was intended to be an entertaining and fun introduction to her recipe she missed the mark by a mile. A concise and interesting anecdote I can live with, but not that rambling unnecessary nonsense.

No one wants to wade through a poor imitation of a Mills and Boon before getting to a recipe for fishy eggs. (having said that, I wouldn't want the recipe either)

She has delusions of Anthony Bourdain except she has no skill for cooking and writes like a 6th Former..

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[ScamSandwich]

It. Is. A. Recipe. Book.

Was she not taught about word redundancy in a sentence? Good grief, if that was intended to be an entertaining and fun introduction to her recipe she missed the mark by a mile. A concise and interesting anecdote I can live with, but not that rambling unnecessary nonsense.

No one wants to wade through a poor imitation of a Mills and Boon before getting to a recipe for fishy eggs. (having said that, I wouldn't want the recipe either)

Don't want the recipes, neither the prose. This is such a lesbian thing to do, the prose bit. Don't me, I am a lesbian, too, so expert proof advice coming from me.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[instacharlie]

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No.

Oh I'm here for the 18p Christmas dinner! I'm already at the table with my party hat on!

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

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This looks like a JM parody recipe

 

[Ladderedtights]

Urgh stop brown nosing Jack, it’s so embarrassing.
Stop the poverty cosplay, people are in real real trouble and you’re wearing yellow stickers like a costume.

 

[Walkdengirl]

Things is jack, you can't write. I love reading nigella, Simon Hopkinson, nigel Slater and ina garten because I enjoy their writing. I was feeling glum last week so I dug out 'How to eat' and it really cheered me up no end.

Jack, your writing however is so overwritten and full of words you don't really understand that it's painful to read and unpleasant (I visualise you having a little note book and a pencil and when you see, or hear a new word you painstakingly copy it down with your tongue sticking out the corner of your mouth for future use).

 

[instacharlie]

View attachment 296533

But why was she alone if she lived in the same area as her family? Was she just stubbornly doing it to say she spent christmas on her own?

 

[Pocahontas]

No one wants to wade through a poor imitation of a Mills and Boon before getting to a recipe for fishy eggs. (having said that, I wouldn't want the recipe either)

I think what we’re witnessing here is Jack’s foray into erotic fiction. Remember the sheer awesome power that the smell and feel of anchovies has on her ovaries.

 

[MancBee]

But why was she alone if she lived in the same area as her family? Was she just stubbornly doing it to say she spent christmas on her own?

Yes, absolutely. (needed an airing)

 

[Satisfying Click]

LEAVE ELVIS ALONE, JACK

LeaveBritneyalone.gif

 

[NP]

I think what we’re witnessing here is Jack’s foray into erotic fiction. Remember the sheer awesome power that the smell and feel of anchovies has on her ovaries.

Is this... is this actually from one of Jack’s books?